All In
by AshleighDeVoe2014
Summary: Dr. Reid is facing something that he truly knows nothing about- relationships. Hold tight for drama, suspense, and some steamy romance. Rated M for lemons and possible trigger warnings.
1. Chapter 1

I lounge on the couch anxiously waiting for Spence to come home. I always wait up for him when he calls to say they are coming home. Even though he always tells me to go on to bed. The door slowly creaks open and he makes his way inside. I look at him with excitement but quickly change my expression when I see his face. Oh no, it was a bad one. I scramble up and wrap my arms around him. He rests his head on top of mine and kisses my hair.

"You okay?"

"I will be. Just had a hard case."

"Wanna talk about it? You know you need to get it out."

"Okay…I want to get cleaned up first though."

"I'll make some coffee."

Spencer emerges from the bedroom ten minutes later wearing sweats and his hair is damp. He sits on the couch beside me and takes the coffee I offer him.

"It was kids. Teenagers. The unsub's life read like a 'how to make a serial killer' manual. Bullied, mental health issues, nobody took it seriously. Adults turned a blind eye when he was young. Lost him in the end, turns out he was making the kids…well he kept boys and girls both. You can fill in the blanks."

"I'm sorry baby, I know those are tough on you."

"I was first on the scene with Morgan. It was terrible. We found ten of them alive though."

"How many-"

"Sixteen. Sixteen dead. In a freezer. They were made to kill each other." He drops his head and picks at the knee of his sweat pants.

"Oh my God."

"I'll be fine. I don't want you to worry about me. You shouldn't have to be subjected to what I see."

"I won't force you to keep talking about it. Just know that I'll always be your shoulder should you need one."

"Thank you. Now I think I'd just like to curl up with you and shut out the world for a while."

"Sounds perfect." I give him a peck on the lips before rising and taking his hand in mine, leading him to the bedroom. We curl up in bed and I lay my head on his chest, listening to his soft breathing.

"Tell me Ash, do you ever get frustrated with me?"

"What do you mean?"

"I'm talking about my quirks."

"No. I love your quirks."

"If you ever want something, just tell me. You know, I'm not very good with talking and emotions…with relationships in general. You're honestly the first real girlfriend I've ever had."

"Babe, you don't have to…"

"Yes. I do. I know I'm gone so much and I know that it has to be hard on you sitting here day in and day out by yourself. I'm so grateful for everything you do." He tightens his grip on me and I keep quiet, knowing this is his way of unwinding.

"If you ever want to go…further…all you have to do is say something. I'm perfectly content with what we do now. I won't ever try to do more without you telling me to. I just…I don't want to hurt you…or screw up what we have…I can't-" I shoot up on my elbows and put my finger to his lips.

"Spence. Stop it. You don't have _anything_ to worry about. I won't leave."

"You know, when we come back from cases like this and I try to get some sleep, usually I can't because I'm having dreams related to the case. This time was different. I had a dream that I came home and you were gone."

"Spencer. Stop that right now. I'm not going to leave. Please believe that. And I won't ask to do more until I'm certain you're ready." I rest my palm on his cheek and he gazes up at me before taking my face in his hands and rolling over, pinning me to the mattress and kissing me fiercely. We stay like this until we are both breathless and flushed. When he pulls away I run a hand through his hair and he leans into my touch. I trace my thumb under his eye.

"As much as I'd like to play with you tonight, you need some rest."

He concedes and kisses me before he cuddles into me, wrapping his arms securely around me and nuzzling his face into the crook of my neck. I lie awake and run my hand through his hair, not even realizing when I fall asleep.

...

I roll over to cuddle up to Spencer and realize I'm alone in the bed. I smell breakfast being cooked so I slip out of bed tip toe into the kitchen. I come up behind him and wrap my arms around him, resting my head on his back.

"Good morning baby. I could have made breakfast."

"Don't mention it. Just take a seat and let me take care of you. You deserve it."

"If anyone deserves to kick back its you, my sexy crime fighter." I pop up on my tip toes and trail butterfly kisses across his shoulder and up his neck before he turns and kisses me.

"Sit Ashleigh. It's almost done."

"So bossy…" I saunter around the counter and perch up on the barstool. Within minutes he places a plate in front of me and a glass of juice. Pancakes and bacon. My favorite.

"So, what is all this about?"

"I had an epiphany last night and I couldn't find the right words to tell you what was on my mind."

"Have you found them now?"

"I believe so. After calling you from the plane Hotch sat down with me. Asked how you were, talked about the 'honeymoon' phase of moving in together. Told me about how he used to call Haley ten times a day. After a few minutes, he told me to never stop calling and not to make the mistakes he made. To not let it be the job. That made me think. I realized that I need to be present when I'm home. When I walk through that door, all of my attention needs to be focused on you."

"Oh Spence…" He takes my hand in his and kisses each of my knuckles.

"I love you, Ashleigh."

"I love you too, Spencer."

"Now eat. Today is for you. What would you like to do today?"

"I think I'd just like to spend the day wrapped in your arms. I missed you so much, and the night before you came home I got a little spooked. Made me realize how safe you actually make me feel."

"Spooked how?"

"I just kept feeling uneasy. I was out to dinner with my friend Ellie. You know her. Well we were shopping after dinner and I had this feeling like I was being watched. I came back home and went to bed, brushing it off and I could have sworn there was an extra car on the street when I got here. I know what you are gonna say, but I don't think it was out of the ordinary. I was just jumpy."

"Just promise me you will be safe?"

"I promise. Don't go getting all paranoid on me." We lounge around on the couch for most of the day watching movies in comfortable silence. I've been subtly watching him for a few minutes. He's been on the same page of that book for seven minutes so I know something is on his mind. After a few minutes he speaks.

"What are you thinking about for lunch?"

"Takeout?"

"Whatever you want."

"How about that place across town? They don't deliver but I can go if you don't want to get out."

"You really are the perfect woman." He gives a small laugh and kisses me before going and getting his wallet off the counter.

"Here, use my card."

…

I get back home about an hour later and there's candles and the curtains are drawn.

"Spence?"

"All in, remember?" he comes out of the bedroom, takes the bag out of my hands and wraps his arms around me, kissing me deeply.

"I love you."

"I love you too." I nuzzle into his chest before he breaks away from me. He eats slowly and I'm trying to read him.

"You okay?"

"Yeah. Perfect." He gives me a reassuring smile and suddenly it clicks. The candles, dim light, him sending me out. He's planned something. And I know what it is. He's into research so I know he's read up on 'what women want'. Now I know why he's so quiet. It's because he's nervous, and when he's nervous he profiles. We finish eating in silence and I catch him twiddling his thumbs. I get up and move around to him, perching on his lap. I kiss his forehead and trail down to his neck before gently biting. He lets out a heavy breath and folds his arms around me.

"Let's go to bed." His voice is different. Husky almost. I like it. He stands up, bringing me with him, making me squeal in delight while I wrap my arms around his neck. He lays me down on the bed and all the sudden I am covered in kisses. We're all tongues and hands, throwing each other's clothes off. This is different than anything we've ever done before. It's all passion. He's trailing kisses down my body before reaching my sex and I gasp when his mouth descends on me. He continues his sweet torture until I'm trembling. I knot my fingers in his hair and I can feel him smile against me.

"Spencer…" I pull his face up to mine and kiss him before reaching down and lining him up to me.

"Are you sure, Ashleigh?"

"Yes. I want this. Do you?"

"Yes. I do." With that he eases into me, ripping through my virginity and I gasp, clawing his shoulder. He stills for a few moments, allowing me to adjust before I nod into the crook of his neck and he builds up a steady pace.


	2. Chapter 2

_**A/N:**____**I have big plans in the works for this story and I would really appreciate reviews. I plan on having some reader participation if I can get enough of an interest. If you would like to make a character for this story please send me a private message with a short description/bio to run off of and I will work it in. You will of course get credit for participation. I look forward to hearing from you! Regardless please review!**_

...

_**Chapter Two**_

My eye's flutter open and I'm lying on Spencer's chest. He's running a hand up and don my back. I prop up on my elbows and gaze down at him.

"Good morning, my handsome genius, how did you sleep?"

"Better than ever. You?"

"Wonderfully."

"How do you feel?"

"Good. A little sore."

"I'm sorry, I should have been more careful." He tries to duck his head but I put to fingers under his chin and make him look at me.

"Spencer, it was perfect. Everything I could have imagined." I giggle, remembering him asking if I was okay every five minutes. He puts his hand on my face and I lean down and kiss him deeply. He flips over on top of me, biting down softly on my bottom lip. I watch him catch a glance at the clock. It's 5am! Make's sense considering we were both asleep by 8.

"Good enough for round two?" He cocks an eyebrow and flexes his hips against me.

"Practice does make perfect." I smirk and claim his lips.

…

I lay sprawled across his chest and he's playing with my hair.

"Do you want breakfast?"

"I don't want to leave this bed," I murmur against his throat and run my tongue along his Adam's apple, making him quiver.

"Well as much as I would love to lay in this bed and make love to you all day, I should really get ready for work.

"Let me make you breakfast while you shower." I smile and run my hand through his slightly damp hair.

"Are you trying to tell me I stink?" He raises an eyebrow and stifles a laugh.

"Quite the opposite. You smell like us, but you, my dear, are surrounded by profilers, so you need to reduce suspicion. So, go get cleaned up." I give him a chaste kiss and get out of bed, slipping on his shirt from the day before sauntering into the kitchen. About twenty minutes later he comes into the kitchen and sits on one of the barstools. Damn, he looks good.

"You look good in earth tones."

"And you look good in earth tones too, specifically that little number." He motions at me with his fork and pushes his hair out of his face.

"What are you doing today?"

"I'll work for a few hours, and I have a paper to write."

"When do you have to be online?"

"Ten. Offline at twelve."

"You wanna drive me to work?" He gives me a sheepish grin. Oh my. We both have the afterglow-stuck like glue-crazy about eachother thing going on.

"I'd love to." I jump up after him and grab my keys off the counter.

"As much as I love to look at those legs, how about you cover them up before we leave?" He laughs as he's shoving papers into his bag and I run off to the bedroom to throw some leggings on.

…

When we pull up to the BAU he gives me a quick kiss and goes to get out.

"What time do you want to be picked up?"

"Six. If that's okay. I know you have work to do so I can always ride the metro."

"Okay. Love you."

"Love you too."

"Good morning pretty boy!" Morgan appears out of nowhere and I laugh.

"And so, it begins." He rolls his eyes and closes the door, walking toward Morgan. I'm putting the car in gear when I hear Spence.

"Shut up!"

…

It's around one when Spencer calls me. I think it's cute when he calls me during his lunch.

"Hey babe."

"Hey…I've got some bad news. We just got a case."

"Where at?"

"Ohio, I'm so sorry."

"Don't be. It's the job, right? When do you leave?"

"Two hours. I'll have to run home and get my go bag."

"I can bring it to you."

"No! Umm, I need to get my car. There's no telling when we will get back and I don't want you to have to come get me in the middle of the night."

"Umm okay."

"See you in a bit."

That was strange. I go into the bedroom and empty the old clothes out of his bag and replace his pajamas. I don't pack his other clothes though. I'm sitting it on the bed for him when he comes up behind me, enveloping me in his arms. He nuzzles his face in the crook of my neck. I turn in his arms, returning his embrace and breathe in his scent.

"I love you."

"I love you too."

"Call every day."

"I will."

"Be safe." I tighten my arms around him.

"I will." He kisses my hair and tilts my chin up. He kisses me deeply and then releases me. When he's done packing his bag he goes into the kitchen.

"I checked the mail today after I dropped you off."

"Anything for me?"

"A letter from the look of it." He flips through the stack and pulls it out.

"From my mother."

"Why doesn't she just call you?"

"Prefers letters."

"Next time you go to visit her could I come?"

"Why would you want to do that?"

"Because that's a pretty standard thing. Meeting a guy's mother?" I giggle and his eyes narrow.

"Ask and ye shall receive."

"Are you just saying that so we won't argue."

"Kind of. I just…I don't know about taking you to see my mother."

"Why not?"

"I just don't want to do this now."

"Come to think of it, I haven't met your team either, except for in passing."

"Ashleigh, don't…"

"Spencer…"

"I'll call you later." He ducks out the door after giving me a chaste kiss. "Love you!" He calls back at me.

"Love you too!"


	3. Chapter 3

**_A/N:_********_I want to stop and thank you guys for reviewing! Please keep it up! I promise to update in the next 48 hours!_**

**_-Ashleigh_**

**_Chapter Three_**

Reid gets on the jet and Morgan's eyes snap up to him.

"Go home for a quickie?"

"Shut up. You know this is exactly why we're fighting? Cause I'm terrified for someone to make a comment like that if she meets any of my friends and family." But that was a lie and he knew it. He was afraid because there are certain things his team knows about him, things he was afraid for her to know.

"Oh, Reid, man come on. You know I won't embarrass you in front of your girl."

"Sorry, she just wants to meet my mother now and I'm not embarrassed I'm just afraid for her to see what could eventually-"

"Happen to you?"

"Yeah…"

"Don't worry yourself to death kid. Start small. I know I would love to meet this mystery woman."

"How would I even go about that without making a big deal of it?"

"Let me take care of that one." Rossi comes out of the back and smiles at Reid.

"Oh great." He plops down on the seat across from Morgan.

JJ sits down next to Morgan and looks over at Reid.

"What's he pouting about?"

"They're just relentless."

"Awh, pretty boy gonna tell mommy." Morgan teases and Reid tosses a pencil at him.

"Boys…"

…

Two days later Spencer calls me early in the morning.

"Hey baby, we're coming home. Do you have plans tonight?"

"No, why?"

"Rossi wants everyone over for dinner."

"So, are you going?"

"Yes. And I want you to come too."

"Really? Sounds like fun."

"Good. We should be home in a few hours."

"Good. You'll have time to shower and rest before we go to dinner."

"More like, I'll have time to take you to bed and lose ourselves before we go. May even christen the shower."

"I look forward to it. See you soon. Love you."

"Love you too."

…

He backs me against the wall of the shower and grinds his hips against me.

"Oh, I love you so much." He crushes his mouth to mine and moves down my body causing me to moan. His hands move all over me and I cling to him like a lifeline.

"I love you too Spencer." I dip my head and nibble at his neck as he buries himself in me.

"Oh fuck." He reaches down and hooks one of my legs around his waist to get a better angle. Damn, this is hot. It doesn't take us long to find our release. We stay leaning against the wall breathless for a few minutes. I reach up and push his hair off of his forehead.

"Let me wash it?"

"Sure." He smiles down at me and passes me a bottle.

…

"So, does Rossi have dinners for the whole team a lot?"

"It depends."

"Why are you so hesitant for me to meet your friends?"

"This team is just so close that we have a family dynamic."

"And you don't want your 'big brothers' to embarrass you?"

"Something like that. We should get going."

On the way there I get the thought.

"Why do you hardly ever drive?"

"I'm not very good at it."

We pull up to Rossi's house and I can hear laughter from the doorstep. Everyone makes introductions and Rossi asks how we met.

"At a bookstore."

"Why am I not surprised?"

I give a small laugh and glance at Spencer. Good, he's thawing out a little.

"She thought I worked there."

"Hey!" I swat his arm. "You brought that on yourself. You marched right up to me and asked if I needed help finding anything."

"My man!" Morgan slaps him on the back and he laughs.

"So how long have you been seeing eachother?"

"Nine months, seventeen days."

"So you just moved in about a month ago?"

"Yeah." I smile and he squeezes my hand. "You already knew that though, didn't you?"

"I suspected. Pretty boy stopped coming in early."

We sit around the table and I am hounded by questions. I'm starting to figure out the family dynamic that he was talking about. Rossi is almost like the grandfather of the group, he's laid back but also knowledgeable and seems to be full of life lessons. Hotch is more like the father. A more rigid version of Rossi but you can tell he would do whatever it took to protect his team. JJ is like the mother, caring and level headed. Even though she is being nice and accepting to me I know she is profiling me. Making sure I'm not going to hurt Spencer. Garcia and Emily are like the big sisters. Morgan is a typical big brother, goodheartedly teasing him.

"Okay okay, I think she has had the enough of the interrogation. We should probably be getting home. I think you have succeeded in getting my girlfriend drunk."

…

I open my eyes and Spencer isn't in bed. I wrap his shirt around me and saunter out into the living room. I find him at his desk in the corner.

"Hey, whatchya doing?"

"Writing my mother a letter. I missed a couple of days."

"So, when are we going to Vegas?"

"I don't know. I'll have to wait for the right time."

"Oh…you've never told me anything about her. Is she busy?"

"You could say that."

"I won't push you. I just want every part of you." He turns and holds his arms out, inviting me to sit on his lap. I oblige and wrap my arms around his neck.

"There are some things that could send you running for the hills."

"I want to know them all."

"My father left when I was ten." He takes a deep breath and tightens his arms around me. "My mother hasn't been the same since."

I feel like he's holding something back but I just let it go.

"Have you eaten?"

"No. Haven't been up long."

"What would you like for breakfast?"

"Just coffee." He runs the tip of his nose along mine and I get up to get the coffee going. He folds the letter up and puts it in an envelope.

"I'm running errands today, is there anything you need?"

"Condoms?" He gives me a sheepish grin.

"Will do. I guess neither of us realized how much fun it would be." I hand him his coffee and perch on the edge of his desk. "I enjoyed meeting your team."

"I'm sure I'll hear about it for weeks. They love you. Almost as much as I do." He pulls my feet into his lap and kisses my knee. I curl my toes against him and he laughs.

"You are insatiable. I like it." He leans forward and parts my legs, trailing kisses up the inside of my thigh.

…

When he's halfway through the door, Spencer turns around and hands me the envelope.

"Could you mail this for me?"

"Sure thing." I perch up on my tiptoes and he cranes his neck to kiss me.

"I love you, have a good day."

"I love you too, now get back inside before someone sees you. As much as I love watching you prance around in my shirt, nobody else gets to see." He winks at me and leaves. After I shut the door I look down at the address on the envelope.

Diana Reid

Bennington Sanitarium

1279 Shive LN

Las Vegas Nevada, 88901


	4. Chapter 4

**_Chapter Four_**

I am reeling all morning. He never told me about his mother. Is it possible that she just works there? No that doesn't make any sense if she just worked there she wouldn't get mail there. I go to the post office and drop the letter first. Then I go about my day. Hitting the cleaners and the grocery store before returning home. I'm almost done cooking dinner when he comes through the door.

"How was your day?"

"Uneventful." He deposits his bag on his desk in the corner and comes back into the kitchen, wrapping his arms around me.

"I mailed the letter for you."

"Thank you."

"Was that your way of telling me? About your mother?"

"I just…I couldn't find the words."

"You know you can tell me anything. Why is she there?"

"Can we not talk about it?"

"No. I want to know. No more secrets." I turn around and look into his eyes.

"I'm not having this conversation." He pulls away from me and goes toward the bedroom. I'm right on his heels though.

"Spencer, you stop right there! Talk to me!"

"What do you want me to say?" He turns around and spreads his arms out.

"I don't know. Something."

"I said I'm not having this conversation right now."

"I just want to know more about you."

"Don't you know enough?"

"No, I don't."

"So, what you're saying you don't know me?"

"No, Spencer, that's not it." I close the distance between us and his expression makes me want to just hold him. He's terrified. I grasp his face in my hands but he jerks away. I put my hands on his shoulders and make him look at me.

"Spencer. What the hell has gotten into you?"

"I'm just not ready to open that door."

"Why won't you talk to me?"

"Because you might leave." He tilts his head against mine and closes his eyes. I reach up to wipe a tear from his cheek.

"I promise you know everything you need to know about me." His voice cracks and more tears flow.

"You are so perfect and pure and kind and you see the world as this big, bright, beautiful place. It's my job to keep it that way. I deal with the lowest forms of evil and depravity. I don't want you to know half of what I see on a day to day basis."

"But your family…"

"I just can't go there." He walks back out into the living room and sinks down onto the couch.

"Did your mom…"

"No! Nothing like that. I have a wonderful mother, she just isn't well. She did everything she was able for me. It just got to the point where she needed supervision round the clock. And there's a part of me that hates myself."

"Spencer, you can't blame yourself. If your mother is sick then she needs help."

"What kind of son puts his mother in an insane asylum on the other side of the country?" He leans over and puts his face in his hands.

"One that has her best interest at heart." I put a hand on his back and can feel him quivering.

"That's why I write her letters every day. So, I won't feel as guilty for not visiting her."

"You can't possibly visit regularly with the job you have."

"No, but the last time I was on vacation all I did was go to the hospital every day and watch her, check up on her. I only physically visited with her one time the entire week I was there."

"I'm sure that she knows you love her."

"I think you're right. She's told me my entire life 'a mother knows'."

"Tell me about her. The good." He looks up at me and sniffles.

"She read to me. She was a college professor. Literature."

"That's why you surround yourself with books."

"Books are all I've ever known. Until you, these books are all that was waiting for me at home. A means of escape."

"What's your best memory of your childhood?"

"I was ten. It was a month after my father left us, I went to my mother's bedroom and she was in bed. It was the middle of the afternoon and she hadn't moved from bed. I tried to get her to get up and go outside. She wouldn't. But she had me come sit with her and she read to me for hours. Ordered pizza, spent the day lounging around. Then she told me that I would do great things. It's sad because my dad as gone and she was depressed and both of us were so hurt. It's happy because that was the first time I got her to take her medication. She took it every day after that but, eventually it got worse and I had to send her away."

"Spencer…" I pull him into a hug and he sobs into my hair. We stay like this until the oven beeps. I pull away and kiss him softly. I run my thumb across his bottom lip and wipe his tears.

"Your lips are soft."

"Crying puts pressure on front and back of head, that leads to more blood flow which leads to a bit of swelling and a bit of redness due to vasodilation."

"There he is." I brush his hair out of his face and kiss his cheek.

"Let me get dinner before it burns." I get up from the couch and go into the kitchen. We eat in silence and go to bed early. He curls himself around me and lays his head on my chest.

"Did you get condoms today?"

"Yes." I run my hand through his hair. "Why do you ask?"

"Curiosity. I don't want to tonight. I just…I want this." He tightens his arms around me and sighs.

"I'll hold you all night long."

"Thank you. I love you. So much. You know that right?"

"I know. I love you too. Sleep now." We share one last kiss before he nuzzles his face into my neck and falls asleep.


	5. Chapter 5

_**A/N**__**\- Okay guys so I just got in a grove today and came up with a bunch more content than I planned. I've still got about five chapters in the bank that I'm working up to. Chapters that I wrote after the first one but really need to be worked up to for them to make sense. Anyways, here's an extra chapter dedicated to ahowell1993, Mystfied Dreams, and MayisGJ. You guys rock! Remember to follow and review! **_

_**-Ashleigh**_

...

**_Chapter 5 _**

I am roused by Spencer's head nuzzling my chest and I smile to myself. Naughty boy.

I'm still half asleep when I hear him speak.

"I'm not weak…not weak…no…mom I'm sorry…mom…I'm not weak…not weak…not weak..." I open my eyes and peer down at him. Oh no. He's not nuzzling. He's writhing in his sleep. He has tears streaming down his face which is twisted up in agony.

"Spencer, wake up you're dreaming." I run my hand down his side and he jerks back, rolling onto his back and I sit straight up and touch his knee.

"No…no…no!"

"Spencer wake up!" I grab his shoulders and shake him. Screaming as warm tears streak down my face. His eyes open wide and he's gasping. He flinches back away from me twice before he comes back to reality. I rest my hand on his cheek, tear still in both of our eyes. His are wide and he is still shaking. All of the sudden he throws the blankets off violently and jumps out of bed, storming to the living room. I quickly follow him and I stand in the doorway, my eyes wide with horror. He is storming in a flurry around the living room, jerking books off of the shelf, flipping through them, and angrily throwing them aside. I rush across the room to him and grab his wrists.

"Spencer, stop, just stop. What's wrong?"

"Please just let me think!"

"Spencer snap out of it!" I grab his shoulders and he shrugs me off. He stands in front of me, running his hand angrily through his hair and breathing heavily.

"Spencer calm down, you're having a panic attack." I grab his hand and pull him down to the floor with me. He pulls his knees up and puts his head between his legs.

"That's it," I run my hand through his hair, "Just breathe, baby."

"It's textbook Ashleigh, I don't know how I could have missed this. I was reading child psychology books AS A CHILD!"

"What happened? What did you dream about?"

"My father." He gives me a confused look.

"What about him?"

"It was different than the other nightmares. The ones I've had my entire life." He looks up at me as fresh tears stream down his face. These aren't tears of panic. This is anguish and sadness.

"What dreams?"

"I have dreams about the day my dad left, and the day I had my mom involuntarily admitted. He was yelling and she was crying and I told him about how children with two parents are more successful and he yelled at me and I just stood there and watched. 'goodbye' was all he said to me. And I told her we needed help but she didn't want to leave her home but I made her I sent her away and after they took her I just sat in her kitchen and cried for hours."

"Oh spencer." I hold his hand and bow my head against his.

"This was different?"

"At the end. My dad…he came into my room…he sat down and…and he said he loved me and that it would…be okay…he touched my leg and…no…I don't want to do this…no…" He bows his head against my chest and sobs. I run soft circles on his back until he stops convulsing. We sit in the floor, leaning on each other for a while as his breathing slows.

"Let's go sit on the couch, I'll make you some tea." I stand up, pulling him up with me and go to the kitchen while he goes to sit on the couch. I sit down beside him and hand him his cup.

"Ashleigh, I seriously think that dream was a repressed memory. It felt like the others. The others feel real."

"A memory of what?"

"I'm not sure…I think…"

"What?"

"I think it's time you meet my mother. I wish it were under better circumstances." He runs into the bedroom and gets his phone. Who the hell is he calling at three in the morning?

"Hotch hey, I'm sorry to wake you. I just need some time. I need to go see my mother…yeah, everything is okay…I just need to look in to some things…alright…thank you…yeah…see you Monday."

"Why did you just take the rest of the week off?"

"I need to see my mom." He runs back into the living room and gets his laptop out, he's pulling up flights to Vegas. He quickly purchases tickets and runs back to the bedroom, he's running around in a flurry, throwing things into his go bag.

"Why are you just standing there? You need to pack a bag, flight leaves at 10." I realize that he's not to be argued with so I quickly throw a bag together.

…

When we leave the airport, we take a cab to an FBI field office and brings me in with him, flashing his badge as he walks up to a desk.

"Hi, I'm Dr. Spencer Reid from the BAU in Quantico. I called early this morning about picking up a Bureau SUV."

"Great to see you again, Dr. Reid. I wasn't aware that the BAU was on a case here."

"We're not. You know Hotch, always sending me out for research." He gives a breathy laugh and takes the keys from the man behind the desk.

"Thanks. Have a good one." We drive to the sanatorium and he parks away from all the other cars in the parking lot.

"There's something you should know before we go in there. My mother is a paranoid schizophrenic. So, depending on whether or not she's lucid she may lash out not knowing you. Just know she doesn't mean it."

"Okay." I gaze up at him and push the hair off of his forehead, "Stop worrying."

"I'll have to ask her some difficult questions while we're here so you may want to step away when I do just in case I upset her."

"Spencer, it will be okay." I grasp his hand and kiss his knuckles. We get out of the SUV and go in the front door. Spencer waves to the older woman sitting at the front desk and goes to his mother's floor, stopping to speak to the nurses at the desk. I look around the living area and try to figure out which woman is her. As soon as my eyes land on the couch in front of a window I know it's her. She's holding a composition book and staring out the window. He takes my hand and leads me over to her.

"Hi mom," he steps in front of her and smiles.

"Spencer…"

"I brought someone with me that I'd like for you to meet."

"Oh?" He holds his hand out to me and I step in beside him.

"Mother, this is Ashleigh. Ashleigh, my mother, Diana."

"Nice to meet you." I smile at her and we take a seat opposite to her.

"Likewise." We talk for a few minutes and she tells me about Spencer as a child. How he's always been exceptional. Not hard to believe. Eventually Spencer hands me the keys and tells me to wait in the car. He comes out about fifteen minutes later looking ashen. After about fifteen minutes in the car he finally speaks.

"My mother confirmed my suspicions. I'm taking you to the hotel."

"For what?"

"Time to go see my dad. You can't be there."

"Why not?"

"Because I might be making an arrest."

We get up to the hotel room and find Morgan and Rossi sitting in a chair in front of the TV.

"Oh, come on man."

"What did you remember?" Rossi looks up at him.

"I know you remembered something months ago when we were here for Riley. More of it came back didn't it?"

"Yes. It might be a good thing you're here, we need to go make an arrest."


	6. Chapter 6

**_Chapter Six_**

When they arrive at William Reid's work, Reid turns around and tells them to hang back that he just wants to talk. He goes in and he's immediately taken back to his dad's office.

"Spencer,"

"Dad."

"Why are you here?"

"I just want to ask you some questions about my childhood."

"You aren't going to try and detain me again are you?"

"Depends on if you cooperate."

"What do you want to know?"

"Did you know I was being molested?"

"What are you talking about?"

"You came into my room, told me it would be okay, and let another man in."

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Yes, you do. I talked to mom."

"Your mother isn't well Spencer." He shoots up out of his chair and slams his fists down on the desk.

"Don't you talk about her! Tell me why strange men were in and out of the house. All she knows is you had friends over at all hours of the night."

"Spencer this is ridiculous."

"The statute of limitations is up. I just need to know. For me. If you ever once cared about me, then tell me. Tell me what you let those men do to me."

"It was around the time your mother had to stop working. Before she was able to draw a check. I was approached and…"

"You thought you would make a few extra bucks exploiting your son?"

"I'm sorry Spencer, those were hard times."

"Imagine how hard it was for me."

"Why are you asking these questions after all these years?"

"I was having a nightmare, My girlfriend went to wake me and when she touched me in my sleep it triggered something and I remembered. Did you ever?"

"No. God no. I held you while…"

"You held me down while strange men touched me?"

"Yes." He drops his head in shame and Spencer storms out.

…

Reid gets back out to the SUV and gives Morgan and Rossi the run down. Afterward, it's a silent drive back to the hotel. They realize they need to regroup. Spencer can't have been the only victim of this group. They decide to make the hotel room kind of a home base and Rossi tries to get two more for him and Morgan but they don't have anymore.

"Well if they don't have a vacancy until tomorrow can't they just stay with us. I mean it's only about twelve hours at this point."

"As long as it's okay with you…"

"Yeah it's fine. I'll…make myself scarce."

"You don't have to do that we can work on this somewhere else."

"No that's fine. Just text me when you're ready for bed." She kisses him on the cheek and quickly leaves the room. Morgan gives him a sly grin.

"Text me when you're ready for bed, lova," he winks and Rossi laughs.

"I wouldn't be laughing if I were you, Morgan. I'm sharing a bed with a beautiful woman and you're sharing with Rossi."

"Touché, Pretty Boy." They settle around the small table in the corner of the room and pull out a laptop to call Garcia. They get her digging into abuse and molestation reports dating back thirty years just to be safe. Reid recounts again what his father told him. He and Morgan have always had a connection, but this was different. They worked for a while longer before Spencer decided they should call it a night. Morgan and Rossi went down to the bar and Ashleigh came back up to the room.

…

**Ashleigh**

I get back up to the room and find Spencer changing his clothes.

"Where's Rossi and Morgan?"

"Sent them to the bar. Needed time with you." He crosses the room and takes my pajama shirt out of my hands.

"This camisole isn't going to cut it. Morgan sleeps with the air conditioner on full blast," he holds out his t shirt to me and I smile, slipping it over my head. I wrap my arms around him and we stand in the center of the room for a few minutes, just holding eachother.

"My father let two men molest me. They paid him. He held me down and kept me quiet. My mother had her suspicions but it never amounted to anything."

"Oh my God…Spencer…" I hold him tighter and he buries his face in my hair.

"My mom got so suspicious that it was one of the reasons he left. But he lied and said the reason she was so paranoid was because she wasn't taking care of herself. Nobody else believed her either."

"Please tell me you're going to nail the bastards who did this to you?"

"The statute of limitations is up for me. I know the statistics though. Once got too old for them they moved on to another and another. If I'm right, and I hope that I'm not, there's a little boy out there suffering right now." We curl up in bed and it's not long before Spence is asleep. I lie awake, seething. He mumbles in his sleep and I run hand through his hair to calm him. Half of me wants to just break down with sadness. The other half of me wants to kill the men who hurt him and kill his father for not only allowing it but participating. I hear Morgan and Rossi in the hallway so I quickly shut my eyes and pretend to be asleep.

"Hey, I'm gonna, get cleaned up. I think I'll get out of here before Reid wakes up. I want to follow a lead and he can't be there for it."

"What kind of lead we talkin'? You can't arrest him. Reid wants that pleasure."

"I'm not going to _arrest_ him. I do know how to get him to talk though."

"Ah yeah? How's that?"

"If he was pimping his child out and taking money for it then a case can be made on grounds of sex trafficking. Statute of limitations on sex trafficking is 20 years. So, he might want to cooperate or else I tell Reid about that little loophole." Rossi's voice is almost sing-song as he's fading out of the room.

"He told you, didn't he?"

"Oh, come on Ashleigh I know you're awake."

I open my eyes and see him sitting on the bed beside ours.

"I hate profilers. And yes, he told me."

"So, what's on your mind?"

"I just want that son of a bitch to pay."

"I understand, he hurt someone you love."

"Spencer already knows about the loophole by the way."

"So why hasn't he arrested him yet?"

"He wants it to come out of nowhere. His dad doesn't know about it either."

"I'll let Rossi know."

…

I wake up and Spencer is getting dressed.

"Hey, Where's Morgan and Rossi?"

"Checking up on a lead Garcia found this morning. We're going to see my mother."

"Do you need to ask her something about the case?"

"No. I want to visit her everyday while we're here, even if it's just for a few minutes."


	7. Chapter 7

_**Chapter Seven**_

We pull up to the hospital and as we're walking inside I see a man walking out. Spencer tenses beside me but says nothing and keeps moving. I glance up at him and he looks like he's made of stone.

"That was your father, wasn't it?"

"Ashleigh don't-" he tries to stop me but I'm already back pedaling and following the man back out to the parking lot.

"Hey stop! Stop right there you sick son of a Bitch!" I break out in a run and look back to see Spencer following me, exasperated. I grab the mans shoulder and he snaps his head around to look at me.

"Can I help you?" Before I even realize what I'm doing I draw back and slap him across the face.

"You should know, prisons don't take too kindly to child molesters. And I hope to God you end up being someone's Bitch." Spencer catches up with me and I feel his arms fold around my waist. He drags me back up the side walk and stops under an awning.

"What was that? We can't just go around hitting people!"

"Hey, I'M not the FBI. I can hit whoever I want."

"Okay there Rocky, calm your little butt down. I had to get you away from him but honestly, you're kinda hot when your mad and I had half a mind to look away."

"I don't know what came over me I'm sorry..."

"You didn't sleep last night."

"What are you talking about?"

"I heard you and Morgan talking."

"How did he not know you were awake?"

"Micro expressions." He shrugs and brushes the hair out of his face.

"So...I get to be there when you arrest him right?"

"Tell you what," he wraps an arm around me and starts to walk inside.

"I'll let you watch from the car."

"Just the thought of anyone hurting you...it makes my blood boil."

"I know."

...

The car ride back to the hotel is silent. Diane was understandably agitated but Spence got her calmed down pretty fast. Turns out his dad was there to give her a name to pass on to Spencer. Guilty conscience I guess. Whatever the reason, it doesn't excuse what he did. He drops me back at the hotel and leaves to meet up with Morgan and Rossi. I spend most of the afternoon alternating between reading and watching tv. About 7PM there's a knock at the door. I look out the peephole and see JJ.

"Hey...is Spencer okay?"

"Yeah yeah he's fine. We're all going out to dinner. I was on my way back to the station so I just figured it would be simpler for me to just pick you up."

"Okay just...let me change real quick."

"Don't be ridiculous, you look better than any of us."

"Okay...lets go."

...

Throughout dinner they all alternate between talking about the case and regular conversation. Apparently, Garcia has already found seven separate cases in Nevada and California and she hasn't even moved on to the rest of the country yet. These boys all reported multiple figures and all of their stories have been chalked up to imagination dealing with the trauma. Hotch mentions bringing someone into the case who specializes in this sort of thing. I only know bits and pieces of what Spencer tells me. The thought of having an entire sector of the FBI dedicated to crimes against children makes me physically ill. Spencer senses this and reaches for my hand under the table. They're going on a raid tomorrow which also makes me nervous. According to Morgan the best time to go is during the day. That ensures that everyone will be home since they do whatever it is they do at night. When we get back to the hotel room we move around in comfortable silence getting ready for bed. I curl into his side and rest my head on his shoulder.

"You okay?"

"I guess. It was a long time ago. Obviously my subconscious has found a way of working through it. I'm just focusing on helping these other kids."

"I'm sorry about today..."

"It's not a big deal. I'm honestly glad it happened as funny as that sounds."

"How come?"

"Because I can't. I can't lash out at him no matter how bad I want to. If I do then Hotch will have no choice than to take me off the case. If I lash out and then we make an arrest he will get off on police brutality. Technically I shouldn't even BE on the case."

"So I take it that you all were able to make it an official case?"

"Yeah. And if you don't want to be here for this you can always go home. I'd hate for you to be stuck in a hotel room while we're working this. Hours will be really long."

"Don't be ridiculous. I want to be here with you."

"Okay but at any time if you want to leave all you have to do is ask."

"I know."

I lean up and kiss him before settling back on his shoulder.

...

I wake up hot and thirsty so I ease out of bed and to to the fridge for water. I go out on the balcony to sit and watch the city below me. I could kill that son of a Bitch for hurting Spencer. He puts on such a brace face it I know he's crumbling inside and there's nothing I can do to help him. Maybe he will take Hotch's advice and talk to someone. Now I understand why he never tells me anything. He's trying to protect me from all of the evil in the world.

"No don't touch me...no...get em off me please get me off me..."

I rush to Spencer's side and shake him awake. His eyes go wide with panic before he snakes his arms around me and unceremoniously pulls me down beside him, rolling over on top of me. He crushes his mouth to mine and I am so confused. He pulls back and his eyes burn into mine.

"Spence...what-"

He puts a finger to my lips. "I just need you."

I oblige and restart the kiss. He makes quick work of discarding our clothes and we lose ourselves in eachother.


	8. Chapter 8

**_A/N:_********_First of all I would like to apologize for the delay. i try to update every other day but unfortunately, work and life sometimes get in the way. I've gotten a creative burst over the past couple of days so I intend on having another chapter up by tonight/mid day tomorrow. Secondly I would like to thank _****_ahowell1993_****_ for consistently commenting on every chapter. From here on every review will get a shoutout so please take the time to review/follow. _**

**_Thanks! _**

**_-Leigh_**

**_Chapter Eight_**

I wake up and find our bed empty. I hear the sink running so I get up. I grab his discarded sweater from the back of a chair and wrap it around myself. When I open the door he quickly takes his hand out of his bag that's sitting on the sink. Weird, but I brush it off. Maybe he's just jumpy. I wrap my arms around his waist from behind and rest my cheek on his back.

"Come to bed…"

"In a minute."

"What's on your mind?"

"I just don't understand why. It's bad enough that he allowed it to happen. Why did he watch?" Our eyes lock in the mirror and his are filled with pain.

"I don't know, Spencer." I hug him tighter and I can feel him softening. He traces his fingers over my hand and takes a deep breath.

"Come on, you should get some rest…" He takes my hand and leads me out of the bathroom.

"It's not me that I'm worried about." We lay across the bed and I brush his hair back.

…

I wake up to Spencer kissing me softly.

"Ashleigh baby, I've got to go."

"Okay…What time is it?"

"Six."

"Call me as soon as you get back to the station?"

"Okay."

"Promise?"

"Promise." He smiles down at me and we share one more kiss.

"Love you." I settle back into bed and he smiles down at me.

"I love you too, now go back to sleep. Don't worry."

…

I'm sitting on the balcony reading with the door open when I hear the room phone ring. Weird.

"Umm…Hello?"

"Is this Ms. Devoe's room?" Oh yeah that's right, Spence used my name for some reason.

"Uh, yes, it is."

"You'll get an envelope in five minutes, follow the instructions inside."

"What are you talking about? Who are you?"

"Call me a concerned party. Just helping the BAU connect the dots. See you in three hours. Oh and, no feds, just you. You can pass on the information."

The phone disconnects and I look at the clock. It's 11 so no doubt Spencer is at least on his way back to the station. I pull my phone out and text him.

_'__Hey, call me when you get the chance. Just got a freaky phone call and an envelope under the door."_

My phone rings within seconds.

"Hey, you've got me and Rossi, what does the note say?"

"I don't know. I haven't opened it."

"Okay good, don't touch it. We're five minutes out. Stay on the line and get dressed. You can put the phone down if you need to but don't hang up." I throw on some jeans and a t-shirt and they burst through the door just as I'm pulling my hair back into a ponytail. Rossi pulls a glove out of his pocket, picks up the envelope, and pockets it.

"Come on, we're going to the station."

"I have to go?"

"Yeah, you're a witness now."

We get down to the SUV and they have me sit in the middle of the back seat so I can't be seen. Rossi drives and Spencer keeps his eyes forward even though he's talking to me the entire time.

"What did the caller say?"

"That he would see me in three hours, give me information to help you on the case, and the meeting place would be written on the note."

"Yeah, like that's going to happen."

"Spencer, I have to. He said no feds."

"I don't care, you aren't going in there. We're having this checked for prints. We still have two hours and thirty-seven minutes. Did you recognize the voice?"

"No. It was muffled."

We get back to the station and I watch Spencer from the office they've sat me in. He's in a flurry around three boards, trying to make connections. The rest of the team are in multiple interrogation rooms. We make eye contact through the window and he comes into the office with me.

"Hey, you okay?"

"Yeah. It was just a phone call. You?"

"Eh. I will be." The door opens and Morgan pops his head in.

"Hey kid, we got a match."

"And?"

"Your dad definitely sent the note."

"Let's go pick him up then…"

"No, wait. It'll go a lot smoother and quieter if we get him at that warehouse. No witnesses either so that means no media."

"Okay so what's the plan?"

"You aren't going to like it…"


	9. Chapter 9

**_A/N:_** _**Thank you to ahowell1993 and tannerose5! I will try to update within the next 24 hours!**_

_**-Leigh**_

**_Chapter Nine_**

We're sitting in the SUV in a parking lot near the warehouse and Spence is putting a wire on me.

"Now remember, all you have to do is let him talk. Do _not _say who you are. Let him lead. First sign of trouble you get out of there I mean it."

"You don't like this."

"No. I don't. Just be safe." He kisses my forehead when Morgan gives the signal and I walk toward the warehouse. I go inside and he's standing there waiting for me.

"So, what do you want?"

"You're another victim?"

"Yes," I lie and he takes the bait. "I snuck off from my protective detail so you need to get to the point."

"Is my son part of that detail?"

"No, they took him off of the case. Look, if you brought me here to ask about Dr. Reid then maybe you should just google him, I really should be going."

"Okay look, I didn't have a choice. They approach you and if you don't give them what they want they take your kids."

"How do they find you?"

"There are different ways." He looks down at the floor.

"How did they find you?"

"I never touched my son." His eyes shoot up to meet mine.

"But you touched somebody else's, and you watched them touch yours," I snap back.

All the sudden the door busts in, and there's a rush of people. A hand grabs me and pulls me back and I see Spencer slam his father against the wall and twisting his arm behind his back. He tries to fight but Morgan grabs the other arm and hands a pair of handcuffs.

"Stop resisting you son of a bitch." After he's linked up Spence pushes him out and into an SUV. Him and Morgan pile into the front and peel out. I ride in with Rossi, Hotch, and Prentiss.

"What I don't get is, why would he think you're another victim?"

"I'd say Spence's mom told him that. We went to see her day before yesterday, she knows that we're together. But when we were going to see her yesterday, he was coming out of the hospital. I kind of lost it for a minute and when we got inside she was lucid. We told her what happened in the parking lot. More like Spence was bragging about it."

"He told us that William was trying to feed her lies to confuse her."

"Yeah. My guess is he went back this morning and asked her who I was. Then she lied to protect Spence."

"Makes sense, he's private. His mother would know that better than anybody."

"So, what do we do now?" Prentiss asks.

"Well, we have to talk to Reid but I do have an idea on how to shake him up…"

…

"You want me to do _what_?"

"Look, I know it's not the best scenario, but it's the quickest way to get him to talk."

"Rossi, I'm not taking my girlfriend into an _interrogation room _just to make out with her!"

"That's not what we're asking. Just wait until we have to bring him out to the bathroom or something. Make it obvious your together. I'm not telling you to rip each other's clothes off. Just try to get a rise."

"What makes you think that he will even care?"

"He keeps tabs, relishes in the fact that he _thinks _he ruined all of your future relationships. Show him otherwise."

"Spencer, it's okay. Once he's let enough slip to hold him, you can take me back to the hotel and I won't argue."

"Fine, but _only _because I'm ready to get her out of here." He leads me back into the office where I've been hanging around and opens the blinds. I sit on the desk and pull him close to me.

"I love you, you know that right?"

"I know. I love you too. I don't like using you like this."

"I want to help. Just focus on me." I've purposely sat where I'm facing the window and his back is turned. He rests his head on my shoulder and I run a hand through his hair. I see them lead him out of the room and he glances at us for a moment. When they are bringing him back from the bathroom he just pauses and stares at us. After a few minutes, Spencer releases me.

"Stay here. I'll be back soon."

…

About an hour later he comes back to the office and takes my hand.

"Time to go…"

"Did you get anything?"

"Enough to hold him. Come on. We've got him in a holding cell and Hotch is sending everyone home for the night." He leads me out of the police station and puts me into an SUV.

"So, what happened?"

"You were right, my mom told him you were a victim."

"So, what's going to happen now?"

"At the very least we got him on trafficking. We just need to find out how much he knows before we book him."

"What about the other ones?"

"They aren't getting out anytime soon. We busted the leader in the first raid. Once we're done with my dad we'll be done here and go home."

"Good."

"You can go home tonight if you need to…"

"No. I'm staying with you." I reach over and take his hand in mine and he gives me a shy smile.

When we get back to the hotel he takes a shower and comes out on the balcony with me.

"So, what did he say?"

"He admitted to everything. Read me the riot act too. I'm sorry we used you."

"You didn't use me. I want to help you."

"I know. It just feels wrong."

"Did he tell you that?" He bows his head and looks away from me.

"Spencer. Did he tell you that?"

"Yes."

"Well it's a lie. You know he's going to say anything to get into your head. You can't let him."

"I know. That's why Morgan is going in there tomorrow."

"Let's go to bed. You need to get some rest."

"You're right."


	10. Chapter 10

**_A/N- Thank you to ahowell1993 and tannerose5 for reviewing! I am taking a poll right now and would really love the input. Who would you like to see Ashleigh buddy up to on the team? You can pick one male and one female member for this poll. Each man and each woman with the most votes win. So please choose Morgan/Rossi/Hotch and Prentiss/Garcia/JJ and vote! Thank you,_**

**_Leigh_**

**_Chapter Ten_**

"You want a deal?" Morgan is actually laughing in Will Reid's face. Like nose to nose laughing. Spence went with Hotch to follow another lead and JJ snuck me into observation. Morgan looks through the window.

"This jackass really wants me to make a deal with him!" He turns back and stifles another laugh. "I see Reid didn't get his brain from you, man, you're dumb as a box of rocks if you think you're getting a deal."

"Look, I know the FBI makes deals."

"When we _want_ to. I ain't making no kind of deal with you man. You're going to ESP." His eyes widen and I look over to JJ.

"What's ESP?"

"Scariest prison in Nevada."

"So, they're having him sent there?"

"If Spence has his way about it."

Oh. She coaxes me out of the station and we walk down the street to a coffee shop

"We're heading out first thing in the morning. We've pretty much made a case. Just wrapping things up."

"Good. I'll book myself a flight."

"Don't be silly. You and Spence are flying back with us."

"Oh…Okay."

"Don't worry, everyone usually sleeps on the way back. Especially from Vegas. The three musketeers usually go out partying on the last night.

"Is it safe to assume that you, Spence, and Hotch don't?"

"Uhm yeah, you'd be very safe assuming that."

"Hey JJ"

"Yeah?"

"Can you tell me why Spencer never wants me to leave the apartment?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well he hasn't _said _anything. I can just tell. He gives off this weird vibe when he's away and I get out."

"We just know what's out there. Does it make you uncomfortable?"

"No! Not at all. Just curious."

"Spence is very protective. And very perceptive."

"He doesn't profile me, if that's what you're getting at."

"So, what do you do?"

"I work part time from home. And I take online classes. I'm kind of an introvert, worse than Spencer." I laugh.

"Oh, what are you studying?"

"Graphic Design. I know, not as exciting as what you guys do but I think it's cool. Although at the moment I'm stuck in Gen Ed. hell."

"Late start?"

"Yeah, I took a few years off and worked until I decided what I wanted to do."

"So, are you happy?"

"You mean, is Spence happy?"

"No, I know he's happy," she laughs. "I'm asking about you. As good a profiler as he is, he doesn't really know his way around relationships."

"Well neither do I, so I guess we're a good match."

…

When we get back to the station, Spence is officially booking his father, with Morgan going on record. Hotch tells everyone that we're leaving at ten am. When we get back to the hotel I go to the shower and Spence settles down with a book. I'm washing my hair when I feel him slide in behind me.

"Let me…" He cranes his head down and kisses the tip of my shoulder before massaging my head. Once he's satisfied he reaches over and turns off the shower.

"You'll do. Now, let's go to bed, I want to hear about your lunch date with JJ." I quickly dress and scramble into bed with him.

"It's nothing bad. We just talked."

"Oh, I know. I'm just glad you get along."

We share a kiss and 'I love you's' before I curl into his side.

…

I'm halfway asleep as I follow Spence onto the jet and he settles us into a set of double seats. Wow, this is pretty nice. After a few minutes, everyone else is with us. Prentiss, Morgan, and Rossi are all hungover. Hotch tells Spence he will have to do a psyche evaluation. He agrees but he's not thrilled about the idea. I go to lean against the wall but he tugs gently on my hand and I rest my head on his shoulder. After a while I drift but am still aware of what's going on around me. Morgan and JJ are sitting across from us.

"Spence, I'm not telling you what to do, but you might want to encourage Ashleigh to get out more."

"Why's that?"

"I get the vibe that she feels like you don't want her to leave home by herself."

"Did she tell you that?"

"In a roundabout way."

"It's not that I want to keep her cooped up or anything. She's just told me about some weird stuff that's been happening."

"Weird stuff?"

"Yeah, she's felt like she's been followed a few times, noticed unfamiliar cars. Just strange stuff."

"How long has this been going on?"

"A little over a month. It's gotten worse since she moved in. I just want her to be cautious is all."

"Okay, just be careful how you go about it."

…

The car ride home is silent, but the closer we get, the hotter it gets in this car. Spence is rubbing my leg and I get an idea. As soon as the door clicks behind us, I take his hand and lead him to the couch.

"Okay I'll bite. What are you doing?"

"You'll see." I straddle him and run my hands through his hair, down his face, and across his shoulders before slowly unbuttoning his shirt, placing feather light kisses down his torso. I kiss right above his belt before undoing it and moving back up onto his lap, kissing his neck and running my teeth softly along his adams apple.

"I love you." I whisper against his skin and he shivers.

"I love you too." He pulls me down onto him and kisses me roughly, burying his face in my neck.

**_I am taking a poll right now and would really love the input. Who would you like to see Ashleigh buddy up to on the team? You can pick one male and one female member for this poll. Each man and each woman with the most votes win. So please choose Morgan/Rossi/Hotch and Prentiss/Garcia/JJ and vote! Thank you,_**

**_Leigh_**


	11. Chapter 11

**_A/N: _****_Okay guys I'm sorry for the delay and I'm sorry for such a short chapter. I had a death in the family this week and it's been kind of crazy. I'll be skipping ahead a couple of weeks in the next chapter. It has already been written so I will try to have it edited and posted within the next 48 hours. Don't forget to review, follow, and favorite! Thanks-_**

**_Leigh_**

**_Chapter Eleven_**

"Last night was new." Spencer smirks at me over his coffee and I can't help but blush. We're at a little coffee shop –our coffee shop- across the street from the bookstore where we met. The same coffee shop we met at nine times in the first two weeks after we met. We would sit across the table from each other and read, occasionally work, and throw in conversation here and there.

"So, I hear Garcia invited you to dinner tonight?"

"Why do you sound so surprised?"

"Oh, I'm not surprised that she asked. I am surprised that you agreed to go. I know new people aren't your cup of tea."

"Well, I figure there's no avoiding them." I laugh and he nods. He takes my hand and we walk back toward our apartment building. Spence keeps looking over his shoulder and scanning everyone we walk past.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing, force of habit." He smiles down at me.

"So…that was new?"

"Oh yeah, good new. Wasn't expecting that."

"I liked it." We get inside and I curl up beside him on the couch. He trails his hand up and down my back. We sit in comfortable silence and I listen to his breathing. I love how we fit together almost like a puzzle.

"So, what are your plans for later?"

"I'm not sure. Probably watch a movie or something."

"You know, I don't have to go."

"Oh yes you do. Like you said, you can't avoid them forever."

"I know, I just want to be with you while I can before you get whisked away again." My arms tighten around him and he gives a breathy laugh.

"Me too, but it's only a couple hours." I pull away from him and steal a kiss before going to get ready.

…

We arrive at the restaurant and Garcia wastes no time. We get to know each other a little before she dives into the real reason she wanted me alone.

"So, what kind of weird stuff has been happening?"

"Nothing major. I mean, I'm probably just being paranoid."

"Well if you want us to look into it we can."

"I'm sure it's nothing."

"Well Reid must think it's something if he wants you to stay in."

"He just worries, that's all." I look down at my hands twisted in my lap.

"You know, I've never seen him like this. So, head over heels. We all think it's pretty adorable."

…

When I get back home I find Spencer sprawled out on the couch with a book across his chest. I smile to myself and kneel beside him, brushing the hair out of his face.

"Hey," he whispers as his eyes flutter open. "How was dinner?"

"It was good. We just talked. She says you're worried. I don't want you to worry yourself to death about me. Nothing is going to happen to me."

"I can't help it. I just love you." He sits up and kisses me, wrapping me up in his arms.

"I love you too. Now let's get to bed."


	12. Chapter 12

**Okay guys sorry for another short chapter but I really needed a filler before I could move on. The next chapter will take place between S05 E18 and S05 E19. I plan to have it edited and posted by tomorrow night at the absolute latest. Thank you all for being so patient. Also thank you to ahowell1993 for your condolences AND for reminding me that Reid needs to be shot. That's the main reason for this filler chapter. Thanks guys,**

**Leigh**

**Chapter Twelve**

Spence had to run in for a case today but its local so he said he would be back tonight. I'm putting away laundry when my phone rings and it's Morgan.

"Hello?"

"Hey baby...I'm on my way to the hospital. Can't find my phone."

"Oh my God! Are you okay?"

"I just hurt my knee I'm fine."

"What? What happened?"

"I got shot but it's okay it's just my leg. Can you bring me some clothes though?"

"You got shot?" I go into panic mode. "Where are you oh my God are you okay? Which hospital?" I'm running around throwing clothes in a bag for him and shoving my feet into my shoes.

"Ashleigh baby. Calm down, it's okay. I'm in the ambulance. Garcia is on her way to pick you up right now. I'll probably be in surgery when you get here so don't get in a big rush. I just wanted to call you so you didn't freak out. I'll be fine. The bullet went clean through."

There's a knock at the door and I open it to find Garcia on the other side.

"She's here."

"Okay good. Gotta go. Love you."

"Love you too."

...

When we get to the hospital Garcia leads me down a hallway to a waiting room where Morgan, Rossi, and JJ are sitting.

"How's Spencer?"

"He's in surgery but should be out soon. Medic said it looked like the bullet missed the bone and went through muscle so he should be okay."

"What happened?"

"We really aren't sure. He threw a fit to call you and talked to you until they made him hang the phone up."

"Oh..." I sit down and wrap my arms around myself, watching the clock. After a couple hours a doctor comes in to talk to us. He tells us that Spence will have to stay for a couple days but should make a quick recovery.

"Can...can I see him?"

"Maybe just one of you for now."

I look to the rest of them and Morgan nods. I am led to a dim recovery room and find Spence at the far corner, laying back with his eyes shut but I know he's not sleeping. I cross the room quickly and I catch a glimpse of an older nurse smiling at me. I rush to his side and take his hand making his eyes flutter open.

"Hey. What happened to no running?"

"Oh give me a break," I laugh and tears fill my eyes. He reaches up and wipes a stray tear away.

"No tears. I'm okay I swear. Doctor said I should be good to leave in a couple of days. I'll have to use crutches for a while though."

"You could have been killed..."

"Just another day. Don't worry about it. Now come here." I halfway lay on my side and he wraps an arm around my waist, putting his face in my neck.

...

A week later we are back home and Spence is frustrated to say the least. I try to help him but he's hell bent on being independent. He's already been on a case since he got out of the hospital. Luckily it was cut and dry and they were back home the next day but I still think he should've taken time off. I'm curled up next to him with my head on his lap when he gets a phone call.

"I'll have to go in first thing in the morning."

"Oh..."

"I'm sorry baby..."

"No don't worry it's okay. I'll get your stuff together."

"I can do it," he reaches for his crutches but I stop him.

"Spencer Reid, let me take care of you." I get up and go into the bedroom. I'm almost done packing his bag for him when he hobbles in and starts changing into his pajamas. I curl into his side and give him a little peck.

"I love you. Don't leave without saying goodbye."

"I won't. I promise. I love you too."

...

**Okay guys sorry for another short chapter but I really needed a filler before I could move on. The next chapter will take place between S05 E18 and S05 E19. I plan to have it edited and posted by tomorrow night at the absolute latest. Thank you all for being so patient. Also thank you to ahowell1993 for your condolences AND for reminding me that Reid needs to be shot. That's the main reason for this filler chapter. Thanks guys,**

**Leigh**


	13. Chapter 13

**_A/N- _****_And here's the next chapter. *TRIGGER WARNING*_**

**_Chapter Thirteen_**

He came through the door silently. Having just gotten off a pretty quick case in Indianapolis he didn't call first. Didn't want to wake her. When he shut the door behind him he knew something was off. Something didn't feel right. He flipped on the light and saw that there was broken glass on the floor, furniture turned over. Signs of a struggle.

"Ashleigh! I'm home!" He listened for a moment but heard nothing. Acting purely on instinct he slowly pulled his gun out of his holster, pointing it out in front of him like he's done a hundred times before during takedowns, raids, and standoffs. He slowly crept down the hallway, checking the bathroom and storage closet before descending on the bedroom. He was careful not to disturb anything. The bed was an absolute mess. This wasn't like Ashleigh at all. This is where the fight most likely started. He holstered his gun before pulling his phone out.

"Garcia. Get everyone to my apartment. Please. Something's happened."

"Okay. What's wrong?"

Reid bent down and saw blood smeared on the floor. Tracing all the way back to the living room and suddenly stopping. The sight made his stomach turn.

"Call everybody. CSI, forensics, everybody. Something's happened to Ashleigh."

...

Morgan was the first person to arrive. Not because of proximity. Because he drives like a bat out of hell when one of them is in trouble. He probably drove on the sidewalk knowing him.

"Hey kid, what is it what happened?"

"I don't know. I just walked through the door and something felt off. So I switched on the light and that's when I saw that the whole apartment was trashed. There's blood everywhere."

"Do you think-"

"No. There's not enough blood for her to have been wounded bad. But she put up one hell of a fight."

"Don't move anything-"

"Don't you think I know that Morgan! How many crime scenes have we been to?"

"Kid. Listen to me. You gotta keep your head. Now before everyone else gets here is there anything that you don't want them to see?"

"What are you talking about?"

"Your private life. Is there anything private in this apartment that you don't want us to see? Or anything that Ashleigh would be embarrassed for us to know about?"

"There's a...box. Shoebox. In the top of the closet. She smokes when I'm not home. As far as I know she has no clue that I know. She keeps other stuff in there too."

"Other stuff?"

"Oh for the love of God Morgan. It's bedroom stuff."

"Ohhh gotcha. Nothing you mentioned is bad. I mean so what she keeps cigarettes in the closet?"

"Morgan, its not cigarettes. Can you...get it out for me? They'll probably want to look in both of our cars..."

"And a federal agent having weed in his house or car wouldn't go over well?"

"That's what I'm thinking."

"I got your back kid."

He disappears into the bedroom and comes out with a small canister in his hand, shoving it down in his pocket.

"I left everything else. We can't disturb the scene too much. But I think we can make an exception for this."

"Thanks."

...

After two hours, and a cognitive interview, Reid gets in an SUV with Hotch and Morgan. Rossi, JJ and Prentiss are following behind them back to the office.

"Forensics found multiple sets of DNA in the apartment. Most of the samples will come back to the two of you, but we might get lucky and find a match."

"What kind of DNA, Hotch?"

"Let's cross that bridge when we get the results back. I need your head in this Reid. I know it's personal. Tell me, is there anybody that might have a vendetta against you?"

"It would have to be someone that we put away."

"You have an eidetic memory. Try to remember the takedowns you've led point on first. You stay back and run point at the station most times so I'll have Garcia compile a list of all the take downs you've been on. We can start there."

"Could they tell how long she's been gone?"

"It couldn't have been more than a few hours. Blood was still fresh. We've gotten road blocks set up at the state line. If the unsub tries to get out with her we'll catch him." He pulls in to the BAU and everyone piles out of the car.

"Thanks, Hotch. Let's find her."

...

Reid was pacing around the conference room running his hand through his hair every few minutes when JJ came in holding an evidence bag with a piece of paper inside.

"What does this mean?" She hands the note to him and he reads it in seconds.

"I know who the unsub is." He runs out of the room down the hall to Garcia's office.

"Guys. It's Adam."

"Adam? Multiple personality Adam?"

"More like Amanda. I read the note. It has phrases in it that are word for word what was said in those interviews."

"But why would she-"

"Because she thinks Reid is responsible for taking Adam away from her. Someone she swore to protect. That's why she took Ashleigh. Someone he swore to protect." Hotch had that look in his eye. Garcia was typing furiously before stopping with a gasp.

"Adam was released two months ago. He currently resides...in the same building as Reid."

"Why were we not notified that he had been released?"

"I can't say Sir."

"Good work Garcia. Reid, you come with me to the apartment. I want everyone else to stay put until we have something else."

...

Reid's stomach was in knots the entire drive to his apartment building. As he expected, Adams apartment was vacant. They found enough proof that he took Ashleigh though...there were pictures of her everywhere. Her and Reid. Taking walks, at the store. There were even pictures of them no doubt taken from the fire escape. Then he found something truly disturbing. Pictures of her asleep. She's curled up in bed alone, wearing his old academy sweats.

"Reid, this just proves that he was afraid to break in with you around."

"I shouldn't have moved her in with me. She had a room mate. I was selfish and wanted her with me. Even though I'm constantly gone."

"You can't think like that. You need to think like Adam."

"No. I need to think like Amanda. She's calling the shots."

...

They return back to the BAU and the first thing Reid notices is JJ's somber face.

"What is it? What happened?"

"You got another letter. This time with a video."

He takes off toward Garcia's office and locks the door behind him so nobody else can get in to stop him.

"Show it to me."

"You don't need to see this."

"No. I want you to show it to me."

Garcia bows her head in defeat and pushes a key, playing the video.

**_*TRIGGER WARNING*_**

She's tied to a bed. He's all over her.

"Don't touch me you sick son of a Bitch!"

"Tell him to save you." He slaps her hard across the face and there are tears streaming down her swollen cheeks.

"Say it!"

"No!" She blinks away her tears and stares him straight in the face and that's when the horror begins.

"Don't let him watch!" She's thrashing and trying to headbutt Adam to no avail. Her eyes are wide and she looks directly at the camera.

"Spencer don't watch! Please don't let him watch this!" Her mouth is then duct taped and the only sound is her muffled screams. But she is looking the unsub in the eye the entire time.

**_*TRIGGER WARNING*_**

...

By the time the video cuts off Reid looks like he is made of stone and storms out of Garcia's office, going to the bathroom and locking himself in, trying to regain his composure. He reaches up and wipes the tears from his face. Turning on the faucet he rinses his face off and goes back to work. When he exits the bathroom he finds Morgan waiting outside the door.

"Hey, you okay?"

"I just watched my girlfriend be brutally raped. There's no telling where she is. From the video there's at LEAST two unsubs. Oh and to top it all off it mimicked our first time. In length, activity, and order. Only this time she was chained to a bed. So no, I'm not okay right now."

"When did you?..."

"A month ago. We've been on four cases since then. Eight days. That's how much time we've had together since that night."

"We will find her kid. I'm sure of it. Now get back in that conference room and do what you do best. Decode those notes, and remember every takedown you've been responsible for. Get the list to Garcia and have her cross check."


	14. Chapter 14

**_A/N: _****_Thank you to ahowell1993 and tannerose5 for reviewing! Please everyone take the time to say something!_**

**_*THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS A POSSIBLE TRIGGER WARNING*_**

**_Chapter Fourteen_**

I struggle against my chains but it's no use. I hear running in the hallway so I scream.

"Spencer! I'm in here! Spencer, help!"

The door swings open but I can't see anything because of the blindfold.

"Spencer help me, Spencer save me." A voice mocks me and the man starts to laugh.

"Did you really think that your boyfriend was here? Too bad. I'm not done with you."

…

I finally come to and I'm having cool water poured over me.

"You sure are a filthy little whore."

"Who are you?"

"My name is Amanda, I'm trying to keep you alive."

…

I hear them before I see them. They're here. Multiple sets of footsteps echo down the long hallway. Every few seconds I hear someone shout.

"FBI...clear!" Before moving on. My hands are chained above my head in the center of the room. I can't even scream for them because I am gagged. It's just a muffled cry. All the sudden I hear the door fly open.

"FBI! Oh my god. I've got her." Spencer. I breathe a sigh of relief before he makes quick work of undoing my chains. I collapse into his arms and that's when my dam bursts and the tears begin to flow.

"Somebody get me a medic." His voice is strained and thick with emotion as he pulls the gag out of my mouth and removes the blindfold. He crushes me in his arms and I can't feel anything but the overwhelming sense of relief.

"I was so scared."

"Shhh. I'm here now."

"Please. Get me out of here."

"I can't move you until the medics get down here."

"Where is-"

"Morgan went to get help. The rest of the team is searching the building."

"Oh Spence. I..."

"I know. Now shh. I have to lie you down now okay? I've got to stop the bleeding." He lays me on my back and looks over me. I'm covered in shallow cuts enough to need stitches, but not enough to bleed out. That was the point I think. I take one of his hands in both of mine.

"Stop. Please." He bows his head in defeat and covers me with his jacket. I manage to halfway curl up between his legs. He drapes one arm around my shoulders. The other rests on his leg. Gun pointed at the floor. I sob into his neck as he tried to soothe me until we hear foot steps. He automatically tenses and raises his gun to point it at the door. I look up and fear consumes me. It's one of the men. And he has a knife. No doubt he came here to tie up loose ends. Spencer jumps up and bounds to the door, tackling the man. His gun skids across the floor and I reach out and grab it. I can't stand up. Hell, I can barely hold my head up. Suddenly another figure appears and bile rises in my throat. He comes up behind Spencer and I scream.

"Spence! Behind you!"

The man gets off one shot before dropping to his knees. What the hell? Morgan comes out of nowhere and cuffs him, kicking his gun across the floor.

"You missed." Spencer's voice is filled with venom. It's a little frightening but I brush it off.

"No I didn't. Got him in the leg. We want them all alive, kid."

"Yeah." As if coming back to reality he crosses the room back to me. My head is pounding and I feel dizzy. I can hear the medics coming. If I could just stay awake a little longer...

...

I wake up disoriented. The lights are too bright. Where am I? I think I'm moving. I roll my head to the side and see an EMT.

"Spencer? Where is he? Where's Spencer?" I try to sit up but I'm pushed back down.

"It's okay. He's taking them in to the BAU and as soon as they're locked down he will be here."

"But why- "

"They told him it would be best. Men aren't allowed to be present while they run certain...tests...Spence told me to come with you."

"Thank you JJ...is he okay? He was shot. In the arm."

"What are you talking about?"

"When they came to get me after you all stormed the place. They found me with Spencer and he was shot in the arm during the fight."

"He never said anything about being shot." She reaches in her pocket and pulls out her phone, sending a quick text before taking my hand. I decide that maybe he didn't get shot afterall.

"We're almost to the hospital. I told Spence that I would stay with you the whole time. It'll be okay."

"What kind of test do I need that Spencer can't be with me for?"

"They will have to do a rape kit." Her voice is soft and I can see some unnamed emotion cross her face.

"But why do they need to do that?" I start to panic and she puts her other hand on my shoulder.

"For evidence."

"They recorded it though..."

"Nobody needs to know that. It was Morgan's idea. This way you can decide. If you don't want that tape to go outside of this team then it won't. But we do need another form of evidence."

"Okay...did Spencer...what did he say about all of this? You didn't let him watch did you?"

"I didn't show it to him. You'll have to find out from him if he saw it without my knowing though."

"I really hope he didn't."

...

I'm lying flat on my back on a bed in a gown. There's three nurses working around me and JJ squeezes my hand every minute or so. I can't even open my eyes. It's all I can do to fight back tears. They say they'll have to stitch me up and do scans and x rays after this. But they can't do any of that until they've gotten DNA off of me. It'll be at least three hours before I can see Spencer. I wonder if he's here waiting or if he's back at the BAU.

...

Prentiss is at the hospital, waiting for the unsub that was shot to get out of surgery. The rest of the team stands outside of the interrogation rooms that are across from each other. Peering into the windows.

"I think Reid should go in with John Doe over there. Take Morgan in with you. Dave, your with me. Let's see what we can get out of Adam."

Reid slips through the door and sits across from Hollis Walker.

"Well hello there Dr. Reid. I was beginning to wonder when you would grace me with your presence."

"Cut the crap. We both already know you're guilty. I want to know why?"

"You don't know it was me. Your men snatched me up off the street."

"Ashleigh can identify you."

"Oh but that would just prolong her suffering wouldn't it? You are a very active advocate for mental health. Surely you wouldn't want to cause her any PTSD?"

"You let me worry about her mental health. Tell me, why did you do it? What is your motivation?"

"I have none. I'm just a pawn in a much bigger game."

"Who is pulling the strings?"

"I've never met him."

Reid turns to walk out the door, sick of listening to this.

"Don't run off just yet. I hear rape kits take at least two hours. Hers will no doubt take longer. I always thought you were gay. But I guess she turned you. She is delicious afterall"

"Son of a Bitch" he turns and lunges across the table so fast that Morgan almost doesn't catch him.

...

I'm in my own room now. They said I've got three broken ribs, a concussion, and they had to put stitches in five out of 13 cuts. I hear Spencer in the hallway.

"Where is she? Where's Ashleigh?" A few seconds later he is rushing through the door.

"Oh thank God. There you are." He crosses the room in three steps and pulls a chair over to my bedside. I take his hand in mine and the tears begin to flow again.

"Oh no baby no." He clambers up into bed and sits beside me, I lay my head over on his shoulder. He rubs soft circles on my arm and kisses the top of my head, careful not to touch my torso. I sob into his shoulder and he tries to soothe me for I don't know how long until he speaks.

"I'm sorry baby I tried to make it back by the time you got a room but we just..."

"No. Don't apologize. You needed to be there. JJ took perfectly good care of me."

"They say you're refusing pain medication."

"I knew it would put me to sleep. I wanted to see you first." I shift and wrap my arms around him. He winces when my hands fall on the arm opposite of me.

"What is it?"

"Nothing major. Bullet grazed me."

"Have you had it looked at?"

"No not yet. I came straight to you."

"Please get checked out."

"I'll go when you take your medication."

"Will you take yours if they give it to you?"

"No. I don't take narcotics"

"Some day you will have to tell me why."

"Let's just get through this one." He gets up and goes out to the hallway, returning with a nurse who hands me a pill. Spencer brings me a cup of water and I take my medicine dutifully, opening my mouth to show him it's gone.

"Now go get your arm looked at. I'll be here when you get back."

...

I wake up to Spencer rubbing soft circles on the back of my hand which he holds tightly. He's running his free hand through my hair. My eyes flutter open and I find his face is buried in the mattress. His back quivering. I take my free hand and lay it on his shoulder. He raises his head to look at me and sniffles, then gives me a shy smile.

"You're awake."

"Did you get checked out?"

"Yes. Just a few stitches."

"Did they give you any medication?"

"Hydrocodone."

"Did you take it?" I raise an eyebrow at him hopefully.

"No. I don't need pain medication."

"Spencer-"

"I'm fine and I don't need any narcotics." He snaps for a moment before coming back to me.

"I'm sorry Ashleigh. Let's not do this here okay? It's not something I'm proud of."

"I won't push you. So did you get anything out of them?"

"Nothing we can use yet. But don't worry, we have plenty to hold them. I just want to find out whose pulling the strings."

"How long was I gone?"

"Three days, seventeen hours, twenty six minutes and fifty four seconds passed from the time I set foot in the apartment until I laid eyes on you in that building."

"Did they...tell you everything?"

"Not everything. Technically they can't release your information to civilians without your consent. So we have to wait three more hours for an official report. Since Hotch is technically running point he will have access to the information. And since I am on the same team as Hotch, all case information is seen by me as well."

"Did you watch?"

He drops his head and for a moment I am angry with him. That feeling is drowned out by the feeling of sadness. And fear. He will never be able to look at me the same now.

"I had to!" He knows how I'm feeling and now is trying to make me feel better. "I had to in order to profile the unsub. Without an eidetic memory and a personal connection there are pieces that the rest of the team wouldn't be able to put together. There are certain things he did that nobody but us would know the significance of. I swear I didn't mean to cause you any pain."

"I'm just glad you found me."

"I love you." He kisses my forehead, making me smile.

"I love you too."

"You should try to eat something."

"Can I put some clothes on? I'm freezing and I hate this gown."

...

I'm laying back in bed wearing Spencer's pajamas. He offered to send someone to the apartment but I decided that could wait. Luckily he had his go bag with him. He's finally resting. I got him to lay down with me and he's wrapped around me like a vine. His leg is in between mine, my head, which is on his good arm lays next to his chest and his other arm is draped gently over my stomach. I hear footsteps and look up to see Hotch standing in the doorway.

"Please don't wake him, took me forever to get him to sleep."

"Didn't plan on it. I've watched him for the past four days. I came to check on you. How are you feeling?"

"Sore. But I'll live. How are you and your son doing?"

"Better, Jack is adjusting. Thank you for asking."

"No problem."

"We don't have to take a statement now, but once you're released we will need to do a cognitive interview and put some kind of statement on the record."

"I know. What is a cognitive interview?"

"It's a tool we use where a victim walks us through the experience. You were gone for three days so we may need to do it in intervals. Just so we don't overwhelm you."

"Is Spencer doing the interview?"

"He can. If that would make you more comfortable."

"Umm...no. I just, I don't want to relive it with him. I don't want him to know everything."

"I'll have Emily or JJ do it then. Tell him I think it's best for a woman to do it. He will understand that."

"Thank you."

"Anytime. Is there anything you need?"

"For my boyfriend to take his pain medication and stop putting on a brave face."

"Good luck with that. He got full on shot in the knee and only took Tylenol for it."

"Why is that?"

"That's a conversation for the two of you to have. But until you do just know that he has a good reason for just about everything he does. This job takes a lot out of a person but you learn some pretty damn good lessons in the process. I should really be getting back to headquarters. Have Reid call me when he wakes up. You should get some sleep too."

"Thank you again Hotch, for everything."

"See you tomorrow." He smiles before ducking out in to the hallway and for the first time in a week, I relax into Spencer's arms and almost immediately fall asleep.

**_Remember to review!_**


	15. Chapter 15

**_A/N-_********_Thank you to ahowell1993 and tannerose5 for reviewing! Also thank you to those who pointed out my slip in the previous chapter. I've went back and fixed it. In the next chapter, we will finally find out who the other two unsubs are. Please review! _**

**_Chapter Fifteen_**

I wake up before Spencer and I'm hurting all over. So bad that I can't stop the silent tears from streaming down my face. I try really hard not to move or make a sound. I really don't want to wake him. That doesn't last long though. He moves in his sleep, brushing my side which makes me gasp. This wakes him up instantly. His eyes shoot open in panic and he grasps at my hand.

"What is it? What hurts?"

"Everything." I sob into his chest. He gingerly slides out of bed and storms out into the hallway. A few moments later he enters the room on the heels of a doctor.

"I'm telling you she's in pain. Somebody needs to be more accurate when administering medication. Controlled substances HAVE to be given on a strict schedule."

"Dr. Reid. I don't think it's the schedule. She needs stronger medication."

"Try Vicodin. It's stronger."

"Dr. Reid. Can I speak to you out in the hallway?"

"Sure."

...

After about twenty minutes the return, followed by Hotch. The air is tense and I can tell they've gotten into a disagreement. The doctor puts something into my IV.

"This is dilaudid. It will help more with the pain." Spencer let's out a breath and Hotch gives him a pointed look, to which he drops his head. He plops down on the foot of my bed and starts flipping through a stack of papers.

"Official report." He answers my silent question. Makes sense I guess. All the sudden he stops and turns to the doctor.

"Can the three of us have a moment alone?"

"Give me five minutes. I just need to finish checking her wounds. You may want to go out in the hallway. I've got to look under her clothes."

"Of course," Hotch stands and motions with his hand, "Reid. Come with me. We need to collect Morgan."

She pulls the sheet off of me and helps me out of my clothes so she can examine me.

"Did you include everything in your report?"

"Yes. I had to. Why? Is there some reason I should withhold information?"

"I just...I guess I'm embarrassed to have everything laid out."

"Well ma'am. This team is very professional."

"I know that. I live with one of them."

"What?"

"Dr. Reid is my boyfriend."

"Well that explains why he has been even more erratic than I'm used to."

"Yeah. That's him." I sink back into the bed after she helps me redress.

...

As she opens the door to walk out of the room Spencer, Hotch, and Morgan slip into the room. He sits on the bed beside me before turning the pages in his hand.

"Okay now what's all the panic about?"

"She got 187 stitches all over."

"Your IQ."

"And how many words can I read per minute?" He looks up at Morgan.

"Twenty-thousand. Why?"

"She got twenty stitches in a very personal area." He hands the papers to Morgan who's eyes go wide.

"Those sick sons of bitches. When we go back to headquarters I'm gonna turn the cameras off. And I won't catch Reid this time."

They talk for a few more minutes before Hotch and Morgan leave. Spencer has to leave in an hour to meet them back at headquarters but I just want him to stay. I lay my head on his shoulder and cling to him.

"When can I leave?"

"Your doctor says tomorrow."

"I don't want you to go. Can't you talk to them? Have them let me go with you?"

"Let's see how you walk first." He takes my hand and helps me out of the bed. It's painful but I manage to slowly cross the room with just a little bit of support. We walk back and forth a few times before he sits me down in the chair beside the bed.

"Okay. I'll go get the doctor. If anyone asks I'm taking you out for reasons relating to the case. And you will not be on your feet."

"Thank you Spencer."

"Be right back." He kisses the top of my head which makes me grin and strides out of the room.

The doctor comes back in. She's obviously irritated.

"You're certain you can function?"

"With the help of Dr. Reid, I can manage. I just want to get out of this hospital."

"You want out of this hospital and into round the clock security at the BAU headquarters?"

"They're my family..."

"Very well. I'll release you. But you must come back if you have any issues."

"Okay thank you!"

...

After filling my prescriptions were driving back to the BAU when Spencer's phone rings.

"It's Garcia, babe."

"Answer it. Just put her on speaker."

"Hey Garcia. What's up?"

"Just checking in on you and Reid. The rest of the team is back."

"We should be there in ten minutes."

"We? You're out of the hospital?"

"Yeah. I'm not the best patient. Spence said that Hotch knows."

"Oh. So is he dropping you off or..."

"No. I don't want to go to the apartment. And he doesn't want me alone. Not yet."

"I get that. Do you need someone to go and get you some clothes?"

"I was going to ask when we got there."

"I'll have JJ go. Is there anything specific you need?"

"I'll text her." Spencer speaks up.

"Hey boy wonder! How's the arm?"

"Alright. We're pulling in. See you in a few."

"Garcie out."

"She always makes me smile." I rub my thumb over the back of Spencer's hand.

"Yeah me too." He gives me a shy smile before stepping out of the SUV and coming to my side to help me out. We get up to the BAU floor and everyone is waiting by the elevator for us. Spencer ushers me quickly into Garcia's office and sits me down on the couch.

"Do you need anything?"

"Water?"

"I think I can manage that." He tries to get up but I wrap my arms around his neck and pull him down to me. I kiss him. Really kiss him for the first time since before he left for Indiana. His hands are feather light on my face as I crush my mouth to his.

"Ahem. Pretty boy..." Morgan's sing song mocking tone rings through the room. He gives me another small peck before pulling away.

"I'll be right back."

"Thank you."

Garcia comes in just as they are walking out.

"I know it's not the most comfortable arrangement. But Reid didn't want you right in the middle of all the chaos so we figured this would be a better set up."

"It's about a thousand times better than a hospital. Don't worry." I start to giggle but quickly stop and wince.

"JJ was going to go get your clothes when she goes to get takeout for everyone but I can send her on. If you want to get out of Reid's sweats."

"No. I-I'm okay." I fold my arms around myself and put my chin down.

"Oh...okay. Why don't you try to get some rest? I keep the lights dimmed in here and I had Morgan move the couch so you could kind of have your own little corner."

"Thanks Garcia." I manage a smile and Spencer comes back with a bottle of water. He sits down beside me and takes two bottles out of his pocket.

"Take your medicine and then you need to get some sleep." He hands me two pills and shoves the bottles back into his pocket. I take my medicine and lay back on the pillow that's at the end of the couch. He takes the blanket from off the back of the couch and drapes it over me, then kneels to kiss me.

"Is there anything you specifically want from home? I don't plan on you staying here for more than a couple of days just until we find the fourth unsub. And don't worry we're close."

"Are you going?"

"JJ and Emily offered, but I can go with them if you want me to."

"Just your throw from the back of the couch."

"What clothes do you want? I think your usual jeans would be uncomfortable. And if I had it my way you would spend the next week taking it easy so I thought about pajamas but JJ acted all weird and said I should ask you first cause she would be pissed if Will only brought pajamas when she asked for clothes and I just-" I put my hand on his cheek to quiet him.

"You're rambling. And JJ was right, I don't want pajamas." I see a flash disappointment before he pushes it away.

"Can you bring me some of yours? Sweats would probably be best since it's kinda cool in here. And a sweatshirt?" He smiles down at me and kisses my cheek.

"Sure thing. Get some sleep. Love you."

"Love you too," he gets up and when he has his hand on the door I speak up.

"Oh and Spence?" He stops with his hand on the door.

"Could you get some a pair of your boxers? I'm not digging these mesh panties and I don't want to go commando."

"Yes baby." His voice rises an octave and he slips out the door. Garcia turns her chair around and gets up to walk out.

"Just so you know, I think you two are so perfect for each other. So adorable. None of us have ever seen him like this before. It's refreshing to say the least."

"Thank you." I give her a shy smile before she walks out and I'm left alone with my thoughts.

...

Reid rips the crime scene tape off of the door. JJ and Prentiss exchange a glance but quickly brush it off. He goes straight to the bedroom and they hang back.

JJ goes to start flipping furniture back over.

"What are you doing?"

"Prentiss, it's already been processed. We've got to help Spence get all of this cleaned up. Ashleigh doesn't need to see all of this."

"Right." She bends down to pick up some books on the floor and starts stacking them on the island in the kitchen.

"I'll just let him take care of his books. Don't want to give him an aneurysm."

"Good point. I'm going to check on him." She goes back in the bedroom and finds him angrily stripping the bed down.

"Hey Spence," she leans against the wall and watches him intently.

"Hey." He wads the sheets up and shoves them in a trash bag.

"I was thinking, maybe Emily and I can clean up here. If you want us to. That way you can get back to Ash."

"I just don't want her coming home to this."

"Just let us take care of everything. You get her some things together and go on back to headquarters."

"Thanks JJ." He goes over to the dresser and starts pulling out clothes.

"So, did you talk to her?"

"Yeah. She said she um...wants my clothes. But you already knew that, didn't you?" He cocks his head to the side and smirks at her.

"I had a hunch."

"So why couldn't you just tell me?"

"Because, you've got to keep her talking. If not she will shut down. Even if it's little things like asking for water or a certain pair of pants. She has to know that she can tell you when she needs something."

"But she already knows that."

"Just reassure her." She bends and picks a pillow up off the floor. No doubt knocked off during the struggle since there's nothing on it.

"Hey Spence. Is this your pillow?"

"Yeah why?"

"Take it to her. Trust me."

"Thanks JJ. I think I've got everything she needs. I'm gonna get back."

…

I wake up and I'm hurting but calm. I quickly realize that Spencer has been here. The blanket I asked for is draped over me and he even brought me his pillow. I smile to myself and sit up. I see Garcia across the room, typing away.

"Whatcha doing?"

"Narrowing down Reid's list. Not very hard just time consuming. I have to go in and flag all of the cases that he's been on take down for. Then cross check and filter out the take downs that he's had a specific hand in somehow. All of it has to be done manually considering there's not actually a "program" for this kind of thing so I'm winging it."

"Spencer has said you're the best."

"Oh, my dear that would be a compliment if I didn't know the good doctor so well. Mr. Technophobe also thinks Hotch is good with computers." She snorts which earns a giggle from me.

"Have you seen Spencer?"

"He came in about an hour ago, brought your things. He wanted to give you your medicine but I told him not to wake you so he left it with me."

She turns around and passes me two pills which I accept.

"Is there a shower anywhere around here?"

"One of us will have to take you but yeah there's one in the training building."

"Can I...can you call Spencer for me?"

"Yeah."

"Thanks."

A few moments later he eases through the door and comes to sit next to me.

"Hey baby, how are you feeling?"

"As expected." I lay my head over his shoulder and I can feel him relax.

"Is there anything I can do to help?"

"I really need to take a shower. I just got wiped off at the hospital and I just feel dirty."

"Yeah. Come on I'll take you." He gets me up and drapes an arm around me, carrying a bag in his other hand. We go across a little bridge connecting two buildings and end up in what almost looks like a gym but it's huge with training equipment, mats, the works. He brings me over to a locker room and locks the door behind us.

"It's the middle of the night so here's hardly anybody here right now but just in case."

"What's your whole team doing here in the middle of the night?"

"Drinking lots of coffee and taking miniature naps in intervals on Hotch and Rossi's couches."

"Oh." I shift from side to side and he gives me a confused glance.

"Baby I swear I'm not locking the door for anything like that. I just don't want anyone walking in on you."

"No, it's not that I just...can you help me?"

"Of corse." He carefully helps me out of my clothes and strips down to his underwear before stepping in behind me. He washes my hair and back for me, avoiding the cut on the back of my head. I relax against him and close my eyes when he's done.

"Thank you for saving me Spencer."

"I'm just sorry I didn't find you sooner. A couple more days and you might have...if you had died because I was too slow I would never forgive myself."

"I didn't. I'm alive." I turn and put my hands on his face. "I'm alive because of you." I kiss him softly.

"Let's get you dried off." He smiles and turns the shower off. He helps me dress before sitting me on a bench and drying my hair tenderly with a towel. He leads me back to the BAU floor and instead of dropping me off at Garcia's office he leads me out to the bullpen. We walk around the top and over to their round table room.

"Hey kid, we were just about to come looking for you."

"Sorry. It's on me. I wanted to get cleaned up and Spencer came with me."

"No worries. We were just about to collaborate."

"What do we have?"

"Okay so Adam moved here to make contact with you originally. The first few weeks he was here there was no stalking or picture taking so we think he was living in the same building working up the nerve. Creepy yeah, but innocent enough."

"So those guys reached out to him?"

"That's what we're thinking. But how would they know about eachother. There's got to be somebody pulling the strings. And it has to be that third unsub. We just have to get him to talk and figure out who he is. Either that or wait for DNA and prints to come back cause he ain't talking."

"Has he been released from the hospital?"

"Yeah. We've got him in 6 right now. Figured you'd be our best bet."

"I never got a good look at the guy. Is he really that squirrelly?"

"Nope. We don't want you to relate to him. This is a typical alpha male."

"You want me to bait him."

"I see. Okay I'm going."

"No. Don't go in just yet. Let him sweat a little. JJ and Prentiss are almost back with dinner anyways." Rossi raises his eyebrows at Spencer and he nods his head.

"Okay." Everyone sits around the table.

"Now remember. You can't go in there all puffed up, Reid. You gotta keep your head in there." Morgan gives him a serious look. Even without the look I know he's serious. This is only the second time I've ever heard him address Spencer as anything other than 'Kid' or 'Pretty Boy'.

"I'm not puffed up."

"Not right now cause you got your girl with you. But you've been walking around that interrogation hall puffed up. Just go in like you normally would."

"Sacrificial lamb that got sent in by his team of alphas." Rossi chimes in.

"Got it," Spencer nods and I hold his hand under the table.

"Don't worry we're going to end this," Hotch promises me.

"So, what are you all doing here this late anyways?"

"When someone hurts one of us, it's personal." JJ and Emily come into the room holding takeout boxes and drinks for everyone. We eat and I'm starting to feel a whole lot better. I'm still sore but it's better now that I've showered and Spencer helped change my bandages. He holds my hand in his the entire time and fumbles helplessly with his chopsticks.

"Seven years and this kid STILL can't use chopsticks." Morgan and Hotch poke fun at him and he laughs.

"Haha you guys are hilarious. JJ did you not get any forks?"

"Don't worry Spence, we just wanted a good laugh," Emily takes a set of wrapped utensils out of her jacket pocket and tosses them across the table to him.

"Oh, by the way we've got the apartment ready, whenever you want to go home Ashleigh."

"I'm staying with Spencer." He grips my hand tighter.

"You can stay here as long as you need to Ashleigh. Maybe after you've eaten JJ can take you out for a cognitive interview?" Hotch eyes Spencer who clenches his jaw but says nothing.

"Yeah. I can do that."


	16. Chapter 16

**_A/N-_********_Thank you to ahowell1993 as always for being so quick on the draw with reviewing. Please everyone review. I would really appreciate it. _**

**_THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS A TRIGGER WARNING READ AT YOUR OWN RISK. I WILL PUT A TRIGGER WARNING RIGHT BEFORE THE OFFENDING CONTENT AS WELL._**

**_Chapter Seventeen_**

They said I can move around freely on the BAU floor so I tell Garcia I'm going to take a walk. The men confessed to having more bodies so Hotch and Prentiss went to check it out. Spencer, Rossi, Morgan, and JJ are in the interrogation rooms. I'm walking around the bullpen and I find Spencer's desk. The best way to describe him is organized chaos. But I know his rhythm. Taped to his computer is a wallet sized picture of us. In a frame on his desk is another of me. Next to one of his mother. There's sticky notes all around the dividers and to anyone else it would look random. But they're different colors for different things he needs to remember. There's stacks of case files on his desk and one book. I find three more in the drawer and smile to myself. I decide that's enough show and tell and go in search of the restrooms. When I'm passing the interrogation rooms I hear shouting. I know I shouldn't but I can't help myself and I slip inside.

"Whatever man. Reid, stay with him. Just watch him and don't say anything stupid."

"Got it."

Morgan walks out and finds me sitting in front of the window.

"When did you get in here?"

"I heard you shouting."

"Just setting the trap. Don't worry. He's got this under control."

"I wasn't worried at all." I turn my attention back to the scene playing out before me. Spencer is staring intently at the mystery man who is doing his best to intimidate him.

"How's the girlfriend, agent?"

"Strong."

"Oh, so she wears the pants."

"You could say that."

"Tell me 'doctor', do you let that girl have clothes? I mean we had you under surveillance for two months and barely saw her in anything other than yours."

"It's a common occurrence."

"Are you angry doctor Reid?"

"Why would I be angry? My partner left me in here with a psychopath. No doubt went to take one of his famous breaks."

"You scared?"

"No. You're handcuffed to the table that's bolted to the floor. I'm not."

"Oh we've got a genius on our hands."

"Well I have an IQ of 187 and I can read 20,000 words per minute. So yeah I'm a genius. But you already knew everything I said. If you didn't you wouldn't have given Ashleigh the amount of stitches that you did."

**_TRIGGER WARNING_**

"Oh is that why you're in here looking like a pouty teenager? Because I touched what's yours? Because I raped her?"

"You didn't just rape her you violated her with a box cutter. I think that crosses the line don't you?"

"Is that what she told you?"

"It was in the reports."

"Well that's not how she got those 20 stitches." He leans in close to Spencer.

"That was just foreplay."

I bow my head and Morgan curses, laying a hand on my shoulder.

"I can take you back?"

"No. I just want to stay with Spencer."

"Okay. If that was foreplay then how'd you do it?"

"Metal rod."

He starts to jump up and before I realize what I'm doing I fling the door open and he turns around wide eyed screaming "Morgan back the fuck off this son of a Bitch is mine!" Before he realizes that it's me.

"Ashleigh..."

"Spencer don't." He comes out of the room and shuts the door behind him.

"I just...wanted to go for a walk and I heard Morgan yelling so I came to look and...if you don't want me here I can go back."

"I...are you sure you need to be here?"

"I just want to stay with you. The last time you were gone..."

"Okay. But if it gets to be too much then Morgan is taking you straight back to Garcia."

"Alright." Rossi and JJ come out of the other two rooms looking frustrated.

"They won't admit to anything except for grabbing her and holding her hostage."

"After talking to that guy I think that may have been all they did anyways. JJ can you go light a fire under the guys in forensics? We really need to get a match for him."

"You got it. Consider the fire lit." She turns on her heel and disappears. Spencer kisses the top of my head.

"I'm okay I promise. Now go on."

He slides back into the room and the guy smirks at him.

"Is the little woman over her tantrum?"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Oh you know how women are. Crazy aren't they?"

"I don't use that word. But nevertheless she is okay. I'd like to know more about you?"

"Oh don't worry I don't have a slight against you. Those mindless puppets approached me."

"For what?"

"Oh don't worry they just wanted to scare her. Chain her up somewhere and leave her for you to find. I had other plans."

"Are you admitting to attempted murder?"

"In a round about way. I know there's no way I'm getting out of this so why deny it? I guess you aren't the only smart one."

"Look at you. The intelligence of a ten year old."

"Spencer Spencer. Help me. Spencer please. He will find you. He will be here any minute. But you weren't were you? Oh she thought you were. I sent those idiots running up and down the hallways shouting. Made her think there was a raid every 12 hours. What is it called? Psychological torture? She thought her savior was on the way but he wasn't. That's why I put the gag in anytime I wasn't with her. To make her harder to find."

"So you took the gag out when you violated her?"

"To hear her screams. She's very responsive." He shrugs and sits back in the chair, looking straight through the window.

"Aren't you sweetie?"

**_END TRIGGER WARNING_**

Bile rises in my throat and I look up at Morgan.

"Can I go outside?"

"Yeah sure. Do you want me to switch out with him?"

"No that's okay. I just need some air. I've got my phone now so I'll just text him. He wants this guy really bad. Can you take me out?"

"Yeah lets go."

We get outside and Morgan leads me to his car.

"I take it you want me to take you to get some smokes?"

"What makes you say that?"

"You've been biting your nails, a common practice for smokers who are trying to quit."

"So?"

"And when we were in the apartment the first time Reid had me hide your stash. You had a half empty pack of cigarettes in that box too. Which I pocketed before he could see because I'm sure he doesn't even know you've started again."

"Do you still have them?"

He reaches in his drivers side door and tosses them to me, followed by a lighter.

"Yep. Now that I've scratched your back, tell me why all the secrecy?"

"I didn't start back. Spencer thinks I quit cold turkey. But I didn't. Not all the way. I just get stressed out sometimes when he's gone."

"Your secret is safe with me. But you should tell him. He probably already knows and just hasn't said anything. We try not to profile the people we're close to."

"Makes sense."

"Now hurry up with that cigarette. We'll have to stop and brush your teeth on the way back. Maybe some hand lotion."

"Good thinking."

We get back to the interrogation rooms and Spencer has this guy agitated. Morgan makes me go back to Garcia's office to wait for them.

...

Spencer comes in a half hour later, his hair is disheveled and he's pissed. He sits down beside me and puts his face in his hands.

"I am so sorry. So so sorry. Ashleigh I swear I will spend the rest of my life making this up to you."

"Spencer. Baby it's not your fault." I rub his back for a few minutes before he sits up.

"So, who was that guy?"

"Daniel Garner. Is the first John Doe."

"The one who was shot?"

"Yeah. The leader is Liam Costello. He's been killing for a while, Hotch said they are finding bodies left and right in the field behind the warehouse."

"Oh."

"I've got to be in the round table room in ten minutes. Hotch and Prentiss are on their way back from the warehouse. You can come with me if you want to."

"Garcia are you staying here?"

"Yeah, I'm still working on this list."

"Spence can I stay here? I promise I won't wander off."

"Yeah. Yeah you probably don't need to be there anyways we have to go over what we've gotten out of Mr. Personality." He kisses me on the forehead before walking out the door. I go and sit next to Garcia.

"How do you watch so many screens at once?"

"Well the ones that are up top are mostly for displaying evidence. Sometimes I use them for other things but not generally. And each monitor on the desk is for a specific task. Except for my main computer which I use for pretty much everything."

"Oh." Is all I can manage as I look around at all of the screens.

"What do you do?"

"I work from home part time. Nothing major. I go to school too."

"What for?"

"Well right now I'm just taking literature classes online through the tech school."

"English major?"

"Yeah."

"So you're a bookworm?"

"You could say that."

"So tell me, how did our good doctor win your heart?"

"Umm...he was just himself."

"Just himself? Oh don't tell me he spent the first date rattling off statistics?"

"That he did," I laugh. "I think it's adorable. But not as adorable as him reading to me. He gets so excited."

"That's sweet."

"Yeah." I blush and look down.

"You know, he's one of the best shots on the team now. The only person who can beat him is Morgan."

"Really?"

"Yeah. About two months ago he started hitting that gun range every single day. Spends hours down there. So you're 22?"

"Yeah. That's kind of a sore spot."

"How come?"

"Well. By the time Spencer was 22 he had already been in the FBI for a year. Look at me. Living off my boyfriend and working part time."

"So get another job." She winks at me and goes back to typing.

"Like what?"

"The FBI can always use bright young people."

"Oh no I couldn't be an agent."

"There are other jobs in the FBI. I mean technically all of us are agents but there's a whole plethora of career opportunities."

"I'd have to talk to Spencer about it. He would freak."

"Yeah probably," she laughs.

"I think he wants me to stay home..."

"Oh my god are you pregnant?"

"No...I'm not. But we've discussed it. You can't tell a soul."

"I won't. Lips are sealed. Oh. Text from JJ. She needs you for a cognitive."

"Where?"

"Round table room. Just meet her there and she will take you somewhere quiet." I go down the hallway and find the round table room above the bullpen. Everyone is sitting around the table and when I walk in Spencer immediately gets up and crosses the room to me.

"Hey, JJ is going to take you for a cognitive okay?"

"Alright...are you coming with us?"

"I think Hotch wants me to stay put. But if you want me to I will."

"No it's fine. Let's get this over with."

"I'll walk with you." He holds my hand and motions to JJ.

JJ nods to me and I follow her out of the room. I turn around and give Hotch a look of appreciation. To which he returns an imperceptible nod.


	17. Chapter 17

**_Thank you to ahowell1993, tannerose5, and a guest for reviewing. I will make every effort to have the next chapter posted by tomorrow night. If not then it will be Friday night. Thanks!_**

**_Chapter Nineteen_**

We're sitting in Hotch's office and Spencer is hugging me tightly.

"Just remember what you can. If it gets to be too much you can stop at any time."

"Okay..." he kisses me and turns to leave.

"Don't worry, you'll do great." JJ smiles at me reassuringly as the door clicks behind Spencer.

"Now close your eyes and picture your apartment. Tell me about right before you were taken."

"I talked to Spencer. He said he was getting ready to go on a raid. Just wanted to hear my voice. I could tell he was busy so I didn't keep him talking for long."

"Then what did you do?"

"I took a shower. Put on his sweats. I went to the bedroom and curled up on his pillow."

"Then you fell asleep?"

"Yes. And I thought Spencer came in cause I heard the door. But then I smelled cigarettes and liquor. A man laid down next to me and touched me. I thought I was having a nightmare because I couldn't move."

"Then what?"

"I fought. I tried so hard to fight back but they were too strong."

...

JJ takes Ashleigh back to Garcia and goes to find Reid.

"Well? What did she say?"

"They um...they...raped her in the apartment."

"What?"

"She told me that they blamed you..."

"Who is they?"

"Adam and the other follower were in your apartment. They took her to the third man."

"I blame me." He drops his head.

"You are not to blame for any of this."

"I apprehended Adam! I antagonized Amanda! I wasn't there!" He screams and storms out of the room, going into the interrogation room that holds Adam.

"What did you do to her you sick son of a Bitch?"

"The same thing you did to Adam! Ruined her chances of ever going home the same again!"

He flips the table over and grabs Adam by his shirt, throwing him down on the ground. Morgan rushes into the room and picks him up off of Adam, flinging him backwards and dragging him out of the room.

"Hey cool it! Kid you've got to keep your head okay? You don't want him to get off on police brutality, do you?"

"Morgan-"

"No stop it right there. I've been watching you for two months, you've been working your ass off down in that gym and at the firing range."

"I wanted to be able to protect her..."

"I get that. But you need to take a step back. She fell in love with a gentle geeky kid in a bookstore. Not some macho guy with a gun. You do NOT have to change for her. Now go back to your girl and do what you do best, be there. And take her out for a smoke. None of that six minutes stuff either. Just be there. Give her whatever she needs to get through this."

...

Spencer comes into the room looking shaken up. He wraps his arms around me and breathes deeply.

"I know you don't want to talk to me about this right now, but when you're ready I'll be right here."

"I know," I whisper against his shoulder.

"Do you want to go for a walk?"

"Yeah that sounds good."

He leads me outside and over to Morgans car, unlocking the door.

"Here. No six minutes. I'm keeping my mouth shut."

"I quit," I lie.

"Just like you don't smoke weed on the fire escape when I'm away on a case?" He raises an eyebrow at me and stifles a laugh. I take the pack out of his hand and light one.

"I hate profilers."

"Yeah we suck don't we?" That earns a laugh.

"Just a little bit." He snickers at me and takes my hand. We walk around the buildings and he finds a bench for us to sit on.

"Do you wanna talk about it?"

"No. Not here. I just don't want to break down here you know?"

"Yeah I get that."

"It's...never mind."

"You don't have to tell me all of it. Just get off your chest what's bothering you at this very moment."

"I just...I don't know. We won't get to have kids will we?"

"What are you talking about? Why on earth would you say that? There wasn't any permanent internal damage I mean sure you'll have scarring but nothing that would prevent-"

"That's not what I'm talking about Spencer! I'm afraid you won't want to be with me anymore. You'll always see me as a victim. And I'm covered in proof."

"Don't you ever think like that. You're still the most beautiful woman in the world to me. Nothing will change that."

"You say that now. But in the moment you might feel differently."

"Ashleigh, stop it right now. I understand where you are coming from but it won't happen. Ever. I can't wait to have children with you."

"Wh-what did you just say?"

"I...I said that I want to have kids someday...with you."

"I thought you were afraid..."

"I was...until I met you." Tears prick in my eyes and I move to sit in his lap.

"Spencer...I can't wait either." I kiss him and run my hand along his face.

"You need to shave," I smile against his lips and he laughs.

"Your wish is my command."

We walk hand in hand back inside and talk the whole way. I'm feeling raw and emotional and honestly like a total wreck. But he is playing along and distracting me from the pain. One of the many reasons I love him: he gives me solace and allows me to feel at my own time.

"Boy or girl?" He studies me for a moment before answering.

"A girl."

"Why girl?"

"Because, sons want to do one of two things, be exactly like their father OR be better than them. I'm already in the FBI. I don't want my child following my footsteps and seeing everything I've seen."

"But you like your job?"

"Yes. I love helping people. But it's dangerous."

"If you had it your way you would bubble wrap the apartment and deadbolt me inside."

"Something like that." He smirks down at me and we go back inside. When the elevator doors open I see a middle aged blonde woman sitting in Spencer's chair.

"Who's that?"

"Strauss," He groans and leads me over to where she is sitting.

"Doctor Reid."

"Hello."

"Just thought I should check in on how you're doing." She gives me a sympathetic look but Spencer tenses beside me.

"Well we haven't gone rogue yet if that's what you came to find out."

"You did kind of run into a warehouse without swat. But I don't blame you. I'm really just here to check in."

"Thanks," I subtly pinch Spence. "I'll be alright."

…

We go into Garcia's office and he hands me my medicine to take before stuffing the bottles back in his pocket. I see Garcia out of the corner of my eye let out an exasperated sigh and Spencer gives her a pointed look.

"Why do you keep my pills in your pocket?"

"I just don't want you to get confused and take them at the wrong time. When somebody is on narcotics it's very easy for them to get their nights and days mixed up and get confused on when it's time to take their medication."

"Oh...okay." He runs his hand along my face and kisses me.

"Get some rest. You've been up and moving around for ten hours now. You heal faster when you're resting. And I told the doctors I would keep you off your feet."

"Okay...party pooper. Lay with me?"

"We can't both fit on that couch without me touching your wounds..."

"Then come here..." I have him sit on the end of the couch and I lay down, Resting my head in his lap. I wrap an arm around him and my face is against his stomach. He gently runs a hand up and down my back and brushes my hair out of my face.

"I love you so much."

"I love you too baby." He leans down and kisses me.

...

I wake up and Spencer is still sitting underneath me. I look up and see he is slumped back and there's a file on the arm of the couch. Looking around I see files all over the table beside the couch and a notebook between me and the back of the couch. I hear Garcia.

"How long was I asleep?"

"Seven hours. He's been asleep for five. Good thing too. He didn't want to move you so he had me running all over the place getting him stuff till he finally conked out."

I smile to myself and move to get up. All the sudden, Spencer's hand tightens on my arm and he draws his gun, pointing it straight out in front of him. His eyes are wide as he takes in the room. I reach up and grab his forearm.

"Spence...it's just me."

He looks down at me and slowly lowers his gun, reholstering it.

"Sorry...I just got spooked I guess."

"I just need to go to the bathroom, why don't you lay back down and get some sleep?"

"No, I'll go with you." He takes me to the bathroom and stops to get some coffee on the way back.

"So, do you have any leads?"

"The leader's name is Liam Costello. He's been killing prostitutes all over the country for the past two years. Apparently his home base is in Fairfax. Then there's Adam. A dissociative personality. I was responsible for his take down. He moved to D.C. after he got out of the mental institution. The other guy- the one Morgan shot- is Nathaniel Jenkins."

"Lou Jenkins brother?"

"Yes."

"What did they want from me?"

"To hurt me." He turns away from me and starts to make a fresh pot of coffee.

"What about the other one?"

"We still haven't found him yet. We suspect that he's in it with Costello."

"How many prostitutes?"

"We found sixty four buried in the field behind the warehouse. At least that's the total for today. Hotch is going back at first light with a team to start digging again."

"Oh my..."

"You shouldn't have to testify. If you do it will be behind closed doors."

"I don't want those videos to get out Spencer."

"Neither do I." We go back to Garcia's office and I sit down on the couch, pulling Spencer down with me.

"Lay down, you need to sleep too. You've had what? Five hours of sleep in the past three days?"

"No..."

"Here," I have him lay across my lap and I run my hand through his hair. "Nothing can get to me if you're laying on top of me." I take one of his hands in mine and he smiles, kissing my knuckles.

I stroke his face until I hear his breathing level out and he starts snoring softly.


	18. Chapter 18

**Thank you ahowell1993 for reviewing! **

**Chapter Eighteen **

I sit and idly run my hand through Spencer's hair as he sleeps. I know I shouldn't but I can't help myself when I see the case files still sitting on the table next to me so I pick one up and start flipping through it. Is this what could've happened to me? They found three women that had only been killed the day before they found me. I knew these girls briefly. They were held with me. But I didn't see how they were murdered. I want to think that they were going to keep me alive but I doubt it. The thought makes me shiver.

"You know, you really shouldn't be looking at those." Morgans voice startles me out of my trance.

"I'm sorry, I just- I can't help myself."

"Yeah I get that. Just don't let anyone outside of this team catch you. It's still an active case so not exactly public record."

"Oh..."

"Finally got him to get some rest?"

"Yeah it wasn't easy either," I laugh. "How's it going...have you guys found more?"

"Yeah...we found the fourth unsub too. But it can wait he's in holding. Let Reid sleep."

"Oh okay."

"The two of you should be able to go home now."

"I don't want to go home without Spencer."

"Give us another day then. Tops. We have all we need to book and prosecute them all. Just want to find out why and if there's anymore bodies we don't know about."

"Okay."

"Try to get some rest. I'll come back later. Tell Reid to come find me when he wakes up."

"Alright thanks."

...

I go to track down Spencer and he's in the round table room with the rest of the team.

"Hey I was just about to come get you."

"Oh?"

"Yeah, let's take a walk."

He leads me out of the building and we walk around for a few minutes before I work up the nerve to ask him.

"So what happened? Who is the other one?"

"Nathaniel Eaton. Turns out he was just a pawn. He and Costello were in it together. Eaton is obviously the submissive partner."

"What does that mean?"

"Well he most likely was tasked with assisting in abductions, disposing of the bodies, gathering supplies. I doubt he ever touched anyone once they were actually in captivity."

"So he will get off?"

"Absolutely not. None of them will ever see the light of day again. Eaton is an accessory to at LEAST eighty five murders. Not to mention the rape charges. We're still getting names and bodies out of Costello. So there could be more. As far as Adam and Garner go, they can be charged with accessory to at least five and for what they did to you."

"So we're going home soon?"

"By the end of the day."

"Oh..."

"Do you not want to go home?"

"Of corse I do it's just...will you be there?"

"Yes. I'm taking some time. I won't leave your side until you're ready."

"Can you do that?" I give him a suspicious look and he nods.

"Strauss personally approved it. Insisted even. I'll still need to be available to call and video conference. 24/7 when they are in the field."

"Sounds fair enough..."

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing just thinking of everything I have to do. The place is trashed."

"It'll be okay. Stop worrying about it. It's just an apartment. I'm more concerned with you."

"I'll be okay. I promise."

...

I'm alone for a while and then Emily comes in and sits next to me on the couch.

"So how's it going?"

"Good. It's going good."

"Spence sent me to take you outside of you want to go."

"Yeah. Sure. Let's go." We walk for a while and I know she's just chomping at the bit.

"Can I profile a profiler?" A giggle slips out and she smiles at me.

"You can give it a shot." She laughs back.

"I think that Hotch is actually the one that sent you. He wants you to do another cognitive. But even though you want a break in the case you know that Spencer will be pissed if he finds out. That's why I haven't heard from him. He wouldn't send someone else to take me outside. Unless Hotch sent him out to that warehouse to get him away for a few hours."

"Wow. You're good."

"I live with a profiler. I have to be. And I'll do it. But I'm telling Spencer. I'm not keeping secrets."

"Understandable."

"I will wait until we're home to tell him though."

"Thanks. Let's find a quiet spot."

...

After a few hours Spencer comes back to get me from where I've been holed up in Garcia's office since my talk with Emily. The closer we get to home, the more I shut down, and he knows it. He's holding my hand as he drives and I know it should bring me relief, but it doesn't. I'm just sick. When we get inside my dam bursts and all of the fear and anger hits me at once. Spencer wraps an arm around my shoulder and leads me to sit on the couch. I collapse against him and sob, muttering incoherency every few seconds.

"You wanna talk about it?"

"What is there to talk about? He made us play Russian roulette Spencer. And not the kind with a gun either. He spun a bottle and whoever it landed on it was their turn to..." I take a deep breath, never moving my head from his chest. I can't look him in the eye. "I watched three girls be brutally raped and mutilated until I was the only one left. But he cut them a lot deeper."

"They needed you alive." He takes a shaky breath and runs a hand through my hair.

"I'm sorry Spencer."

"What are you sorry for? You didn't do anything."

"Exactly. I didn't do anything. I didn't listen when you told me to be careful. I thought you were just overreacting. I didn't pay attention to my surroundings. I don't even know if I kept the windows locked."

"Ashleigh it's okay."

"No it's not, Spencer. How can you say it's okay? You have no clue I was held captive and tortured and forced to choose who lives and dies."

"It's called psychological torture. That's what they get off on. They try to break you before they kill you. And if they can't break you, they can't kill you. That's why you're still alive, because you're strong and they couldn't break you."

"I remembered what you said about Hotch. How the reason he was alive was because he didn't show Foyet fear. I tried so hard not to be afraid."

"I know. I know you did. And I'm so proud of you. I could never do that and survive the way you did."

"Yes you could. If the situation ever arose and I hope and pray it doesn't, you could take it."

"No. I know from experience that I couldn't." I pull back away from him and look him over.

"What do you mean you know from experience?"

"A couple of years ago we were on a case and JJ and I split up. It was stupid, I know. But at the time we just thought we were interviewing a witness. I was blitz attacked and taken to his hiding place. I was held for three days. But what I went through was nothing compared to what they did to you."

"What did he do to you?"

"Most of it was psychological. I can take a beating. Either way he broke me."

"What happened?"

"Well he was a split personality. So it was like three people trapped inside one man in a sense. One of them tortured me, one was an angel of death."

"And the third?"

"That was the actual person. He had no idea what he was even doing."

"What aren't you telling me?"

"Maybe I should show you." He gets up from the couch and goes into the bedroom, returning a few seconds later and lacing a tiny glass bottle in my hand.

"What is this?"

"It's dilaudid."

"Spencer, why do you have this?"

"I can't bring myself to get rid of it."

"But why do you have it in the first place?"

"Because Tobias Henkel shot me up with it when he was holding me prisoner."

"When was the last time you used?"

"Eleven months. Seventeen days."

"Didn't we meet eleven months ago?"

"And eighteen days to be exact. I used the day after I met you. Then you texted me and asked me out for coffee. I was too fucked up to move so I told you that I had to work and made a date for the next day."

"You swear to me you're clean?"

"I swear. I made myself a vow that day that I would never lie to you again. Ever."

"That's why you've been acting so crazy over me taking medicine. And why you freaked when they gave me dilaudid in the hospital."

"I wanted to tell you I just didn't know how. And I was terrified you'd leave me if you found out."

"But how could I leave, Spencer? I love you."

"I meant before. I've wanted to tell you for months I just didn't know how. And then in the hospital I just...that wasn't the place."

"But you're done?"

"Yes. I swear."

I just nod. I still feel like I'm going to break down at any moment but I hold back the tears.

"I wanna take a shower now, Spencer."

"I'll help you." He starts to get up but I gently push him back down. I take notice of the giant wet spot on his shirt which has caught my tears for the past -I look at the clock- two hours.

"Just yell for me if you need me."

"Okay I will."

I stand under the shower and just cry. I can't do anything else. I've held myself together as long as I could and I can't do it anymore. I barely notice Spencer knocking on the door.

"Ashleigh, you okay?...Ashleigh answer me...I'm coming in okay?..."

I hear the door creak open and then click back behind him. I cough and instead of taking his clothes off he just empties his pockets and kicks his shoes into the corner before stepping in front of me and folding me in his arms. I look up and see silent tears streaming down his face amidst the water but I pretend not to notice.

"What they did to you...I swear I will personally make sure they never see the light of day again."

"I know."

"I'm sorry for dropping that ball in your lap after all you've been through."

"No, it's okay. I needed to know."


	19. Chapter 19

**Thank you to ahowell1993 and tannerose5 for reviewing! Next chapter should be up by tomorrow night! **

**Chapter Nineteen**

I wake up and hear voices coming from the living room. Spencer and what sounds like another man. There's also a kid giggling. Or maybe I'm hallucinating. I reach for a sweat shirt and slip it on before going out into the living room to find Hotch and Spencer sitting on the couch. Jack is sitting in the floor looking at a canister, trying to figure out how Spencer made it fly across the room.

"Hey..."

"Oh hey, Ashleigh. Jack and I just wanted to come by and check on you. How are you feeling?"

"Better. Thanks. And thanks for letting Spence have time off."

"Don't mention it. We really should be going."

"Oh okay."

"Reid, talk to Garcia about a strait line to us. We will call you from the plane in a couple of hours."

"Okay thanks"

When the door shuts I eye Spencer suspiciously.

"So how long were they here?"

"Not long at all. A case came in is why they left so quick."

"Ohh. Okay."

"Do you want breakfast?"

"I can get it," I laugh. "I'm not made of glass, Spencer." I go into the kitchen and I actually look around the apartment for the first time and it's totally spotless. Nothing is out of place. Oh my, the fridge is full of food. I turn and give Spencer a look and he laughs.

"Don't look at me. JJ and Emily came over here and cleaned everything up. I guess they know you're the one who cooks."

"They are so sweet." I heat some food up in the microwave and go to take my place next to him on the couch. He's talking on the phone to Garcia and has his laptop open, obviously frustrated.

"Here, put her on speaker and I'll do it."

After that situation is handled I slip into the bedroom to give him privacy to work. The tiny glass bottle on the corner of the dresser right next to the bathroom catches my eye. He must have been putting it away when he heard me last night and forgot about it. I don't know why but I can't look away from it. I get up from the bed and take the bottle off of the dresser before going to sit on the fire escape. I sit and smoke and turn it over in my hands. What could have possibly happened to make him take this? I understand that he was tortured but to keep using? Is it really that addictive? Is that why he's so anal retentive about my own medication? I don't even hear him coming and the window opens, scaring me.

"Spencer! Geeze."

"Hey, what's going on?"

"Nothing, just slipped outside." I subtly slip the bottle up my sleeve so he doesn't see.

"You really shouldn't be doing that with the meds that you're taking. I mean smoking is one thing and I'm trying to let you do your own thing but...that could actually hurt you."

"It's a plant, Spencer."

"Any other time I wouldn't even mention it. I've known for six months before you even moved in here. So I'm not judging. All I ask is that you hold off just until you're off painkillers."

"Okay, fine." I put the pipe back into its case and slip it into my pocket.

"Come inside." He holds his hand out and I take it. That's when he notices the bulge in my sleeve. Once I'm inside and the window is latched behind me he peers down at me passively.

"What's that? Up your sleeve I mean."

I don't take my eyes off of him as I slide the bottle down into my hand and place it in his palm.

"I saw it on the dresser. I was just looking at it. Please don't be mad."

"I'm not. Granted there's nothing much to look at."

He's right. The label is all worn down on it to the point it's just a glass bottle with a white strip.

"I shouldn't be poking my nose in this I'm sorry."

"No it's okay. Really."

"You wanna talk about it?"

"Yes, actually. I do want to talk about it." He takes my hand and leads me back to sit beside him on the couch.

"Ask me anything. Anything at all. I'll answer whatever questions you have."

"I want to know it all. Start to finish."

"Well I told you about the abduction. After that I used for a month or so before stopping. Then we had a case where I saw a boy shot right in front of me. He was just a kid. And I thought I had talked the man down but he just shot him anyway out of nowhere and there was nothing I could do. I went to a couple of meetings and tried to stay clean but I couldn't. I struggled with it on and off for a while before going completely off the deep end."

"What do you mean by that?"

"I started using once a week and then next thing I knew, anytime we weren't on a case I was using."

"Did you ever use on a case?"

"No. How could I? It completely fucked me up. I'd do good to make it around the apartment and send a text message."

"So what was the trigger for that?"

"We were on a case where I identified with the unsub. A lot. I guess it just got me thinking." He shrugs and looks down to the floor for answers.

"Have you wanted to since you quit?"

"Twice."

"Twice?"

"Twice. The first time was when we were in vegas. Remember the child abductions I told you about? And a few of us stayed behind to work on a cold case?"

"Yeah, what about it?"

"That was the first time I saw my father in seventeen years."

"Oh God, why didn't you tell me?"

"I really don't know. I should have. I'm sorry."

"How did you stop? Did you go to anymore meetings?"

"No. I just took it one day at a time. I said to myself 'I can see her or I can shoot up but I can't do both'. Look, I know it's not healthy to fixate on one person because that can lead to obsession if you aren't careful but-"

"Stop it Spencer." I put my hand on his back and he turns, locking eyes with me.

"This is it, isn't it?"

"What do you mean?"

"This is where you go."

"I'm not leaving. It'll take some time, yeah. But we're going to work through this."

He just nods and sniffles.

"What about the second time?"

"I was hoping you'd forget about that."

"Not a chance."

"When you were missing. I couldn't imagine life without you. And I don't want to try."

"Oh, Spencer." I lay my head over on his shoulder and he wraps me in a tight hug. It's uncomfortable but I don't care.

"I understand why you're so afraid now. You don't want me to take the meds because you don't want me to have a problem like you."

"I'd never want this for you. I know that the urge will never completely go away. But I'm trying. I'm trying so hard."

"One day at a time right?"

"One day at a time. Now let's get you something to eat and try to sober you up. I can't give you your meds until you come down a little."

"This is going to turn into a fight isn't it?"

"I'm not going to fly off the handle at you if that's what you're asking. I just beg of you, please don't do this again. It's dangerous enough to take narcotics. You really don't need to add anything else to the mix."

"I know."


	20. Chapter 20

**Thank you to ahowell1993 for reviewing! I am going to do a contest. I REALLY want to reach fifty reviews at the 25 chapter mark. So, for the next five chapters, the next 12 reviewers will get the inside scoop, a shoutout, and a chance to add a key character to this story. Thanks guys! **

**Chapter Twenty**

We're eating breakfast when the call comes in. I've been home a week and Spence is going to go in for a briefing. He said he will only be gone a couple of hours but I can't help but be terrified. I can't say anything to him though because I'm the one who told him to go in the first place. I caught him last night sitting on the couch turning that damn bottle over and over in his hands. He hasn't done anything but I know he's been thinking about it. So, now I need to try and do something about it. I don't know wether to just throw it away or confront him. But i know he's going stir crazy so that's why I suggested he go in just for a briefing. To get out of this apartment and clear his head a little. The moment the door clicks behind him, I am overwhelmed with fear. I frantically run around the apartment and lock windows, close curtains, deadbolt the door. Good. Nobody can see me now. I go and open the drawer I saw him slip the bottle into but it's gone. Nowhere to be found. I look over the entire place but I can't find it anywhere. He comes back just as I'm putting everything back into the medicine cabinet in the bathroom.

"What're you doing?"

"Just cleaning this out."

"You haven't thrown anything away."

"Well I was reorganizing it."

"You're putting everything in there randomly. You're looking for the dilaudid aren't you?"

"I was just going to hide it. I wasn't going to throw it away."

"Then in that case how about I hide your weed?"

"If you'll give me yours, I'll give you mine. This is hardcore stuff Spencer. Medical heroin."

"I told you I was done."

"I know that. But I'm not going to let you fall off of the wagon. Not on my watch. I love you too much."

His face softens and he turns to go to the living room with me right behind him. He reaches in his bag and hands me the bottle.

"Your turn."

"How do I know you won't get more?" I ask as we're walking back into the bedroom so I can get my box out of the closet.

"You'll just have to trust me. Like I'll have to trust you." I hand him the little container that I keep it in and he slides it in his pocket.

"I do trust you, Spencer. It just worries me is all."

"We'll get through this. I swear. I'll prove to you that I'm done."

"Do you have any needles?"

"Yeah...in the top drawer on the right." I go and get the syringes and put it all in my purse. I watch him put the canister and pipe down into his bag.

...

The rest of the morning could almost be described as tense. Both of us worried for the other. Around 1 there's a knock at the door and I get up to answer it before Spencer can move. This earns a playful glare and I stick my tongue out at him.

"Not made of glass. Get back to work so I can have my boyfriend back."

"Yes ma'am," he mutters sarcastically. I open the door, stifling a laugh.

"Hey Garcia."

"You look like you're doing much better. How do you feel?"

"I'm getting there. Are you here for Spence?"

"Yeah, just dropping off this stack of trees. All of which wouldn't have to die if he would use a device." She's talking pointedly over my shoulder which makes me laugh. She gives him the files and we talk for a few minutes before she says she has to get back.

"Why couldn't she just email them to you and let you print them here like the last case?"

"Because she wanted to check on you."

"That's sweet."

"Yeah. I've got about thirty minutes before they call so I'm gonna go out for coffee before they do. You want anything?"

"The usual. And can you get me...never mind."

"Yes. I'll get your cigarettes."

"Thanks. Love you," I call out to him as he's walking out the door.

"Love you more," he calls back over his shoulder.

After about twenty minutes I hear chattering coming from Spencer's open laptop.

"Reid? Hey, Reid. We're ready. Where are you?" I go over to his desk and sit down.

"Hey guys. Sorry. He just ran out really quick. Said he had like a half hour."

"Yeah we're ahead of schedule."

"My bad. I sent him out." I see him come through the door.

"He's back. Sorry again. Here he is." I get up and watch him go to sit behind his desk. I grab my coffee from the counter and motion to him that I'm going outside, which earns a nod." After a while he comes out the window and sits next to me.

"I have an idea."

"What's that?"

"Well, when this case is over I think we should give both of our stuff to someone we trust. Give it to the same person."

"Like who?"

"I'm not sure. You can choose."

"But why the same person."

"So that we have one person who knows and we can be sure the other isn't getting theirs back without our knowing."

"Makes sense. Yeah. I could do that."

"Good. And I've got something else I need you to think about."

"Oh?"

"I was thinking that maybe one day we could just lock ourselves in here and hash it out. Get it all out in the open. Everything we've been through. I want to know where you got those scars. The ones from before. I want to know it all."

"I can do that I guess."

"Good. And from here on no more secrets. I swear."

"I need to tell you something."

"What's that?"

"Well, when Hotch sent you to the warehouse, it was because he wanted Emily to take me for a cognitive. Please don't be mad at them. They were just doing their jobs and covering the bases."

"My only problem is that I wasn't informed." I take his hand in mine and lay my head on his shoulder.

"We will get through this, Spencer. I'm here."

"And I'm here for you."


	21. Chapter 21

**_Thank you to ahowell1993 and MayisGJ for reviwing! I want to make it to 50 reviews by Chapter 25 so the next 10 reviewers WILL be rewarded. Thanks!_**

**_Chapter Twenty-One_**

Spencer wakes me up at like three in the morning and pain immediately shoots through me.

"What the hell, Spencer?"

"You were whimpering in your sleep." He gazes down at me and his eyes are filled with concern. Oh shit, he's still dressed.

"I'm alright, can you get my medicine?"

"Already done." He hands me a pill and a glass of water which I take gratefully.

"Come to bed?"

"I'm on a case."

"At three in the morning?"

"Okay, maybe I'm obsessing. Everyone is starting fresh in about seven hours."

"Where are they?"

"California. Three hours behind. They just called it a night an hour ago. I was just finishing up."

"Please come to bed," I pout.

"Five minutes. I need to change."

Exactly five minutes later he comes sauntering out of the bathroom. His pajama pants hang low on his waist and he slides into beside me. I lay my head on his chest and he breathes deep.

"I love you."

"I love you too, Spencer. Get some sleep." I yawn into his chest.

…

I wake up and can hear Spencer pacing around in the living room so I go to check on him.

"Hey, you okay?"

"Yeah, just waiting for news."

"Oh, okay."

"How did you sleep?"

"Alright. I take it that when the case is done, you're barricading us in here?"

"Something like that."

"Are you still mad?"

"I was never mad."

"Yes you were, Spencer. I could tell."

"So now you're reading my micro-expressions?"

"I live with a profiler, he teaches me things." I beam at him and he stifles a laugh.

…

A few hours later, Spence comes and finds me on the fire escape.

"I went to the corner and got coffee. Here. Case is closed by the way."

"Thanks. So, will you admit that you're mad now?"

"Okay, yeah. I am mad."

"You said that you knew already."

"I did. I just know that you know that you shouldn't be doing anything like that right now."

"Spencer I-"

"And before you say anything, I don't give a rats ass if that's what you want to do. Just please don't do it around me."

"But if you don't care then why-"

"The way you act is almost like someone who's sedated. I don't like seeing you that way."

"Because it reminds you of your mother."

"Yes."

"Okay. That's all you had to say."

"Your turn. How'd you get those scars?"

"I was in foster care. Parents died in a car wreck. Just like Garcia. Except, I was put into foster care. I was only six."

"You've told me this though."

"What I didn't tell you was that it was horrific. All of us were beaten every day. In and out of emergency rooms all across the state."

"To reduce suspicion."

"I tried to come out but nothing ever came of it."

"Are there still children in the home?"

"I think so."

"I can fix this. We can fix this. We can help those kids."

"I don't want you to leave. Not at night." I glance up to the purpleish sky and the sun setting while I bite my lip to keep it from quivering. He reaches up and cups my face in his hand.

"Just let me call Garcia okay? We wouldn't be able to go tonight anyways without looking into it."

"Okay." He pulls out his phone and sends a quick text before returning his attention to me. I'm trying my best to stay calm but I can't catch my breath or stop the silent tears from streaming down my face. I've never had to tell anyone about this and I feel sick.

"Hey hey hey, no. Don't shut down okay?"

"Tell me why you identified with the unsub who made you start shooting up."

"We were both relentlessly bullied."

"What do you mean?"

"I was a twelve-year-old prodigy in a public high school. I got my ass kicked almost daily. I could take a beating though."

"So, what happened?"

"I was coaxed out onto the football field where I was stripped naked and tied to a goal post. They took my clothes and I had to take a banner from the fence to walk home. When I got home hours later, my mom didn't even know I was late. She was really sick. I never told her though. Didn't want to give her something else to worry about something."

"Spencer. I'm so sorry. I can't imagine."

"It was a long time ago."

"Thank you for telling me." I put my arm around him and earn a small smile.

"I love you, you know that?"

"I love you too. Hey, here's an idea."

"What's that?"

"The past couple of weeks have been so terrible and so stressful. We haven't been able to do our favorite thing."

"You want me to read to you?"

"Yes please."

"I'll get the tea, you get the book." He gives me a peck on the forehead and helps me climb back through the window.


	22. Chapter 22

**_Thank you to tannerose5 for reviewing. I've got a very special surprise coming in chapter 25 so there's something to look forward to. Sorry for another short chapter but this is the only decent stopping point I could find to avoid having a ridiculously long chapter haha. Please review! Next chapter will be up within 24 hours._**

**_Chapter Twenty-Two_**

It's been a month and we are slowly settling back into our old selves. Instead of giving our things to a third party we just locked them in the safe. My idea. Spencer has been loving and attentive and I have been restless to say the least considering I haven't so much as stepped a foot outside alone except for the fire escape. The entire team has been by to visit occasionally. I think they are taking turns every other day. Spence was in the office last week but not the field. He called every hour on the hour to check on me. It's the night before Spence officially goes back to the field, and I'm a nervous wreck. Even though we did a "trial run" of sorts, the thought of him potentially going halfway across the country scares me to death. He knows this and Morgan picked up on it last time he came to check on me. Which is why he took it upon himself to teach me how to shoot. I'm sitting on the couch drinking tea and watching him mull around in the kitchen. I get all fuzzy when I look at him. His hair is flopped down in his face and even though he's just wearing pajamas, he looks pretty damn sexy to me right now.

"Baby, you might want to put a shirt on."

"Why's that?"

"Cause you look way too hot right now." He rolls his eyes and laughs at me before he disappears momentarily. He comes back wearing a t shirt.

"Better?"

"I mean, no," I laugh.

"How do you feel?"

"Physically? I feel pretty good."

"Good."

"You'll have to thank Morgan for teaching me how to shoot a gun."

"Already done. I hope you never have to touch it." He comes to sit next to me and I curl into his side. I can finally do this comfortably.

"I need to take a shower soon."

"Want company?" I turn my head and gaze up at him, he's smirking.

"Sounds nice."

We get into the shower and the first five minutes are business as always. It amazes me how we can move in perfect unison like this. Eventually, I find myself wrapped in his arms, standing under the water. I kiss his chest and trail feather light kisses up to his mouth. After a moment, I bite down on his bottom lip and he parts his lips, allowing me entrance. Our tongues dance until we are both pressed against the wall of the shower, panting. I start to trail my hand down but he quickly grabs my wrist when I get to his belly button.

"Stop."

"Spence I'm fi-"

"The doctor said eight weeks."

"No, he said s_ix to eight_ weeks. It's been seven."

"I don't want to hurt you."

"You won't."

"You have a follow up in three days. We can wait until then."

"What if you have to leave tomorrow?"

"I'm not going to do anything that could potentially hurt you. Even if you feel like you're fine."

"But, Spen-" He puts his finger against my lips.

"Shh. Stop arguing with me. I am trying very hard to exercise self-control."

"Fine," I pout and he laughs.

"Let's get you out of this shower. It's late."

…

"Ashleigh, Ashleigh. Wake up! I've gotta go," Spence is shaking me gently and I roll over to look at him.

"What is it? What's wrong?"

"We've got a local case. I'll call you later."

"What time is it?"

"Two in the morning. Garcia called. Said it was an emergency."

"Go. Be careful. Please." I get up and go to the little safe under his desk and get his gun out for him while he's getting dressed.

"Thanks."

"You seem frantic."

"I'm not sure what I'm walking into. I'll check in with you later though. I love you."

"I love you too."

…

I stay glued to the TV until the sun rises. Apparent bomb threats and random outbreaks at hospitals in the area. The CDC has apparently been called in. And still no word from Spencer. This really worries me because the last time there was something like this in DC, he ended up poisoned. Not to mention when they went to New York and were almost blown off the map. I hug the throw tighter around myself and try to sip my tea. I'm trying really hard to keep my cool _and _my promise to Spencer. I can't stand it anymore so I pick up the phone and call Garcia.

"Hey, Ashleigh."

"Ashleigh? Garcia, what's going on?"

"Nothing, why would you say something is going on?"

"Because you usually pop off with a quirky nick name. Is Spencer okay?"

"Yeah. Reid is fine."

"How's everyone else?"

"Good. We're good. Reid and Morgan are out following a lead right now. They should be back soon. I'll have him call you."

"No, it's fine. He said he would check in later so I'll just wait for him to call."

"If you say so."

"Bye, Garcia."

"Bye."

I pace around the apartment for an hour before I hear another news alert. Two federal agents involved in a bombing.


	23. Chapter 23

**_Thank you to tannerose5 an ahoewll1993 for reviewing! Everyone else please take a moment to do so! I would like to have fifty by chapter 25! You can review multiple times to help me reach this goal, by the way!_**

**_Chapter Twenty-Three_**

My heart feels like it's going to beat out of my chest and I can't breathe. I try to call Spencer twice, nothing. I try Morgan, JJ, Emily, Rossi, and Hotch. Nothing. I try to call Garcia but there's no answer there either. Oh God. JJ's house phone! Maybe Will is home.

"Ashleigh, I want you to listen to me. Get the gun that Reid left for you and be ready to move in ten. I'm walking out the door now."

"What's happening?"

"Just. Stay. Put. Reid told me to come and get you."

"But,"

"I gotta go. I'll text you so you have my number. I'll pull around into the alley. Do not go out the front door. Come down the fire escape."

"Oh my God, is Henry with you?"

"Yes. Grab a go bag." He hangs up and I go straight to the safe to get the gun out. I load it and decide maybe I should take extra with me. I throw a change of clothes, my bathroom stuff, a charger, and the extra bullets into a backpack before going to look out the window down into the alley. I see him coming so I climb down and get in quickly.

"Good job."

"Where are we going? Where's Spencer?"

"The whole team is at the hospital. We're going there now."

"Is he okay? What do you know?" Damn, he drives like Morgan.

"Not much. Just that if anything out of the ordinary happened I was to make sure that everyone connected to the team in the immediate area was safe."

"What about Jack?"

"Already at the BAU. They got him this morning. I really don't know anything. I talked to JJ, she told me that they were at the hospital and to bring you. Didn't say who was injured."

"But Morgan always goes on raids. And Spencer was with him."

"Try not to go there." We pull into the hospital and Will gives me a warning look.

"Stay close. At least until we find them."

He takes me down to the emergency room and there are people running all over the place. I hear someone say that all the victims were brought here from the bombing. I see the back of Hotch's head first and walk faster. Hotch, Emily, JJ, and Rossi are all standing with their backs to the crowd, looking into one area sectioned off with curtains. I look over their shoulders and see Spencer sitting on a bed.

"Let's give them a minute." Hotch nods at everyone else before turning to Morgan and closing the curtain and leaving us in semi-privacy. I quickly close the distance between us and he wraps an arm around me. I run my hands over him.

"What happened, where are you hurt?"

"I'm fine."

"You're sitting in front of me in a hospital gown, Spencer. You are not fine!"

"Yes I am. Just a little beat up. Don't worry. The bomb was just a distraction. Nobody was seriously injured. Most everyone here is just getting checked out. A few got stitches but that's it.

"Oh my God. I thought you were dead. I tried to call and I couldn't…"

"Shh…no more tears…I'm okay…you're okay…we're all okay." He folds me in his arms and we sit like this for a few minutes. Well, he's sitting. I'm standing in front of him.

"I need to get dressed and get back to work."

"I know."

"You're all being taken into protective custody. Don't worry you'll be right down the hall from me."

"Us all?"

"You, Will, Henry, Jack, my mom."

"Your mom?"

"Yeah. All of our families pretty much are either coming here or they're going to field offices near where they live."

"Oh."

"My mom is the only one we're flying in. She can't go to another field office it would scare her to death."

"So, why are we all being protected anyways?"

"There's a guy that we caught a few years back. Well, he blew himself up. Anyways, he knew everything about this team. Set up this big quest ordeal for us. We've figured out that his nephew had regular contact with him and blames us for what happened. He has a personal vendetta actually. We raided his apartment building and found proof of him stalking not only us, but our families. He's been working on this pretty much ever since his uncle died."

"Do you think this is connected to what happened to me?"

"We know it is. He's no doubt the leader of the entire thing."

"That's insane."

"Yeah, it is. I made the call to take my mother into protective custody and was on the way to get you with Morgan when we got a tip of a disruption that sounded like it could be directly connected to the case. So, we decided to stop since it was on the way. It ended up being a bomb down in the subway. I think the intent was to maim, not kill."

"Like the bomb under the SUV in New York."

"Yeah. It was just a distraction. It was in the last car and there was nobody in there at the time. People had just disembarked and they were letting more on. The unsub waited until the last two cars were empty before he detonated. Which means he didn't want to kill anybody, just distract us. Because, if there would've been anybody in that last car they would have been blown to bits, and anyone in the car directly next to it would've had a very slim chance of survival."

"What else do you know?"

"Remember, anything I tell you doesn't leave this room."

"Got it."

"There's been anthrax attacks. We think it's all linked back to Daniel Garner. We found trace evidence of anthrax being manufactured in the other side of the warehouse you were held in."

"But if it's anthrax…"

"He could've taken out the whole city by now if he wanted to. But he doesn't. He just wanted our involvement."

"So, what now?"

"Now we take you back to the BAU, debrief you officially, and get you set up somewhere with Will and the kids. My mom should be here in a couple of hours."

"I was so scared, Spencer. I don't know what I'd do without you."

"I don't know what I'd do without you either. I wanted to call, I really did. But I knew he would be watching the chaos he inflicted and I didn't want him to see me call you and try to get to you first."

"I know why you did it, I love you."

"I love you too. Now, no more tears. I'm okay. Be strong." He leans his forehead against mine and kisses me before rising to change back into his clothes.

"I hate these things, but they insisted on a CT scan."

"How long have you been here?"

"Two hours."

"Oh…"

…

When we get back to the BAU, we're led into the round table room and a guy names Anderson takes the kids to get a drink. Hotch is quick about telling us what we need to know and we're taken down the hall to Rossi's office. I'm left alone with the kids for a while. Which, I already saw it coming. Will is a detective and part of the force here so of course he's in on the investigation. After a while, Spencer comes to get me and escorts me outside. We come back in and we're standing at the counter getting coffee when it washes over me just how terrified I am. I can't stop the tears and Spencer pulls me into his arms.

"Oh, Spencer. I'm so sorry. I know you need me to be strong right now and I'm trying so hard. I'm terrified but is it bad that I'm also relieved? I know I've said this before but I thought you were dead. I couldn't reach you and I couldn't reach your team and from the moment I saw the news until I was in your arms, I couldn't breathe. If you had…if you hadn't…"

"I know. I know. Look, I know I told you to be strong. But, if you need to take a minute then that's okay. Nobody is going to judge you or look down on you. You have PTSD, Ashleigh. You went through an extremely traumatic event not even three months ago. It's perfectly normal for you to feel this way." I just nod into his chest. I know that there's people mulling all around but I couldn't care less about who's watching us right now. He rubs soft circles on my back and kisses my hair.

"Spencer, I just don't know." He tilts my chin up and takes my face in his hands, eyes burning into mine.

"All you need to know is that no matter what happens, I will fight like hell to get back to you. Because I love you. I love you so much."

"I love you too, Spencer. Do you promise that you're safe here?"

"I swear. This is a safe place. Don't worry about that. But, to put your mind at ease, the gun I had you bring is still in your go bag. I figured that would give you some peace of mind."

"It does, thank you." Movement catches my eye and I see Spencer's mom come out of an elevator, accompanied by two agents.

"Thanks guys, I've got her from here."

"Spencer, what's going on? Those goons didn't tell me anything."

"Let's go someplace where we can talk." He leads us into the conference room and shuts the door behind us.

"Mom, do you remember Randall Garner? The Fisher King?"

"Yes, what is this about?"

"His nephew is after this team. I had to bring you here as a precaution. I know you hate flying but it couldn't be avoided. You're going to be staying in an office with Ashleigh and the children until we find him."

"Children? You never mentioned any children."

"No, mom. Not _our_ children. Hotch's and JJ's sons."

"Alright. But I'm not happy with this."

"I'm sorry mom, we will try to get this over with soon."


	24. Chapter 24

**Thank you to ahowell1993 and tannerose5/lolyncut for reviewing! **

**Chapter Twenty-Four**

Diana is sitting in one of the chairs, writing in her notebook. The boys are conked out on one of the couches. We've got two in here now since they moved the one from Hotch's office. Spencer told me to keep the blinds closed so nobody could see in, but he didn't say a word about peeking out. That's what I do every once in a while. Eventually I decide to pull a chair across to sir by the window and I turn one single blind out so I can look through the little slit. It's not just the BAU anymore. The whole defense community is here. Army, CIA, CDC, even the air force. What's the air force doing here? Most of them no doubt came to make sure the Bureau is doing their job right. Spencer has the entire area of their desks sectioned off with their clear white boards. There's pictures of the entire team and something strikes me as odd about some of the pictures. I poke my head out the door and Spencer sees me instantly. He comes up and shuts the door behind him.

"What's wrong?"

"I was just thinking, how would they get pictures of you guys at your desks? Without having eyes inside?"

"Don't move." He leaves the room and returns within moments with the entire team on his heels. Hotch looks like he is made of stone.

"Morgan, Reid. Why don't you take Diana, Ashleigh, and the children out for some air?"

We get up and follow behind them. I'm careful to show no emotion as were led outside. We're siting underneath a shelter with tables around it when slowly, two by two, the rest of the team joins us. Hotch is the last. He came alone.

"Okay so, Ashleigh noticed something. I don't know how we missed this before. But, there has to be a partner on the inside."

"Either that or he's hacked into the surveillance system. I'll have to double check the angles but that could be what he's doing." Garcia chimes in and Hotch nods to her. She opens her laptop and goes to work.

"Okay until she's proven that theory, what could we be looking at?"

"It honestly could be anybody. An assistant, file clerk, even custodial staff. We really can't rule anybody out." Morgan is leaning against a post with his arms crossed.

"Hey," Will speaks up. "All of these pictures were taken at night. After you all got home from a case. Look. You'll remember if anyone will." He hands Spence a picture.

"Yeah. Yeah it is. This was right after the suicides in Wyoming."

"Surely nobody was here. I mean, you didn't even get home till 3am."

"Yeah. There's no way that anyone was around. He has to be tapping into surveillance."

"Garcia, can you scramble the signal? Nobody can know you're turning the cameras off."

"I can create a private network and send a virus in from there. But that will only buy us about 12 hours."

"Do that."

"I think we're looking at this the wrong way. He wants us to find him. We have to look at the obvious."

"Reid, I see your wheels turning."

"Garcia, find out if the warehouse behind where Ashleigh was held is abandoned."

"187 strikes again. Yes it is."

"That's where he's hiding."

We all go back inside and we're left in Rossi's office again. A little while later, Spencer comes back. His mom and both boys are asleep but I can't even manage to sit down. He wraps his arms tight around me and kisses my hair.

"I'll be back soon."

"Will you?"

"Why would you say that?"

"All this talk of anthrax and explosives and four year old vendettas really has me worried."

"Well don't. Bomb squad is going in first thing."

"You may need a hazmat suit. I don't think this vest is going to cut it."

"Just try to calm down okay? You can move around all you want so if it makes you feel better then you can check in with Garcia."

"I might do that." He turns to leave but I grab his wrist and he turns back around to face me.

"You'd better be safe. Don't do anything stupid. And come back to me, Spencer."

"I will."

"I'm serious. I heard that when you were dealing with the uncle you walked straight towards the bomb!"

"I won't do it this time, I promise. And for the record, last time I didn't even know that there was a bomb before I was in the room with him."

"Okay."

"When all this is over, I want you to marry me."

"What? Spencer. You can't be serious."

"I've never been more serious about anything in my entire life. Give it some thought?"

"I will," I smile and realize, what's there to think about? But I'm not going to tell him. I'm going to wait until this is over to give him an answer.

"I'll either be back or check in soon. I love you."

"Love you too." I rise up on my tip toes and kiss him before he turns to leave.

"He's always been such a smart boy." I turn to find that Diana is awake and sitting up.

"Oh?"

"But not a speck of common sense. It's gotten better since he started doing this. But I've seen an exponential difference over the last year or so."

"Oh...thanks."

We sit in silence for a while before she nods back off. After a while the team comes back. The warehouse was creepy, yeah. But not a soul was there. It was all laid out before them. Along with a box that contained the decaying body of Randall Garner.

"This is crazy. We're running all over the place looking for a ghost."

All of the sudden an alarm goes off and everyone takes off out of the room. Spence turns around and stops me.

"No fire. There's a threat though. Stay here." I stay by the door and watch out the window. There's a man walking calmly around the top of the bullpen. He slowly opens the door and steps inside of Rossi's office with us.

"Hey Ashleigh. Agent Reid told me to collect you."

"What are you-" he cuts me off and turns where nobody but me can see his hands. He's pressing a gun in my side.

"Just walk. Try to run or scream and I'll kill the kids, mommy, and then you. In that order." I just nod and smile back at the boys and Diana.

"This is Agent Tennyson. He's going to take me to check in with Garcia. Be back soon." When we get to the stair well I muster up the courage to speak to him.

"Daniel Garner?"

"In the flesh."

"I thought I recognized that sneer."

"I thought I recognized that ass," he shoots back.

"What do you want with me?"

"A hostage," he shrugs.

"May as well be honest since we both know I'm going to die soon. We are in the heart of the FBI afterall. Don't worry love, you'll die too. That's kind of the point of a human shield."

"They would never fire without a clear shot."

"Do you know that for sure?"

"Yes." My wheels are turning as I try to figure a way out of this. Next thing I know, I see a figure trailing behind us in the shadows. I don't think he notices. I look up and see Spencer and Morgan looking over the rails. They're a flight behind us. Spencer puts a finger to his lips and I put my face forward. It all happens in slow motion. Once we get to the bottom landing, we're tackled from above. Morgan. I scramble away from the fight as fast as I can and back up into Spencer. Both of them snap their guns up in his direction.

"Daniel Garner, you're under arrest for the murders of eighty four women, attempted murder of seven federal agents, five additional counts of attempted murder, rape, child endangerment, human trafficking, and terrorism. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to an attorney..." I sink back against Spencer and he locks an arm around me. It's finally over. This chapter at least. We go back up to Rossi's office and find Diana and the boys still sleeping.

"We will have to question him, but I'm taking you home first."

"What about your mom?"

"She can stay with us for tonight. If that's okay with you."

"No problem. Oddly I'm actually excited."

"Good."

...

After Diana is settled in our room, I collapse down into the couch and smile up at Spencer.

"I'm not sure how late I'll be. You don't have to wait up."

"Alright. Hope it works out fast. I love you."

"I love you too."


	25. Chapter 25

Thank you to ahowell1993 for reviewing! I will try to have the next chapter up in the next couple of days. I apologize for the delay and short chapter. I've had issues with my computer and writing on an iPad is easier said than done. Until next time!

Chapter Twenty-Five

I wake up too warm and Spence is wrapped around me like a vine, running his hand through my hair. I peek up at him and he's looking at me through slitted eyes.

"Hi."

"Hey, you okay?"

"Yeah. I'm good."

"What happened?"

"Nothing, I swear. I'm just happy that it's over."

"Yeah, me too."

"So, what do you want to do?"

"Get married?"

"What?"

"Well I mean, you did ask me."

"I didn't expect an answer this fast to be honest."

"What is there to think about? I'd be happy going down to the courthouse."

"Well if that's the case, let me take care of it. In the meantime, Rossi is having everyone over tomorrow night,"

"Oh okay. Is your mom going to get to stay for a couple of days?"

"I think she was wanting to go back home. I asked if she wanted to stay a couple of days and she didn't seem very excited about the idea."

"Oh…"

"Yeah."

…

After a while, Spencer goes to take his mom home. Says he should be back around bedtime, he just wants to fly with her to keep her from getting too upset. I'm reading when there's a knock at the door.

"Oh, hey Chelsea. Come in. No offense or anything but, what are you doing here?"

"Just wanted to see if you could come out for coffee or something. You said Spencer was gone, right?"

"Yeah he's gone but, I kind of already made plans. Emily, Jennifer, and Penelope asked me out for coffee."

"Oh my god! What happened to you? You're covered in bruises! Is that a scar on your chest?" I quickly wrap the afghan around myself.

"I'm okay. I was just in an accident."

"Did he do this to you?"

"Spencer? No," I laugh.

"It all makes sense now. You never leave home alone, constantly going out with his team uncontested. Is that because they won't turn him in?"

"Okay, I think you should go now."

"What? I'm not going anywhere. To the police maybe."

"Spencer hasn't lain so much as a hand on me. I'd advise you to get out of my house. Now."

"Ashleigh you-"

"I said get the hell out of my house! Now! Go!"

I jerk the door open, intent on throwing her out. That's when I see Emily. Oh fuck. Now I've got to tell them about this shit. She storms away and Emily gives me a sideways glance, but she thankfully doesn't say anything.

"Let me get my purse," I mutter. I grab my phone and my purse and turn to leave, locking the door behind me. Once in the car, I lose it.

"For someone who hasn't even seen me in two months, she really has nerve coming here and throwing around accusations!"

"I'm sorry, I don't understand."

"Chelsea! She came to see me and was barely in the door before she started accusing spencer of abusing me."

"That's ridiculous."

"Don't tell him about this."

"Your secret is safe with me."

A few moments pass before she speaks again.

"Just a heads up, Will Reid was killed yesterday."

"Oh my God, how?"

"He supposedly died accidentally but Spence said he wanted to look in on the autopsy."

"So that's why he went to Vegas?"

"Partially."

"Oh."

We all go out to lunch before shopping. They talk me into a cocktail dress and I get the feeling they're up to something but I let it be. They actually hang out at the apartment with me until Spence comes home.

"They told me about your dad."

"He was actually poisoned. No doubt by Garner."

"What happens now?"

"Nothing. Is it wrong that I'm actually...relieved. In a sense, I mean."

"I don't think that's wrong at all. He hurt you."

"Should I have told my mom?"

"I don't think that's something she needs to worry about."

"Yeah...you're right."


	26. Chapter 26

**A/N: first of all, thank you to ahowell1993 and tannerose5/lolyncut for reviewing. Secondly, chapters will be formatted differently, and posted weekly/twice a week until I can get my laptop back. It has been sent off so hopefully it won't be too long. I apologize for the delay but it is incredibly difficult to write on a phone/iPad. Thank you! **

**Chapter twenty-six**

I roll over to an empty bed- this is getting to be a habit- and go in search for Spencer. He's sitting in the corner of the living room at his desk, twirling a bullet around in his hand.

"What is that?" He looks up at me and opens his arms, I respond by moving to sit on his lap.

"Spencer, what aren't you telling me?"

"I took my mother back to Vegas because one, she needs to be there for treatment. But more importantly, that's the safest place for her."

"Is there still a threat?"

"We think so. We think it has more to do with the actual team than anyone around us, though."

"So, what are you going to do now?"

"Wait and see is all we can do. We don't have any tangible information yet."

"Oh, I see."

"What are you doing up?"

"I missed you." I tighten my arms around him and rest my head against his.

"I know. I'm sorry. I just needed to think and didn't want to wake you. Come on, let's get you back in bed."

"I'm not tired..."

"Ashlei-" I put a finger to his lips.

"Shh. I'm fine, stop worrying."

"I just don't want to hurt you..."

"Then be gentle..." I trail kisses along his face and down his neck. I gaze up at him before grazing my teeth along his Adam's apple. This earns a nice response. He pulls my chin back up and crushes his mouth to mine, sliding a shaking hand under the t shirt I'm wearing and slipping down into my panties.

"Bedroom," I murmur. He hoists me up and carries me, making me giggle.

"Do you remember the first time we kissed?"

"How could I forget? Took me thirty seven minutes to work up the nerve."

"I think that's so adorable."

"What?" He looks at me questioningly as he makes quick work of taking both of our clothes off.

"How you were just as nervous as I was."

"We just needed to thaw eachother out," he smiles down at me.

"Yes, we did."

"Tell me if you need to stop?"

"I will. I promise."

...

Spencer is actually asleep beside me when I wake up. I go into the kitchen to make breakfast and it's not long until he comes sauntering out of the bedroom, grinning at me.

"What's going on in that big brain of yours?"

"A brilliant idea." He comes behind me and snakes his arms around me.

"Oh yeah? What's that?"

"Let's get married, tonight."

"At Rossi's?"

"His idea actually."

"I hate to impose though..."

"I'm sure nobody will see it that way."

"It is a good idea though...let's do it."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah." I respond to his boyish grin with one of my own. He brushes the hair off of my neck and kisses behind my ear. After we eat breakfast, he settles down at his desk and works for most of the morning and early afternoon while I go about my usual monotony.

"You know, I have hands too. You don't have to do all of the cleaning around here." He smirks at me and I laugh.

"I like doing things for you. Now, get back to work. I don't want to share you for a few days."

"I think that can be arranged."

...

We're on our way to Rossi's and I can't help the small smile playing on my lips.

"You already had this set up, didn't you?"

"It was in the works, after you said yes."

"I see."

"But you already knew that, didn't you?"

"I had a feeling."

"Are you okay? Seriously? Was last night too much?"

"Absolutely not. Last night was perfect. Don't worry."

"So, good news and bad news."

"Lay it on me."

"Well I'm taking the weekend no calls, except for emergency, but I'll have to go back to work Monday. That's the bad news."

"And the good?"

"The good news is, next Friday starts our week."

"So you get to take a week off?"

"Yeah, and we can go wherever you want."

"Well, what were you thinking?"

"Anywhere you want. Granted, id like to stay holed up inside. Maybe somewhere cold, rainy?"

"You thinking maybe a cabin, out in the woods? If you don't have cell service they can't call you in."

"I like the way you think."

"So, how did you pull all of this off?"

"Let's just say, the team works very well together- in all things."


	27. Chapter 27

**Thank you to ahowell1993 for reviewing. I will try to have the next chapter up in the next couple of days. Again, I apologize for the short chapter and the delays! **

**Chapter twenty-seven**

Eventually after we've said our vows, it turns into an all out party. There's joking and dancing. Rossi is seriously doing karaoke with JJ and Garcia has broken out the jager. Eventually, Rossi pulls us aside and hands Spence an envelope.

"Take a couple weeks. We got you two a cabin out by Lake Tahoe."

"You can't be serious," Spencer is dumbfounded.

"I am, kid. You deserve it. Both of you do. Now, you'd better make you're rounds, if you want to make that 2am departure."

...

When we land, Spence leads me groggily through the airport and outside to where a rental car is waiting. He drives and I have no idea where we are but I notice he's using a gps.

"Don't plan on getting out of bed this week," I joke.

"Oh, the things I'd like to do to you."

"Like what?"

"Okay this is going to sound weird."

"Lay it on me, Spence. I think I can take a little weird," I laugh.

"Well, after we were together for a couple months, I don't know, I just had this urge to make you mine- all mine."

"I think the feeling was mutual."

"Were the fantasies mutual?" He eyes me sheepishly.

"First of all, eyes on the road. Secondly, I've got an idea."

"What's that?"

"Well considering the fantasies were mutual, lets put them to the test."

"You're serious?"

"Oh yeah. We've got nothing but time."

"Well, I don't want to hurt you or anything."

"I'm not made of glass, Spencer. As long as you don't tie me up I think I'll live."

The cabin is beautiful. When you first walk in the door there is a large yet cozy great room which houses the living room and kitchen. Behind the couch sits a pool table and down the hall there is a sunroom with a hot tub! We go upstairs to find a nice bedroom with a huge bed. There was a half bath down stairs but there's a big bathroom upstairs with jacuzzi tub and the works. I turn to Spencer and reach up to push the jacket off of his shoulders.

"About that fantasy of yours..."

"Yeah about that, I need you in bed for it."

...

I wake up sore but feeling almost refreshed. I see the back of Spencers head. He's sitting out on the deck reading. I go into the bathroom and look myself over in the mirror. My lips are swollen and red, there's a hickey here and there which makes me bust out laughing. I wrap up in a robe and go in search of my -now- husband. The thought makes me beam. He hears me coming and puts his book down so I can sit in his lap. Instead of sitting like I normally would an idea hits me and I just can't help myself so I straddle him, taking him off guard.

"Good morning to you too." He laughs.

"Look what you did." I bite my lip to stifle my laugh and open the robe so he can see the trail of love bites.

"Hickies are so juvenile," I tease him and he laughs.

"I did say that a few months ago, didn't I?"

"You aren't the only one with a good memory."

"Touché. How are you feeling?"

"Absolutely amazing. Now, as I recall, we should get started on my fantasies?"

"Here?"

"Right here. Nobody can see us. Well, I don't think they can. I mean, were out in the woods and there's nobody around and it's supposed to be a private deck."

"How true. Leave the robe on?"

"Great minds think alike." I open the robe and drape it around his shoulders so we are both enclosed before I reach down and blindly help him shimmy his pajama pants down.

...

"Every day with you is an adventure..." Spence trails off as he runs a hand through my wet hair. We just finished round four or five. I don't know. I've lost count. We've spend the past two days playing out our fantasies. It was my turn this time- hence the hot tub- but I have a feeling he's planning on putting the pool table to good use.

"Well, I had to level the score."

"What score?"

"You may have kissed an actress in a pool, but now you've had hot sex with your wife in a hot tub. A hot tub on a screened in porch while the air around us is 20 degrees."

"Yeah, I think you win."

"I know," I wink.

...

Were laying tangled up in bed, absolutely spent. Spencer's head is on my chest and I'm rubbing his back.

"Is it bad that I kind of hope you're pregnant?"

"Is it bad that I do too?"

"Not at all." He tightens his arms around me and kisses my collar bone.

...

After five days in our cabin we decide to go and see Diana before heading home. It's almost an eight hour drive down to Las Vegas but Spencer surprisingly drives the whole way. Spence stays behind at the desk to talk to her doctor but I go on ahead when I see her sitting by the window.

"Ashleigh! I'll need you to stick around, if Spencer is going to visit me this much with you!"

"Well you're kind of stuck with me now," I laugh as Spencer approaches and hold out my hand.

"You got married?"

"Yes!"

"Oh that's wonderful, Spencer, tell me you didn't get her pregnant?"

"No, mom, no." He laughs with her.

"Well I will want grandchildren."

"I don't think you have to worry on that."


	28. Chapter 28

**Thank you to ahowell1993 and tannerose5/lolyncut for reviewing! I will try to have the next chapter up within the next two days! **

**Chapter Twenty Eight**

The door opens just as I'm finishing a paper. It's Spencer checking in on me, weird. He's only been at work for an hour.

"Hey babe, I was just about to text you. Might run out later, do you want anything?"

"No I'm good. We got a case though. Not local. Hotch thought I should come check on you first."

"Oh." My heart drops in to my stomach. It's been four months since I was taken, three weeks since we got back from our honeymoon. But he hasn't had to leave the area once. He's been gone overnight but has always been at most two hours away. He pulls me against him and runs a hand through my hair.

"I'm sorry, I'll call and check in as much as I can. And I'll have Garcia stop in every day."

"Where?"

"Boise, Idaho."

"That's far."

"I know. I'm so sorry."

"It's the job. We both knew it would happen eventually. Just promise you'll come back to me. Be safe."

"I will. I promise. I love you so much."

"I love you too."

I help him pack his go bag and walk him to his car, taking my time when I kiss him goodbye. Neither of us wants to let go but we have to when his phone beeps. He reads a text. No doubt from Hotch.

"I've got to go. I'll call you as soon as I possibly can."

"I know."

...

I go on about my day pretty normally, Spencer texts me off and on and calls me around three in the afternoon. He says they're landing in about an hour and he will have to hit the ground running, but wanted to check in before they went over the case again. I do good until it gets to be time for bed. Then I really start missing Spencer. I'm sitting in bed reading when there's a knock at the door and immediately the hairs on the back of my neck stand. I creep to the door and look out the peephole before exhaling a sigh of relief and swinging the door open.

"Sorry Penelope. I'm just a little jumpy."

"I get it. Reid just wanted me to come by and check on you. I brought you some food too." She holds out a bag with take out containers.

"You like Chinese right?"

"Love it! Thanks. Do you want to come in?"

"I actually need to be getting back. But, I'll be by to check on you in the morning. Oh, and they should call it a night soon so Reid will get ahold of you when they do."

"Okay, thanks for letting me know."

I eat a lot faster than I realize and I don't know what they did to this food but it's awesome tonight. About the time I'm finishing up, Spencer calls to check on me and tell me goodnight. I go to bed soon after and have some really freaky dreams but I try to brush them off. I wake to a text from Chelsea. She wants to go out for coffee in a couple hours. Of course. I agree and text Spence to let him know I'm going out before I go to get ready. Garcia drops by for a few minutes to check on me again before going to work. I tell Chelsea to meet me at the coffee shop that's down the street from our building because for one, I really don't want to drive across town to her favorite one. And for two, I don't want to stray too far by myself with Spencer being gone. I get there ten minutes before her and when she walks in, I'm immediately annoyed. She's obviously on a mission. But I'm not telling her anything. I mean sure, we used to be best friends but honestly, if she can't support my life and trust me when I say Spencer would never hurt me, she's not the kind of friend I need.

"So are you gonna tell me what's up with you? I know I came across kind of bitchy last time, but I'm genuinely concerned."

"Nothing really. Just haven't been feeling well."

"Oh, I'm sorry. What's wrong?"

"Spencer hasn't done a thing to me. If anything, he's been perfect." I catch her looking at my hands and realize that I'm absentmindedly turning my ring.

"You got married?!"

"Yeah..."

"When did this happen?"

"A month ago...it was pretty sudden."

"Oh my god, are you pregnant?"

"No! Well, I don't think so. I mean we have been low key trying..."

"Why would you TRY?"

"Because, we want a baby." I tell her mater of factly. She looks absolutely dumbfounded. Which, if I'm being honest, amuses the hell out of me and actually thaws me out a lot.

"Why don't you walk home with me? I'll tell you the real story behind all the scars and stuff."

...

After I've recounted what happened with the kidnapping, Chelsea is gaping.

"I can't believe that happened to you. I am so so sorry for assuming that Spencer would..."

"Spencer saved me," I whisper softly. "He's been completely amazing."

"He saved you?"

"Yeah, they held me in a warehouse. And even though I was terrified, afraid for my life, and almost certain that I would die there, I knew that he would find me eventually. What he taught me is actually what saved my life."

"And what's that?"

"Don't show fear."

"Wait a second, he coached you on what to do if you were ever abducted?"

"No! It's not like that! Just from what he's told me about cases and, well you know how he is, lecturing me basically. I knew that they fit the profile of a typical sociopath. Meaning that they get off on the fear. And Spencer told me one time, the best way to beat a sociopath is to not show them an ounce of fear. That's what I did."

"But how-"

"By looking him in the eye."

"So you stared while..."

"The whole time. Until I was blindfolded. He didn't want me looking at him."

"Oh my god Ashleigh, have you talked to anyone about this?"

"Spencer. And his team. He had Hotch do a psychological evaluation."

"But why?"

"To make sure I was okay. And I am. For the most part. This is the first time he's been out of town since it happened."

"So your answer was to get married?"

"We had already been thinking about it for a while."

"But...kids? Are you sure you're ready for that? Don't you want to finish school and start a career?"

"I'm still working on a degree, and working online. But yes, I'm sure. I'm ready for whatever happens."

"Just make sure you're thinking everything through."

"I have. Don't worry. I hate to rush you off but Spence is probably going to call soon."

"Okay well, I'll go. Just call me if you need anything."

"Thanks."

...

I'm brushing my teeth when my phone rings and I almost don't get to it in time.

"Hey, everything okay?"

"Yeah. Just got sick. I think I may be coming down with a stomach bug or something."

"Drink lots of water and get plenty of rest. I'll have garcia bring you some soup or crackers or something and-"

"Chill out Spencer. I literally threw up once. No big deal. How's the case?"

"It's alright. I'm getting back into the swing of the field I guess."

"Good. I'll let you get to it. Video chat tonight?"

"Of corse. Love you babe."

"I love you too. Now, go catch your bad guy."

"I'll get right on that."

...

Garcia calls me around dinner time and tells me that she's been sent to the store so I go out on a limb.

"Would you mind picking me up and taking me with you? I need to pick something up."

"Oh honey, I won't tell boy genius anything you tell me."

"I need a pregnancy test."

"I'll be there in twenty. Pulling in the store now."


	29. Chapter 29

**Thank you to ahowell1993 and lolyncut for reviewing! **

**Chapter Twenty Nine**

I pace until Garcia comes knocking fifteen minutes later.

"Penelope! There's like ten tests here!"

"I've never done this so I just got you two of every thing."

"Well at least we should know for sure. Penelope, you have to swear you won't tell anybody. Please."

"I swear I won't."

I take the tests and she waits with me, which I'm grateful for. But right before I go to check them, she gets a call and has to leave fast. I check the tests and my suspicion is confirmed. Every one of them is positive. Garcia comes back a couple of hours later and tells me they're packing it in. I tell her the news and swear her to secrecy before she leave. Just as she's leaving, Spencer calls and tells me not to wait up. It'll be at least 2am before he's home. This is one night that I will have no trouble waiting up for him. I put nine of the pregnancy tests in a bag and put them in trash and hold one in my hand, walking around the apartment and looking for the perfect place to leave it. I have to find somewhere that he will go to immediately, before he even comes to check on me in bed. I know he will put his bag down at his desk so I perch the test on the corner beside where he sits case files he's working on. He will definitely see it. I'm laying across the bed reading when I hear the door open. I hear him owalk slowly and quietly across the living room. His bag plops on his desk and I jump out of bed and go to stand on the doorway of the living room, quietly watching him. He takes some files from his bag and goes to sit them down in his stack. That's when he sees he test and drops them in the floor. I'm leaning against the door grams smiling when he turns and looks at me.

"Is this? Are you?" He whispers and I approach in slowly.

"Yes," I whisper back.

"Oh my god!" He closes the distance between us and yanks me into a hug. He lifts me up and kisses me fiercely, spinning around in a circle.

"I can't believe it! How did this happen so fast? I mean- I KNOW how it happened but...oh I never expected. I hoped but I never-" Spencer honey, rambling.

"Ashleigh, this is...amazing." He's smiling from ear to ear and blanketing my face in kisses.

"I know! I know! I just couldn't wait to tell you!" I kiss him back and pull him toward the bed with me. We sit on the side of the bed kissing and whispering until an overwhelming urge comes over me and I shift, bruising him.

"Spencer.." I teach for his belt and he lets out a breath, reaching for the hem of my shirt.

"Now?"

"Yes. Now. I want you so bad right now."

...

When I wake up and raise my head, Spencer is staring down at me.

"What are you thinking about?"

"You. How you've made me so immensely happy."

"Spencer honey, I'm pregnant. It's not like I cured cancer or anything."

"It's just as good to me. Come on. Let me cook you breakfast."

"Actually, I'm not hungry for food..." I trail my hand down to the hem of his pants and he laughs.

"Hey Spence?" I'm breathless as he works his way down my body with his mouth.

"Mhm?"

"You never answered my question last night."

"What question was that?" He peels my panties off and kisses me softly.

"That. Why do you like doing it so much?"

"This?" He sticks his tongue out and I melt.

"Yeah, that."

"That's something for me to know and you to figure out." He smiles against my skin and presses his tongue against me.

"Spencer...please."

"Oh no, this is all about you."

...

I'm laying in bed, sated and smiling when I can smell food. I almost don't make it to the bathroom before I start lurching. Spencer must hear me because moments later he comes up behind me and pulls my hair out of my face.

"You need a rag?"

I just nod and he gets up, returning seconds later with a cold rag and putting it on the back of my neck. He hands me another to wipe my face with.

"Do you want some crackers instead?"

"Yes, please." I follow him out of the bedroom and plop down on he couch. He brings me some crackers and water, which I take gratefully.

"Is it bad that I kinda want to go again?" I laugh to hide the fact that I'm actually considering it.

"Not at all. I have read that pregnancy can increase sex drive."

"But do you even want to? I mean I just got done heaving all over the bathroom..."

"Good point. I'll go clean up, you eat your crackers. We can talk about this in a bit."

...

After lunch time I'm feeling a little better. We spend pretty much the entire morning and most of the afternoon looking at doctors until I'm exasperated.

"Why don't we just ask JJ? Didn't you say she was coming over in a few?"

"Yeah she wanted to check on you. Asked if you wanted to go out for coffee and I told her I wasn't sure."

"Call her back and tell her I'll be ready in a bit."

...

JJ takes me to a little cafe, about ten minutes away from our apartment.

"Spence mentioned you having a stomach bug, how are you feeling?"

"I'm good. Actually, it's not a stomach bug. I'm pregnant."

"What? Oh my god, congratulations! When did you find out?"

"Yesterday. I told Spencer last night."

"I bet he is over the moon."

"Oh yeah. He's absolutely ecstatic. We were actually wondering, could you point us in the direction of a good doctor?"

"Of corse." She pulls a piece of paper out of her purse and writes a phone number on it.

"Doctor Brewer is amazing."

"Male?"

"No, I combed the city until I found a female doctor that I liked."

"Oh good." JJs phone rings and she groans.

...

I help Spencer pack his go bag when I get home.

"Where?"

"LA. I'm sorry. We only got a day."

"Don't apologize. It's okay."

"So are you going to make an appointment with that doctor?"

"Yeah. I'll try to make it where you can come."

"Worst comes to worst you can still tell me all about it. I love you."

"Love you too. Be safe."

"Always."


	30. Chapter 30

**Thank you to ahowell1993 for reviewing! **

**Chapter Thirty **

I get a call from Spence and he says that they're headed home. Yesterday we discussed begging. I swear this pregnancy is going to turn me into an all out nymph. Spencer seemed to be intrigued by the thought. We literally had phone sec for the first time ever last night and he's been amused ever since. He said that he didn't think he would ever do that. I wake up in the middle of the night and look at the clock. One in the morning. I've got at least an hour before Spencer gets home and the thought has me excited already. I reach under my Alice of the mattress and pull out my new best friend. Just as I'm almost to my peak, I feel him behind me. He takes the vibrator out of my hand and wraps the other arm tightly around me, pinning me against him. I grind against him and I can feel his breath tickle my neck when he whispers.

"You wanted to know why I like to kiss you between your legs?"

"Yes," I whimper.

"Because I like feeling you squirm under me. And it's an amazing view."

"Huh?"

"You heard me. And you may not even realize it, but when you're close, your clit will throb. Are you throbbing now?"

"Spencer, please...please will you?"

"Will I what?"

"You know..." I whimper and move against him, trying desperately to create more friction.

"No I don't. Say it."

"Fuck me."

"All you have to do is ask." He shifts so he's on top of me and eases into me. He makes me hold on until I'm hanging by a thread too.

"Let go baby," he rasps in my ear.

...

When I come to myself I'm sprawled across his chest listening to his breathing slow.

"What time is it?"

"Almost three. You should get some sleep. You're sleeping for two now." He brushes a hand through my hair and kisses the top of my head.

"Spencer, that was-"

"I know. Amazing."

"I love you."

"I love you too. Now, get to sleep."

...

I'm in the shower when Spencer comes in the bathroom to shave.

"So you never told me when your appointment is."

"It's actually today."

"Wait, that's where we're going?"

"Yeah, I was gonna keep it a surprise. I didn't want you to get excited and then recalled and have to miss it."

"You're too sweet."

...

We get to the office and I notice a stark contrast between Spencer and some of the other men here. There's five men total including Spence. Two are completely engrossed in their phones, obviously here against their will. Two are trying to at least pretend to be interested, but then there's Spencer. He hasn't broken contact with me. Wether it be holding my hand or rubbing my knee. He's been whispering excitedly to me the entire time. We're taken back and throughout the entire appointment I catch Spencer taking mental notes. We find out that I'm only about five weeks and I'm told that since my morning sickness started so early and so aggressively that I should be prepared for it to worsen. After my appointment we go to the store and I have to all but drag Spencer out. He's so concerned with the "proscribed list of foods" that his logic has obviously been skewed. It takes me almost ten minutes to convince him that I couldn't eat this much in a month. When we get home he doesn't let me lift a finger carrying the groceries in. I sit back on the couch. And watch him mull around for a while. He brings me a bowl full of fruit after a few minutes.

"Eat. I haven't seen you take a bite all day."

"So bossy." I roll my eyes and oblige, when I'm about half way through Spencer's phone rings. Just like that, they're called away again.


	31. Chapter 31

**Thank you to ahowell1993 for reviewing. I have a question for you all. I am tossing around the idea of doing a series of flashbacks to earlier in their relationship. This would be told from both pov. This would not take away from the story but add some cute 'fillers' in between all of the drama and such. Let me know what you think!**

**Chapter Thirty One**

I work for a little while before taking a bath and curling up on the couch to wait for Spencer to call. But they're somewhere on the Appalachian trail so who knows when that will be. Granted, Spence usually stays close to the station. For the past three weeks they've only been home four days. It's crazy how they will have a month solid where they don't have to leave the area, then next thing you know it's like they've disappeared. There was actually one night last week where Spencer called to let me know they were coming home. Two hours later he called and said never mind, they'd turned the jet around. I try to wrap my head around the past month. They've had six cases in three weeks. This is the seventh. JJ has been reassigned. Hotch and Garcia are pulling double duty. Well, everybody is. Nobody realized how much JJ actually had on her plate. The whole thing has given Spencer terrible headaches. Although, he's not saying much to me about it, he just brushes it off. But I know it's happening. I look around the room and smile to myself, remembering how much has changed in the past year and a half.

**Flashback**

I walk nervously behind Spencer and we stop at a door at the top of the stairs. He unlocks the door and leads me inside. It's impeccably clean yet homey. Everything in here is earthy or muted. From the dark book shelves to the hardwood floors. He sits his bag on his desk right inside the door and turns to me.

"It's not very big but-"

"It's cozy," I smile at him and take his hand, leading him to sit on the couch with me.

"Do you uhm...want a drink or anything?"

"Water?"

"I can do that." He jumps up a little more enthusiastic than expected and returns with two glasses of water, downing his pretty fast.

"Sorry, I'm just nervous."

"Me too,"

"Wanna watch a movie?"

"Sure." He scrolls through the tv before he lands on some random documentary about the 14th century French court, which we actually get into pretty easy. After a few minutes he puts an arm around me and I lean into his chest. Pretty soon we've shifted until we are completely laying down. When the credits are playing at the end he looks down at me and tilts my chin up to kiss me. It deepens and I find him on top of me with his hands threaded through my hair when we pull away breathless.

"I'm sorry. That was inappropriate." He tries to pull away but I tighten my hold on him.

"No. It's okay. That was perfectly appropriate."

**End flashback **

That was a great day. We ended up spending the rest of the time kissing until he drove me home. That's the first time I remember dreaming of him in that way. My phone ringing startles me out of my trance.

"Hey Spence, you good?"

"Yeah. I'm okay. We're finishing up here now."

"You don't sound good."

"Just a hard case. I'll be okay. See you soon."

"Yeah...love you."

"Love you too."

...

I'm jolted awake when I feel Spencer running a hand through my hair.

"Shh. It's just me."

"What time is it?"

"Seven. You must be tired."

"I tried to wait up..."

"Baby you're pregnant. You really should be getting more rest."

"I know...how's your head?"

"Good?"

"I just think you should get checked out."

"I will if it doesn't get any better."

"I just don't want you to get so caught up in taking care of me that you forget about yourself."

"I know, lets go to bed?"

"To sleep?" I stand and he wraps an arm around me.

"I was thinking of another activity..." he gazed down at me and it clicks.

"Far be it from me to deny my sexy husband."

"Good answer." He bends and sweeps me off of my feet, making me squeal in delight.

...

I wake with a jolt to Spencer out of breath and murmuring beside me. When I touch his shoulder, he screams and lashes out, smacking my hand away. Oh shit. It's the dream.

"Spencer! Spencer wake up!" He's not responding to me and I realize I'm going to have to touch him so I decide to get it over with. I grab his shoulders and sit up beside him, shaking him but he still won't wake up.

"Spencer! Spencer please! Wake up!" By the time he opens his eyes, hot tears are streaming down both of our faces and he's gasping for air. I sit in front of him and stroke his face. He's sitting up and he leans his forehead against mine. He feels really clammy. After his breathing slows I reach and brush the hair out of his face. He sits back and looks at me. Eyes still damp and puffy.

"Wanna talk about it?"

"The case just hit a nerve. Some are like that."

"Talk about it. You know you need to get it out."

"Anytime it's kids it hits a nerve. Every one of us has a type of case that bugs us the most."

"And for you it's kids?"

"Yes."

"Because you were victimized as a kid."

He drops his head and and nods. His hair blankets around his face and his voice is a broken whisper.

"Yes. I thought I was past this."

"What is it that you tell me Gideon used to say?"

"There are some things that attach to you that you just can't wash away."

"And?"

"Those things make you who you are."

"You need to believe that, Spencer. You may never get past the horrible things that happened to you, but you will learn to cope."

"How long will that take?"

"It's only been seven months."

"It happened when I was a kid."

"I know that. I mean it's only been seven months since you admitted it and even started to deal with it. Spencer, you don't get over a twenty year old repressed memory overnight. Especially not one so traumatic."

"I'm not weak," he shakes his head violently. Oh no. Time to reign him back in.

"No, no you aren't. You are absolutely the strongest person I've ever known. Do you have any idea the kind of courage it takes to be through everything you've been through. To do what you do day in and day out?"

"There are five other members of my team. They've all seen the same things."

"And I'm sure they all freak out sometimes. When you stop being affected by your job, I'll be worried."

"We've got another briefing in the morning..." I look at the clock. It's only midnight.

"It's okay. I'll make you some tea."

"Thanks..."

...

We wake at 4am and just hold eachother. He whispers lovingly in my ear, and to my belly. We share chaste, tender kisses and snuggle until the alarm goes off at 6:30. Spencer groans and goes into the shower. I busy myself with pancakes until he comes out dressed, go bag slung over his shoulder. He plops his bag down beside the door and turns to take me into his arms.

"You look good in my shirt Mrs. Reid."

"You look in my scarf, Mr. Reid." I perch up on my toes and give him a peck on the lips.

"That's Doctor." He runs his nose along mine before he releases me.

"And as I recall, you got out scarfs mixed. I will admit though, I take it on purpose now so you're always with me, and as our own inside joke."

"Maybe that's why I took yours on purpose at the coffee shop. To keep you with me." I smile, remembering that day at the coffee shop. We'd been seeing each other for about a month and he got called away to New York. He left in a hurry and grabbed my scarf up from beside the table. I noticed, but I didn't correct him. The next night I held it and cried when I heard about the bombings and couldn't reach Spencer to check on him. I think that was the moment I realized I love him.

"Hey, what's on your mind?"

"Just reminiscing." He's finished eating and I turn to make his coffee.

"Try to get some rest. I'll call you from the plane."

"Be safe. I love you."

"I will. Love you too." He gives me one more kiss before hurrying out the door.


	32. Chapter 32

**Thank you to ahowell1993 for reviewing! **

**Chapter Thirty Two**

**Spencer POV**

I rush into the conference room as everyone gives me sideways glances. "Hey, sorry I'm late. I was at the doctor with Ashleigh." I'm definitely not going to mention the fact that after her appointment I dropped her off and went to one of my own before coming here.

"It's okay Reid. I didn't realize she was still seeing the therapist." I watch JJ and Garcia exchange a glance and smile to theirselves. But they won't tell.

"She isn't, I took her to see her obstetrician." I try not to act like a lunatic at work, but just saying that sentence makes my stomach do flips.

"No way," Morgan exclaims and jumps up from the table to hug me.

"My man!" Everyone gives congratulations before we sit down to work.

...

They're on their way to Miami and Spencer has already texted me telling me to be prepared for a dinner at Rossi's when they're home. I've been remembering our past a lot lately. Maybe it's because of the pregnancy. Now I am thinking of the first time Spencer told me he loves me.

**flashback**

I let myself in to Spencer's apartment, he texted me and told me they had a case so he's probably already gone. My room mate and I have been arguing lately and of course you can't hide anything from a profiler. He gave me a key 'in case you need somewhere to go' and this is the first time I've decided to actually use it. I run my hand along his bookshelves, which are packed tight, before finally settling on one. I stand in the middle of the room flipping through it.

"See anything you like?" Spencer's voice makes me jump.

"You startled me."

"I'm sorry...I didn't hear you come in. You okay?"

"Yeah, I will be."

"Do you wanna talk about it?"

"I'll be alright. You should get to work. Is it okay if I stay here for a few hours?"

"Stay as long as you like."

"Are you sure?"

"Of course I'm sure. I should get going though. I'll text you."

"Thanks. Be careful?"

"Always." He crosses the room to hug me and before I realize what I'm doing, I shoot up on my top toes and kiss him.

"I love you, Ashleigh." His voice is a whisper and I watch his expression change when he realizes he's said it aloud.

"I love you too, Spencer." I give him one more kiss before his phone rings, prompting him to run out the door.

The next morning I woke up in his bed to him looking at me intently.

"When did you get back?"

"About four this morning."

"What time is it now?"

"Seven. I found you on the couch and moved you to the bed. I hope that's okay."

"Did we?"

"No. You just slept and I napped. I promise I only touched you when I carried you to bed."

"Oh." I look down and there's at least six inches of space between us. I shouldn't be so surprised. We've discussed boundaries in length because he's so afraid of offending me. He would never even cuddle with me without knowing I was okay with it.

"I was starting to worry about you. I hadn't heard from you. And then you called last night but I thought it would be another day."

"We got a break in the case. I meant what I said yesterday, I do love you."

"I know. And I love you too."

**end flashback**

...

As soon as we're inside at Rossi's, I am flooded with questions. I tell everyone that I'm ten weeks tomorrow and there's a massive discussion over wether it's a boy or a girl. Everyone is floored by the fact that Garcia was able to keep a secret for almost six weeks. We all eat, everyone else drinks, and we end up playing games, laughing, and joking around for hours. At one point I go out for some air and Garcia follows.

"You okay? How's my little niece?"

"It could be a nephew. And I'm alright. Just needed some air."

"Nobody has said it but I know everyone is thinking it."

"What would that be?"

"Well I'm sure everyone is hoping that baby doesn't take after Reid with his big head. For your sake." I burst out laughing and Garcia gapes at me, genuinely confused.

"I think you've been hitting that jager a little too hard, Penelope."


	33. Chapter 33

**Thank you to ahowell1993 for reviewing! **

**Chapter Thirty three **

I've finally convinced Spencer to let me go with him to the doctor and it's not going well. Turns out he had a CT scan and they're now trying to convince him that his headaches are psychosomatic. This is agitating him and is making his current headache worse.

"Come on honey, let's just go. We can get a second opinion." He relents and follows me to the car, tossing me the keys.

"I can't drive right now."

"I wouldn't want you to."

When we get back home he lays on the couch and I bring a rag and put it on his forehead.

"I'm not crazy. I know what mental illness looks like and I don't have it."

"I know that. We will find an answer."

"Do you think I'm losing it?"

"Absolutely not."

"This is the age when schizophrenic breaks happen."

"You're not having a break. Just calm down. It's probably hypertension headaches. You wouldn't know it because you haven't checked that. You're assuming the worst but it might be as simple as blood pressure."

"So you're a medical professional now?" This sets me off.

"No Spencer. I don't have a PhD. That doesn't mean I'm an idiot. You know, just because I don't have an IQ of 187, doesn't mean I can't help you with a headache. I think I have the mental capacity to offer you more than a cold rag!"

"I wasn't implying-"

"Yes you were, Spencer. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go lay down. That's what you prescribed, right?"

"Ashlei-" he starts to get up but I stop him.

"Don't touch me." I turn on my heel and storm into the bedroom, slamming the door behind me. I lay on the bed and stare at the wall for a few minutes. After a while there's a soft knock on the door.

"Um, Ashleigh, can I come in?"

"I can't stop you." He comes and sits in front of me on the edge of the bed. He puts a hand on my side and looks down at me.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you."

"I overreacted."

"You've been crying. I should be more careful about how I phrase things. I'm really sorry." He reaches up and runs his thumb under my eye.

"I'm pregnant. It's just hormones."

"Love you."

"I love you too."

"Is there anything you need?"

"Some water?"

"Coming right up."

"You're dressed again?"

"I've got a briefing."

"Of course you do."

"I could always sit this one out?"

"No. I'm just having mood swings. I'll be alright. Go. Your team needs you."

"I'll bring you some water before I leave."

"Thanks."

...

I take a bath and sit on the couch scrolling through my laptop while I wait for Spencer to call me. I decide to text him, to speed up the process.

'Is it weird that I'm already looking at baby stuff?'

"Absolutely not. We should take a shopping trip when I get home.'

'Sounds like a date. 3'

He calls after a few minutes and we talk for about an hour. He tells me he loves me and wishes me goodnight before getting back to work.


	34. Chapter 34

**Thank you to ahowell1993 for reviewing!**

**Chapter Thirty Four **

I lay in bed and can hear Spencer playing his new keyboard quietly. Ever since he had that case with the artistic boy, he's been trying to learn. He's actually getting pretty good. If he would stop worrying about perfection, it would come easier. Over the past three weeks, we've noticed a few changes. The best would be the little bump that I have now. He comes into the bedroom and sits down on the edge of the bed before tilting his head down and kissing me right on my belly button.

"I love you, be good for mommy and don't keep her up too much, she needs her rest."

"Mommy needs you to come home safely."

"I will," he smiles and kisses my lips.

"Love you."

"Love you too."

...

Spencer has been gone for two days. I haven't heard from him since last night which is strange. I can't get ahold of any of the team. Not even Garcia. Im sitting in front of the TV, flipping through every news channel I can find when there's a tap at the door. Oh no. I open the door to find Spencer on the other side. His eyes are puffy and he looks like a wreck. I can tell he's been through the ringer and he's been crying.

"I left my keys at work," he sniffles before new tears flow down his face.

"Oh, Spencer. What happened?"

"Emily...we tried to save her but...we were too late. Morgan couldn't...oh God." His dam bursts and he looses it. I stand in the doorway holding him and shushing until I notice people are walking by so I pull him inside with me and lock the door behind us before leading him to the couch.

"Oh Spence, baby. I'm so so sorry."

"I feel sick." He rushes into the bathroom and I hear him gagging so I go to check on him and I find him crouched over the toilet. I sit on the bathtub and rub his back until he sits back on his heels to look at me.

"We are supposed to get funeral arrangements tomorrow. Ambassador Prentiss is pretty efficient about things."

"You wanna talk about it?"

"Yes. Actually, that would be great."

"Come on, you want tea?"

"Please."

We sit on the couch and I just let him vent.

"You know, I told her yesterday about my headaches. For some reason I always believed that she was the one person on the team that I could confide in. Not because of anything she had done differently. Just because she never treated me like a baby or called me kid or anything."

"Do you feel like they treat you that way?"

"I mean yeah, sometimes. I'm backwards and I have my own way about me. So sometimes I feel like I don't always get it when they're just having a normal conversation. But Emily never chastised me for the way that I am. I guess it's always been the joke since I joined the BAU at 21. For a long time I WAS the kid because I was the youngest guy in the room. Even though I'm still the youngest member of OUR team, I'm not the youngest in the BAU in general anymore."

"Have you told anyone how you feel?"

"I don't think they do it maliciously. And honestly, I don't mind it most of the time I find it amusing. It's just when I have a problem I don't want them trying to fix me all of the time."

"I get it."

"What are we going to do? JJ was already recalled back to the pentagon. She has to go back after the funeral. She was actually in dereliction of duty by even helping us find Emily. Now we're down two agents. Two field agents at that."

"Please tell me that they're letting the entire team take a sabbatical."

"Yeah. We don't know how long though."

He starts to cry again and I take his tea cup from him, sitting it on the coffee table next to mine. I gently pull on his arm and he curls up beside me with his head in my lap. I have no words. I find myself racked with grief too, I've come to care for the entire team as if they were family. But I can't break down. I have to be staring for Spencer. Just like he was strong for me when I needed him most. I run my hands through his hair and whisper to him softly as I watch the sun rise. We've been here all night and his sobs are finally starting to slow.

"Will you please come with me?"

"Where?"

"To the funeral. I know I don't normally ask you to do things like this and I know that it'll be very small and-"

"I'll go. Spencer, I'll go for you."

"You have no idea how much you mean to me."

"I think I have an inkling. I love you, Spencer Reid."

"And I love you, Ashleigh Reid."

...

It's a week later and Spencer hasn't even left the house. I've been doing all of the errands. Which I don't mind at all and I actually enjoy the fresh air. But I'm worried about him. I'm dressed in black and we're standing at the foot of the bed. I'm trying desperately to fix Spencer's tie because his hands won't stop shaking long enough for him to do it himself. When I'm finally satisfied I release him and he goes to get in the top drawer of my side of the dresser. He takes out my purple scarf and drapes it over his shoulders before sliding on his over coat.

"Let's get this day over with."

"I told Rossi we would come over after the funeral."

"Why would I want to do that? I've barely been able to get off of the couch for the past week."

"Which is why you need to see your friends. You need to see them alive and well to remind yourself that you aren't alone."

"I hate it when you're right. Fine. We can go. But we're only staying for an hour."

"That's all I ask."

...

After the funeral is over, I drive us over to Rossi's house where we have a quiet dinner in the back yard at a large round table. I should feel weird. Being the only non team member here. I don't. Eventually, Spencer thaws out and he's absentmindedly rubbing my belly under the table as he's laughing and reminiscing with everyone else. Once we're home he wraps his arms tightly around me.

"Thank you for knowing what I needed."

"Thank you for being open to suggestion. I know it only numbs the pain for a short time, but if you keep allowing yourself the opportunity to feel the least bit better, then eventually you will feel better. Sure, you'll have bad days here and there but it WILL get better Spencer."

"I love you so much."

"I love you too. Now, let's get to bed okay?"

"Lets. Oh and Hotch said we get three weeks. Maybe we can do some baby talking?"

"Sounds nice." I give him a peck before he follows me into the bedroom and we change into pajamas, curling up in bed, our limbs tangling together as we succumb to the exhaustion of the day.


	35. Chapter 35

**Thank you to ahowell1993 for reviewing! **

**Chapter Thirty Five**

Spencer and I sit across from each other at the kitchen island. He's decompressing and saying random things. I'm pretty much piecing it together. They had an unsub who was a schizophrenic. The profile and the way that the team handled it rubbed him wrong. His headaches have become unbearable. When I suggest going to a doctor in the morning he snaps at me before quickly apologizing. So I just sit across from him for the rest of the night and listen to him vent. Eventually when he sees the sunrise he starts brewing coffee.

"If I go see a doctor will you take a nap afterward? I don't like you staying up all night Ashleigh, you really need your rest."

"Spencer, there's a lot to do. I still have to work. And I have school work too."

"What if you didn't work?"

"Okay, now you're talking crazy."

"I can support us both just fine."

"Can we discuss this later? We've both been up all night, and no offense but you're as grumpy as I am." Not to mention how emotionally raw we both are.

"Okay." We take turns showering and I make him an appointment with a PCP. Probably something he hasn't done in years. I manage to get him in first thing so we leave pretty quick. They do blood work and run some routine tests. The doctor decides to have him come back in a week to check his blood pressure again, but he's pretty sure it's hypertension. When we get back to the car, it finally hits me how exhausted I am. By the time we get home I'm leaning my head on Spencer's shoulder as he's driving, halfway asleep.

"We're home."

"Looks that way," I mutter sleepily.

"Do you want me to carry you?" He sounds amused.

"That'd be nice."

I bury my face in his chest when he picks me up and I feel his breath hitch. He carries me up the stairs with ease and I breathe him in. When we get to the bedroom he lays me gently down and starts to turn away but I grab his shirt and stop him, pulling him down on top of me instead.

"I want you."

"You need to sleep."

"All the more reason for you to wear me out." I smile at him defiantly and he relents, smothering me with kisses.

...

I am sprawled across Spencer's chest and he's playing with my hair.

"I need to get up and do some work."

"Okay..."

He gets up and slides some sweat pants on before he goes into the living room and I toss and turn for over an hour. I finally get up out of bed and slip his discarded t shirt. I go out into the living room and bend over his shoulder, wrapping my arms around him. He puts his pen down and tugs on my arm, pulling me around to sit in his lap. I keep my arms draped around his neck and kiss the corner of his mouth.

"Come to bed."

"Ashleigh..."

"Please...I miss you so much when you're gone and it's just...I need you to hold me."

"Okay," he whispers and gives me a chaste kiss before picking me up and carrying me back to bed. I curl into his chest and he wraps his arms tightly around me before kissing the top of my head.

"Sleep, sweet girl. I love you so much."

"I love you too. So so much." I kiss the crook of his neck before resting my head there and closing my eyes.


	36. Chapter 36

**Chapter Thirty Six**

It's been eight weeks since Emily's death and Spencer is finally coming to terms. JJ was just reinstated at the BAU yesterday. Hotch pulled some major strings to get her back but it's been a source of happiness for everyone. There was a dinner party at Rossi's last night to celebrate and I've agreed to go out with JJ and Garcia today to do a little bit of shopping. I'm only 20 weeks so we still have all kinds of time, but I will admit the bigger I get, the more real it becomes. We go into a little store in the mall and I'll admit, this kind of makes me want to know the gender. They go on a tangent about planning a gender reveal party and I tell them that I'll just have to think about it and talk to Spencer. Just one more month and everyone gets a vacation. Meaning that's when Spencer and I will do a lot of our baby prepping. He says I can do it without him but I know how excited he is so I decided early on that I would wait until vacation time. In the wake of Prentiss's death and with everything else the team has been through, they're getting two weeks. We plan on getting all we can done in the first week and then going to see Spencer's mom for a few days. We're in another baby store when I make the decision. This gender reveal is happening.

"Okay. I'm going to let you come with us to my appointment tomorrow, Penny. If that's okay with you."

"That is perfectly fine with me!"

...

"A gender reveal?"

"Yeah. We figured it would be fun."

"You told me you didn't want to know. We mulled over it for weeks."

"Yeah but I know how bad you want to know."

"I told you, it's completely your call."

"I just made the call. Besides, when I was in that store, looking at all of the baby stuff. I wanted to buy it all. That's when I realized how bad I wanted to know."

...

Three weeks later and we're all gathered at Rossi's house. Everyone casts their votes before we cut into the cake and it's a girl! Spencer picks me up and swings me around, chuckling. After all is said and done, we spend the rest of the night cuddled up in bed, looking at baby girl things.

...

I shake my head at Spencer as he's rattling of statistics about cribs. It takes us two hours and three stores, but we finally settle on one that's up to his safety standards. It's all white with a changing table attached to it. Then comes the mattress dilemma. Once we make it over that hurdle, we head home to set up the crib and move some things around. We end up rearranging our bedroom and putting the crib on the wall opposite the foot of our bed.

"I need to try and find us a bigger place."

"Maybe in a year or so. Really, I don't see the point in rushing to move. We will want her in the room with us until she's at least two."

"I see you've been reading the information I gave you on SIDS." He sounds impressed.

"What am I going to do with you?"

"I'll let you be the judge of that. But I do have a few suggestions." He folds me in his arms and backs me toward the bed.

...

When we arrive at the sanitarium, Spencer stays behind to talk to the doctors as I go ahead to see his mother. The second she lays eyes on me, her face lights up.

"I wasn't expecting a visit."

"Well, we're here now. How've you been?"

"Alright. I can see you're working on grandchildren."

"Looks like it." I give her the run down and she's just as excited as Spencer was to hear that we're having a girl.

...

We spend the whole day with Diana before leaving right at bedtime. I get confused when he doesn't stop at any hotels. Instead he's driving out of the city.

"Where are we going?"

"Back to the mountains." He gives me a sly smile as he watches my face

"The mountains?"

"Yep."

"Just the two of us?"

"Mhm."

"No phones?"

"No phones. Just me and you and 72 hours of peace."

"You really are the best."

"I have my moments." He lifts my hand to his lips and kisses my knuckles.

"I just thought it would be good to get away before the baby comes."

"You thought right."

...

We're on the plane back home and even though everyone else around us is asleep, we can't stop talking about babies. We talk about everything from birth plan to breast feeding. I want to have a natural birth but I can tell that makes Spencer really uncomfortable.

"I just don't want to put you in a position where you could possibly trigger ptsd from what happened."

"I understand that but this is what I want to do. Besides, if it gets to be too much I can always ask for medication."

"Only up to a certain point."

"How about this, we discuss is with the doctor next time we go?"

"Do you just not want to argue in front of people?"

"Kind of. I can see this going south. And I like to keep us behind closed doors. Don't want everyone knowing our business."

"I feel the same way. You have a good point."

"I know. Now, in the meantime I need you to stop reading all of those medical journals and studies on deliveries gone wrong."

"I just want to run through every probability."

"Spencer, stop worrying yourself to death okay?"

"Okay..."

...

When we return home, he works for a while and I decide to go ahead and pack up his go bag since he's going back to work tomorrow. I know it'll be the first day back but it never fails, they always end up with a case right off the bat. We end up not sleeping at all. We just hold each other all through the night, silently bracing for tomorrow when our bubble will burst and he will have to go back to all of the evil and depravity the world has to offer.


	37. Chapter 37

**Thank you to ahowell1993 and lolyncut for reviewing! I would like to add that when it comes to Ashleigh, I have modeled her after myself. I have terrible anxiety when it comes to my child and she will be the same way. Which is why she is set on having the baby in their room. Granted, they may get a bigger place later on. But nothing is set in stone. **

**Chapter Thirty Seven**

I am woken at three in the morning to the sound of my phone ringing and pounding on the door.

"Ashleigh! Ashleigh! Open this door! Come on girl! It's Derek!" I get up and as I'm racing to the door, I hear voices in the hallway.

"I'm kicking it in, Hotch. She's still not answering. Tell Reid to keep trying to call her."

"Morgan! I'm coming!"

"Never mind. I got her. Be there in Thirty. Yeah. Yeah. Got it."

I'm opening the door as he's putting his phone back in his pocket.

"We've got to go, now."

"What? Where's Spencer?"

"Back at the BAU. Hotch sent me and Rossi to gather up all family members in the immediate area."

"Oh no, not again."

"Do you have a bag?"

"Yeah. In the closet." I hurry to put on my coat and shoes as he goes into the bedroom to grab my bag and my phone. Makes sense that they would send him for extractions. He's basically an underpaid GI joe who happens to be booksmart too. He drives on the sidewalk half the way back to the BAU. Jack is in the back seat with me and he's loving it. Rossi, not so much. Will is apparently already there with Henry. We make it there in record time Spencer is down in the parking garage waiting for me. He opens my door and wraps an arm around me, quickly sweeping me away from the rest of the team and taking me upstairs, into a private interview room.

"Spencer, what's happening? Is it-"

"No. Don't talk. Just listen." His face and tone make me blanche and I sit back into the small love seat. He sits across from me in a black arm chair, weird, and takes a few breaths.

"What I am about to tell you will either make you faint or fly off the handle. Ashleigh. I need you to stay calm for me. And for the baby."

"Spencer just tell me!"

"Emily is alive. JJ and Hotch faked her death to get Doyle off of her trail. But now there's a boy that she supports who's Doyle's son. He is in danger. She came out of hiding to protect him."

I am absolutely speechless. All I can do is gape at him while e continues.

"No matter how any of us feel, we need to worry about the boy first and fight later. Can you do that for me?"

"Yes," I lie and he lets out a breath I didn't know he was holding.

"Good. I need to get back to work. Make yourself comfortable. Love you."

"Love you too."

Long after he is gone, I am haunted by the sight of his eyes. They were so filled with pain and hurt and betrayal. Something I've also only seen twice the whole time I've known him, burning rage. Spencer doesn't get angry. He gets irritated, sure. Annoyed? All the time. But pure, untampered rage? Never. I've only seen that look twice on his face. Once, when they were interrogating my captors. And the first time was when I saw him with his father. Seeing the emotion in his eyes makes my heart still ache for him. Watching him fidget, run his eyes, and put his face in his hands showed me that he's having a headache. Probably the worst one yet. These two things together lock my shattered heart and make me want to kill Emily for what she has done to my husband. I would make sure it stuck, too. As for JJ, she can burn in hell. I might just send her there too. Garcia comes to check on me and finds me pacing back and forth.

"Ashleigh! Your whole face is red. You need to sit down."

"Don't tell me what the fuck to do, Penelope!"

"Oh shit." She turns and shuts the door behind her. I can hear her heels clicking as she runs away. It's then when I realize that I can't catch my breath so I sit down on the edge of the couch and put my head between my knees. A few moments later, I hear the same familiar clicking, accompanied by another set of footsteps. Boots. Morgan. He comes barreling through the door and across the room to me. He crouched down in front of me and holds my head in his hands.

"Look at me, look at me, look at me. Come on baby, show me your eyes." I slowly raise my head, just enough to look him in the eye.

"Baby Girl! Go get a blood pressure cuff from that first aid box in the hallway. Garcia returns within seconds and Morgan works to check it.

"Oh, no no no. Listen to me, I need you to lay flat on your back and breathe for me, okay?" I nod and lay down, closing my eyes and taking deep breaths. I don't know how long we sit like this but Morgan holds my hand the entire time and alternates between checking my blood pressure and talking to Garcia.

They decide not to alert Spencer when my BP starts to drop because it would just stress him out more. After a few minutes, Morgan tries to get me talking.

"What is it? What made you freak out like that?"

"Emily. If that's even her real name."

"We told him that it would be alright to tell you...I had no idea you'd take it this hard."

"I didn't take it this hard. But Spencer has. And I saw the look in his eyes Derek. He is completely broken." As soon as the last word is out of my mouth I have an idea.

"Can I go and see Spencer? I just want to check on him. And go for a walk. I could use some tea."

"Sure, come on."

We walk down the hallway and Morgan opens the glass doors for me. I calmly go to the little coffee station and put some hot water in a cup before picking out a tea bag. We go up the small set of steps and walk around the top of the bullpen to the conference room. I find Spencer hunched over a map frowning while JJ reads through a file.

"Oh hey Ashl-"

"Don't. Don't speak to me."

"Okay, Spence. You need to do something about her."

"I don't see the problem." He gives her a cold stare before turning and gazing at me.

"You alright?"

"Yeah, I just needed to go for a walk and I wanted to check on you."

"I'm alright. Really." He leans over and kisses my forehead. About that time, I hear Penelope whisper to Derek.

"Oh no. Get her out of here." I turn to see Prentiss walking into the conference room. Spencer and Derek both turn to grab me but they are too slow. Before anyone, including me, realizes what's happening, I've thrown my hot tea in her face and I'm lunching for her. Granted it's not scalding. But it's hot enough to get the point across. Spencer and Derek each get ahold of one of my arms and pull me back, but not before I got a couple of punches in and ripped out a handful of hair when they were dragging me off. JJ whisks Emily out of the room and they make me sit down on the couch in the corner of the room.

"Okay, okay, you're okay now." Spencer is holding my head against his chest and I'm still screaming after Emily.

"Get back here! Get her back here!" I'm trying desperately to push Spencer away and squirm out of his grasp but he's holding me too tight. I do manage to stand up though but he's not going to let go.

"Spencer! Get your fucking hands off me! I'll kill her I swear I'll kill her!"

"Ashleigh stop!" He yells and startled me back to reality before turning me back to face him and taking my face in his hands.

"I know you're pissed. I know you're hurt. But you have got to calm the fuck down NOW!" My heart feels like it's going to beat out of my chest before everything goes black.

...

I wake up in a hospital room and my head is pounding. Spencer is sitting next to my bed.

"What happened?"

"You got really agitated and you started screaming and throwing things and you gave Emily a black eye after you threw hot tea on her. I tried to restrain you can calm you down but you just got more enraged and you had an episode. The doctor said the stress caused your blood pressure to skyrocket. Which in turn cause you to faint."

"Is the baby..."

"She's perfectly fine now. You can't do that anymore though. You have got to keep yourself in check for sake of the baby."

"What about for your sake?" I snap at him and he recoils.

"That's not fair."

"It's perfectly fair! I have the right to defend my husband!"

"Yes. You do. But you've got to keep your emotions in check for the sake of the baby okay? Please don't go off like that again. Promise me. Promise me that you'll try."

"I promise." He breathes a sigh of relief and pulls out his phone. He has to get back but they've sent Anderson to guard my room.


	38. Chapter 38

**Thank you to ahowell1993 for reviewing! By the way, in this chapter I will be referring to the teleflora desert sunrise bouquet. You can find it on their website here-**

bouquet/telefloras-desert-sunrise-bouquet?categoryId=cat210106&prodID=P_TEV55-6A

**Chapter Thirty Eight**

Emily has been back and the entire team has been suspended for a month now. I am sitting on the couch when Spencer comes out of the bedroom, dressed and ready to walk out the door.

"Well. I guess it's time to get this over with."

"Do you think you will be reinstated?"

"There's a high probability. But I'm not going to beg them to reinstate me like everyone else."

"That's respectable."

"Thanks. I hope they see it that way."

He leaves and I'm left to reflect on the past few weeks. He is still heartbroken and I'm still pissed off. Over time though, I can tell he's hardened a bit. Now he flat out trusts nobody. I have to remind myself that he still trusts me. Chelsea and I text back and forth but I really don't want to talk to her. I'm just trying to be nice. Between Emily and JJ I've gotten 84 voicemails and over 100 texts over the past twenty one days. I know this because I haven't opened a single text or listened to a single voicemail. Spencer has talked to each of them twice. He talks to Derek and I talk to Penelope daily. We've each heard from Rossi. Well I've heard from him once when I answered Spencer's phone because he was in the shower. But Spence has talked to him pretty regularly. He has checked in with Hotch a few times a week and I laugh when I think of how Hotch contacted me. There was a sharp knock at the door and when I answered it, there wasn't a soul in the hallway. I looked down and found a beautiful bouquet. The card was a plea to see Jack. He's been asking for me. I agreed and now he's coming over next week to spend the day. I begin to watch the clock. He's been gone for five hours and hasn't checked in. I am thirty three weeks now and Spencer has spent a lot of time curled up beside me with his head in my lap over the past month. We've been having to go to the doctor once a week now and they've not put me on bed rest but I'm taking it easy. When Jack comes next week I've planned to have a "pajama day" with him and let him eat junk food and watch movies and play games the whole day. That way he still gets to spend time with me and I can still take it easy. Spencer has been so attentive that it's almost obsessive. I am just rolling with it though because I know he needs to channel his negative energy into something positive. The door opens slowly and I turn to see Spencer walking through it.

"Hey honey, how did it go?"

"Good. We've all been reinstated. Effective immediately."

"Your leaving?"

"Not tonight. I'm sure there's a pile of cases waiting for us though."

"Can you do something for me before you leave?"

"Anything. Anything at all."

"Come take a bath with me?"

"I actually got you some oils that are supposed to help relax you and reduce stress. I'll go run you a bath but it can't be too hot-" I put my finger to his lips and smile at him deviantly.

"You run the bath, I'll get some candles."

"Sounds good."

I relax back against him and he runs his hands along my stomach.

"Hey baby girl, dad's has to go to work tomorrow but I promise promise promise that I will be back as soon as I can. Daddy needs you to be a good girl and not give mommy any trouble. Let mommy rest and don't kick at her ribs too much." I giggle and he kisses my neck before moving his hands up from my stomach.

"Bedtime, little one. Sleep tight." he murmurs before claiming my lips.

...

I wake up to Spencer wrapped and tangled around me like a vice. His head is on my chest and he's nuzzling his face in my neck.

"Do you have to go?"

"I have to. But I love you so much and I'll miss you so much."

"I love you too. And I'll miss you too."

"Call me?"

"Of course."


	39. Chapter 39

**Thank you to ahowell1993 and lolyncut for reviewing! The bouquet in this chapter is inspired by teleflora eternal love **

** bouquet/eternal-love-bouquet?prodID=P_TRS09-1A&skuId=TRS09-1A&zipMin=**

**Chapter Thirty Nine**

They're in Oklahoma now and Spencer's anger toward JJ and Emily seems to be coming to a head. Morgan called me and told me to talk to Spencer and calm him down. But that's the thing, with me he is calm until he has to look at them. He literally can't stand to look at them because he's so riddled with betrayal. I do get a call from him later in the day though. He seems to have gotten some of it off of his chest. And I haven't gotten any concerned calls so maybe it wasn't that bad.

"Hey babe, before we hang up, check outside the door."

I open the door to find a huge bouquet of red roses.

"Oh Spencer."

"I'll call you later. I love you."

"I love you too." I pick up the flowers and carry them to the coffee table. That's when I notice the envelope that's placed carefully in between two roses. On the front it has my name in Spencer's handwriting. I open it carefully and unfold the letter inside.

"Ashleigh,

It was in this moment two years ago that I laid eyes on you for the first time. I know I've been hard to handle recently and for that I'm sorry. I just want you to know how much I love you and how much I appreciate everything you do for me.

Forever Yours,

Spencer"

I hold the note against my chest and smile. My Spencer.

...

I reluctantly get dressed. Spencer has insisted that we go to Rossi's. Not because he even wants to. But because he knows he needs to try and start repairing the trust. I understand that. They're his team. He has to trust them. I don't. I've been assured that they won't be there until after dinner. So at least I will only have to tolerate their presence for an hour or so before I can use being tired as an excuse to leave. Hotch is coming too but at least I've been able to forgive him. Everyone gets along pretty well until the door bell rings. They are all still talking but I can tell everyone is watching my micro expressions. A half hour passes without incident and Spencer keeps hold of my hand the whole time. I step out back for some air with Garcia and JJ follows us.

"Hey Ashleigh, I've been meaning to catch up with you. Oh you look so good!" She's trying to be nice but I don't care. When she reaches for my belly I swat her hand away.

"Don't touch me." I turn and go back into the house. I grab Spencer by the hand and lean into him while he's talking to Morgan and Hotch. When there's a break in the conversation he looks down at me.

"Everything okay?"

"No. I want to leave. Now."

"Uhh. Okay." He says goodbye to everyone and pulls me toward the door. JJ chases us down at the car and I roll my eyes.

"Hey! I'm sorry if I upset you."

"Are you?" She ignores my comment and turns to Spencer.

"See you tomorrow?" She reaches out to hug him but I put myself between then.

"Don't touch my husband. I don't care how much you've hugged him. From now on, don't lay a finger on him."

"Ashleigh all I was-"

"This conversation is over." I turn on my heel and open my door to get in. "Spencer. Let's go." He walks around the front of the car and we pull off, leaving JJ dumbstruck.

"You know Ashleigh, I can fight my own battles. But at the same time, I know that you want to defend me."

"I just love you so much..." tears spring to my eyes.

"And I love you too."

"Spencer...turn the car around."

"Why?"

"My water just broke."


	40. Chapter 40

**Thank you to ahowell1993 for reviewing! It's baby time! **

**Chapter Forty**

I grit my teeth and ten my face into Spencer's neck as another contraction rips through me. He's pulled up a chair and he's leaning over me in the bed.

"Shhh. Do you want ice chips?"

"Yes," I whimper and he feeds me a couple of them before setting the cup back on the table.

"Please get the epidural. You know you're at 6 and 7 is the cutoff."

"I am starting to agree with you. Okay. Get the nurse."

...

We are sitting side by side in bed, gazing down at our baby girl when Morgan and Garcia come into our room, the latter carrying a vase of flowers.

"We're glad that the two of you came. Meet your Goddaughter. Amelia Violet Reid."

"Aww yeah, come to uncle Derek." He reaches down and takes Amelia from my arms, cooing down at her. The next day we are on our way home after being discharged and Spencer's phone rings but he quickly ignores it.

"It's JJ isn't it?"

"Yeah. I've been ignoring her though."

"Call her when we get home just so see what she wants. You can't ignore her forever." I just want to keep the peace between him and his team. I don't want him getting shot because they aren't working as a unit. When we get home, I sit on the couch with Amelia he comes out a few minutes later and sits next to me.

"What did she want?"

"Let's talk about it later. I need to cook dinner."

"You're going to cook?"

"I cook all the time?"

"Breakfast. You cook breakfast."

"Point well taken. Pancakes?"

"I think there's a lasagna in the freezer."

"Good call."

...

After we have dinner, I sink back into the couch and feed Amelia while Spencer cleans up. When he's done, he comes to sit beside me and he drapes an arm over my shoulder, looking down at our sweet girl.

"We need to find a pump for you."

"Whys that?"

"If you want to breast feed ad work and go to school you need one. I know you do most of it online but there are occasions where you will have to go in..."

"I think I've decided that I don't want that anymore."

"Are you making this decision because of me?"

"Absolutely not. I just want to be here for her. And I want to spend every single moment that you're home as a family. Like you said, all in, remember?"

"Let me put her down for you so you can change."

"Sounds great."

Spencer changes her and puts her down in her crib after swaddling her. We slide into bed together and I lay over onto his chest.

"So, what was the phone call about?"

"JJ wants to see the baby. But I told her absolutely not. I told her that she needs to back off and give us some space to settle in before we can even consider forgiving her."

"You haven't?"

"No. But I have to play nice."

"What else did she say?"

"Nothing much. Pretty much told me to get a handle on you. To which I responded that you are perfectly justified and I won't tolerate her, or anybody else, talking about you. So when she gets over her hissy fit she can call me. Until then, I don't want to hear a peep from her."


	41. Chapter 41

**Thank you to ahowell1993 for reviewing! **

**Chapter Forty One**

It's been six weeks and we're finally getting into a groove. Spencer has to go back in just two more weeks. Right now we're sitting across from eachother drinking coffee while Amelia sleeps. I've agreed to talk to JJ so we're going out to lunch. Which I really don't want to do but I know I'll have to eventually so I might as well get it over with. Amelia is staying home with Spencer though. And that wasn't my idea either. He doesn't want JJ to see her until I've forgiven JJ. Which to be honest is going to take some time. I groan as I push myself up off of the chair and go into the bedroom with Spencer on my heels.

"You know, you really don't have to do this."

"Yes I do," I sigh. "You and I both know that I need to make amends with both of them."

"You're seeing Emily too?"

"No. But I will before you go back to work. One at a time."

"I haven't spoken to JJ."

"I know. You can. It's not like I'll go postal on you for talking to her or anything."

"I just don't feel comfortable talking to her when you aren't on speaking terms with her."

"But you feel comfortable talking to Emily? Whys that?"

"Oh come on, you know that I had a crush on her years ago."

"And now the tables have turned and she's got a crush on you."

"I think so."

"I'll take care of it."

"What does that mean?"

"It means I'll take care of her little crush. Trust me. I swear i won't do anything bad."

"Okay. But Ashleigh, you need to know that I will never leave you for her. She means absolutely nothing to me beyond a friend and team member."

"I know that. It's just unsettling."

"Do you wanna talk about it?"

"No. I just want to get this lunch over with."

"Don't shut me out."

"I'm not," I sigh. "Okay. Maybe I am a little bit. But we can talk about this when I get home okay?"

"Deal." He cranes his neck and kisses me softly.

"Go get em, tiger."

...

I sit and listen to JJ go on and on trying to smooth things over until finally I get fed up and cut her off.

"Okay. Tell me the real reason you're here?"

"How is Spence doing?"

"Is that really your business?"

"I consider it my business. See, there are certain things that he doesn't tell you. To protect you. He knows you can't handle the worst. You've been mentally fractured since we pulled you out of that warehouse." Her voice is sweet but laced with venom and she tilts her head to the side, challenging me with a 'sympathetic' smile.

"He's told me everything. About how his mother is a paranoid schizophrenic, his father walked out on them. But not before he subjected him to a lifetime worth of abuse."

"He told you about his father?"

"And here's the kicker. He also told me four months ago about how YOU were the reason he was kidnapped by Tobias Henkel. YOU went in the barn. YOU agreed to split up knowing there was a killer in the area. And instead of looking for him, YOU sat and cried after putting down a few dogs until the rest of the team came."

"That's not fair I-"

"Wasn't a profiler at the time? Yeah. I know. But you were still a federal agent with a gun. You had the training to go on raids and take downs. Nobody made you use it though."

"What does any of this have to do with that? It was over five years ago!"

"It has to do with the fact that after Emily died, I had to wrestle a bottle of dilaudid out of his hands. I literally had to pry it from his fingers as he laid on the floor and cried. YOU weren't there to help him then, so why are you so concerned about helping him now?"

"If he's using again then he needs help."

"He's not using. But he wanted to. Did you know that this is a terrifying age for him? This is when schizophrenic breaks happen. And you're little stunt very well could have pushed him over that edge."

"I really didn't mean for it to happen like this."

"But it did."

"Well, as long as I've known him Spencer is a big boy. He can tell me himself if he has a problem."

"Except you know that he hates confrontation. You know he would never tell you these things or blame you for what happened to him. You also know that if you made an advance toward him, he wouldn't want to hurt your feelings."

"Okay woah. I've got Will."

"Yeah. But you want Spencer. And I'll tell you this, if you so much as lay another finger on my husband, I will make sure Will knows about it."

"You wouldn't."

"Try me. I'll see you around." I start to get my purse and she puts a hand on my arm, stopping me.

"Wait. I'm offering you an olive branch."

"And what's that?"

"The real reason I wanted to meet with you is to plan a surprise for Spence."

"What would that be?"

"Gideon. I know where to find him. I got the thought when you announced that you were pregnant. But then I got called away and- well that's not important. When I came back everything was too crazy and everyone was too hurt for me to even think of it."

"Can I test the waters and see how he feels? I won't mention the surprise I'll just bring Gideon up and see what he says."

"Why would you need to test the waters?"

"Wow," I laugh, "there is ALOT that you don't know about my husband. I've got to go. I'll be in touch."

...

When I get home Spencer is sprawled out on the couch with Amelia sleeping on his chest. I take a quick picture and send it to Garcia with the caption 'Reid effect' and curl up beside him with my head in his lap.


	42. Chapter 42

**Thank you to ahowell1993 for reviewing! Fair warning, this chapter is basically one big lemon. So be prepared. I will, however put a lemon warning right before the action starts because there is some very relevant and important content that you will need to know later on. **

**Chapter Forty Two**

I wake to Spencer running his hands through my hair. We're still on the couch but Amelia is now in my arms eating. The sun is down so we've been here for a while.

"Spencer? How long were we asleep?"

"It's midnight now."

"I was asleep for ten hours?"

"I didn't want to wake you. You were sleeping so peacefully."

"Oh. Okay. What do you say I put her to bed and we have some fun?"

"I...I don't know. I mean, you're only six weeks PP and I don't want to risk hurting you."

"Oh...okay."

...

It's a week later and Spencer still hasn't hardly touched me. I get being cautious but at this point I'm afraid he just flat out doesn't want to touch me.

...

LEMONS

...

Spencer and I are walking down the street towards the movie theatre. Penelope and Derek offered to watch Amelia so we could have some time alone before Spencer goes back to work tomorrow. He's kept me pressed up against him almost the entire time we've been gone. Even asking for a booth at the restaurant just to slide in beside me. We go into the theatre and Spencer leads me to the very back row, all the way over to the corner.

"The exact spot we kissed for the first time."

"I remember." I put my hand on the back of his head and kiss him deeply. He wraps an arm around me and his tongue traces my bottom lip, asking for entrance which I grant. He pulls away and I playfully bite his lip.

"What is it? Is something wrong?"

"No not at all. I just don't want to get arrested for dicking you down in public."

"Dicking me down?" I can't control myself and I melt into a fit of laughter literally gasping.

"Yes that's exactly what I said. If I keep kissing you I'm gonna dick you down and that's frowned upon."

"What does that even mean?! Who told you that? I know you didn't come up with that phrase on your own!"

"Morgan."

"That explains it. Okay. I'm okay. Phew. That was good. You really know how to make me smile."

"Well I'm glad I amuse you. But when we get home, you won't be laughing." He nips my ear playfully and runs a hand up under my skirt as the lights dim. His thumb skirts over my panties before he lightly scratches down my leg as his hand is retreats.

"I'm going to make you squirm when we get home if you keep teasing me." I gently squeeze his erection through his pants and smile at him. He raises his eyebrows at me challengingly. This makes me squeeze just a tad bit harder and kiss his neck. To anyone looking at us it looks like I smell him afterward. But I'm reality, I run my teeth lightly along his Adam's apple before I settle my head on his shoulder and release him. He takes my hand and kisses my knuckles.

"Point well made. Behave." He kisses the top of my head and wraps an arm around me as the movie begins.

The entire movie, he teased me. He was smart enough to cuddle up close with one arm behind him and holding my other hand. This effectively locked my in place. If I tried to move one arm to get to him, he would press harder into the back of his seat so it would be stuck. If I tried to get to him with the other hand, he would just grip mine tighter when I tried to let go. He used his free hand to draw invisible pictures on the inside of my thigh, brush up against my mound ever so slightly, hold my face and kiss my while brushing my breast with his elbow, anything to get a reaction. But that's okay. Because payback is a bitch. When the end credits are playing he nibbles on my ear and whispers to me.

"Take your panties off."

"What? Now?"

"Do it." He grins at me maliciously and holds out his hand. I inconspicuously shimmy them off and was them up, placing them in his palm. He holds his hand to his nose for a split second, as if he were scratching his nose. But I know better. He puts them in his pocket and rises, extending his hand to help me up.

...

After Derek and Penelope are gone I go into the bedroom to put Amelia to bed while Spencer gets his things together for tomorrow. When he comes into the bedroom, he has a confused look on his face but doesn't say anything. He changes clothes and goes back to the living room. I hear the tv turn on. I come out to find him sprawled out on the couch watching the news.

"Why did you put her in the bedroom?"

"Because. I want to play a game." I tug on his hand and he sits up. He tries to stand but I gently push him back down and straddle him. I kiss him and run my nose along his jaw, with my teeth running along his neck making him shiver and dig his fingertips into my hips.

"You want to tease me?" I buck my hips and rub against him gently.

"You think I can't retaliate?"

"I know you can't last as long."

"We will see about that. Let's see. I went thirty minutes last time before I was begging helplessly?"

"Thirty two minutes and seventeen seconds, as I recall."

"You can't come, and you can't just pull me onto my lap. I am going to fuck you. Not the other way around. And you're going to beg me for it."

"Yes ma'am."

"Hush now, you always tell me to speak when I'm spoken to when we're playing our games." He nods in understanding and I miss my way down his body. I run him through his pajama pants before unbuttoning them and pulling just his head through. I flick my tongue and he bucks his hips but I jerk my face back.

"No no no. Behave." I give it a gentle nibble before working my way back up to kiss his mouth. I run my hands through his hair and brush against his partially exposed length.

"Remember when you took my panties? Well I'm soaked. And dripping and, oops. I got some on you." I lower myself farther and slide along him. His eyes bore into mine.

"What is it, Spencer?"

"Can I touch you?"

"Yes. Above the belt." He gently massages my chest and I arch my back when he softly twists, I grab his hands and pin them back against my hips.

"My game."

"Can't blame a guy for trying."

I sink down to my knees in front of him and instruct him to sit up and keep his eyes on me before taking his pants off and taking him into my mouth. It isn't long before he can't help it and his hand is in my hair, head tilted back and he's whispering incoherently.

"Oh fuck...Ashleigh...I'm sorry...oh...I won't do it again..." I release him with a pop and gaze at him innocently while still stroking him slowly.

"You know...I wont...deny you. I'm sorry..."

"What else?"

"Please..."

"Please what?"

"Please just fuck me. Please!"

"As you wish." I rise and straddle him again, riding him hard but his release comes to fast and I am left at the edge. He's pulsating inside of me but it's not enough. He can tell I'm uncomfortable, so he grabs my hips and flips us, now he is on top of me but he lays me down and kisses his way down before finding his destination. It's only minutes later that I am toppling over the edge. When I come back to myself, Spencer is on top of me whispering in my ear.

"Feel okay?"

"Better than ever."

"What brought this little sex game on?"

"I don't ever want you to feel like I'm losing interest. And I know you've been feeling like that for a couple of weeks now. I needed to prove to you that that was not the case. I was genuinely afraid I would hurt you."

"Now that we've proven you won't, I say we take this party to the shower."

"I second that."


	43. Chapter 43

**Thank you to ahowell1993 for reviewing! **

**Chapter Forty Two**

I am feeding Amelia when Spencer calls and it's amusing. I guess Morgan gave his number to the press and they're blowing his phone up. We've been invited to get another dinner party. I guess Rossi caught wind that I was on good terms with Emily and JJ he thought we needed to celebrate. We're supposed to go tomorrow if they're back.

...

I'm having fun at Rossi's. I didn't think I would, but watching JJ squirm and play nice has been fun.

"You're so lucky, I wish I had been able to breastfeed Henry. But I just couldn't with the job."

"Yeah. I'm just thankful that Spencer made it possible for me to stay home. Don't know what I'd do without him." I gaze up at him and he wraps an arm around me. He knows damn well what I'm doing but he's presenting a united front. I step outside for a few minutes and I'm followed by Hotch.

"Hey, what are you doing out here?"

"Pretending to get some air."

"Pretending."

"Yep."

"But in reality you're waiting for JJ to slip up and think you're gone."

"Yep."

"And this is worth fighting with Reid over that cigarette in your hand?"

"It's not lit," I hold it up to him. "Besides, Spencer has a nose like a blood hound. He would have been out here the second you opened the door."

"You aren't wrong."

"I've been meaning to sit down and talk with you for a while."

"Well, were sitting now. Let's talk." I stare ahead into the darkness.

"I know we've made amends. But I want to know, why did you not get nearly as angry at me? You shunned JJ and Emily for three months. But you talked to me a week later."

"I guess I wasn't angry with you. I was more disappointed than anything."

"Oh yeah, whys that?"

"Because I guess I've seen you as kind of a father figure to Spencer. Someone who he can count on. I guess watching him get hurt for the third time by the same man, in a sense at least,"

"Three times by a father figure?"

"Yeah. First his real dad. Then Gideon abandoned him. And then you betrayed him. Yeah, I was pissed. But moreso I was disappointed in you because you knew, you knew Spencer's worst fears, you knew that you were a very important person in his eyes. You knew that he looked up to you. But you did it anyways."

"I am so sorry Ashleigh. I can see now. I do hope we can all move on."

"Well, it's hard not to be resentful towards those that caused his pain. Hotch, I can't tell you everything out of respect for my husband. What I can tell you is that for a while there, I was afraid for his life."

"I know about the dilaudid. I know what he tried."

"How could you possibly know?"

"Spencer told me. During his mandatory psychological evaluation a month after she came back. He was so angry that he let it slip."

"Did you report it?"

"Absolutely not. After I calmed him down we talked it out. And he told me that you took it from him. That's when I realized that as long as he's with you, he won't slip."

"Thank you."

"No. Thank you. You saved his life."

...


	44. Chapter 44

**Thank you to ahowell1993 and lolyncut for reviewing! **

**Chapter Forty Four**

I am figuring out how to cope with Spencer being gone. It's been all I can do not to put Amelia in bed with me, but I've been managing. She's sleeping through the night. Not that it helps my case because I've barely been sleeping at all. I just curl up in Spencer's robe and pray for him to come back every second that he's gone. I've started smoking again, pot and cigarettes. And I've been eyeing the dilaudid bottle that's still hidden in the bottom of my purse. Whenever I get the urge, I try to just sit beside the crib and look at Amelia's face to keep myself grounded. I don't know what's wrong with me but I'm terrified to tell Spencer. I know that he has been trying desperately to convince me that he's not going to leave. It's not been working. The harder he tries, the more frustrated I feel like he becomes with me. And I know that he just wants me to chill out but I can't. I don't want this to be our breaking point. What's worse is I don't want him to think I'm mentally unstable- like his mother. I jump when I hear my phone ring. It's Spencer.

"Hey," I whisper.

"Hey baby, is Amelia down for the night?"

"Yeah. Yeah she went to sleep about an hour ago."

"Then what are you even still doing up?"

"I just can't sleep. I miss you." My voice cracks and I have to cover my mouth. I can't tell him that every moment he's away with her I imagine her making advances. The thought makes my stomach turn and I try to take subtle deep breaths.

"Ashleigh. Get to the computer and video conference me."

"Why," I choke out.

"Because I know you're having a panic attack."

"No. I don't want you to see my like this."

"Baby please-"

"I gotta go. Amelia is stirring." I hear him say 'I love you' as I'm hanging up the phone. The 'you' is thick with emotion and I know he's crying now, which makes me feel even worse. I get a text from JJ. They're coming home. I go out into the living room so I don't disturb Amelia and I wrap his afghan around myself. Why is she the first to tell me? I lay on the couch and stare at the wall for what feels like hours until there's a knock at the door.

"Ashleigh. Honey, it's Penelope. Open up."

"Go away!"

"I have a key."

"Well then I guess come in! You're going to anyways!" She enters the apartment and finds me curled in a ball on the couch. The sink is piled high with dishes and bottles. The pump was a good idea. I can't get Amelia to latch here lately. Just another fuck up.

"Ashleigh honey, when was the last time you ate?"

"I don't know."

"When was the last time you slept?"

"The night before they left."

"Honey they've been gone for three days."

"Sounds about right."

"You need to get some rest. I can stay and take care of Amelia."

"No! I can take care of my daughter."

"I wasn't insinuating that you can't. I was just suggesting that I help you. You look exhausted."

"I can't close my eyes."

"Why?"

"Because every time I close my eyes, I see Spencer in JJs arms."

"You know that would never happen."

"It could."

"No it couldn't. Have you talked to Spence about this?"

"No. I don't want him to think I'm not able to take care of myself."

"You really need to communicate with him."

"I can't. There are things that I can't tell even him."

"Then tell me."

"You have to swear to me that you won't tell him."

"Can I tell him that I'm worried depending on what you tell me?"

"Yes. But no details."

"I've been wanting to try dilaudid. I know that I can't. I know that I have to be strong. But the craving is there."

"I need to call Spencer."

"No! Don't do it. Please Penelope. Please don't. I'm begging you."

"He needs to know!"

"I'll tell him! When he comes home! I'll tell him."

"You are clinically depressed."

"I feel fine when Spencer is with me."

"Okay then you have separation anxiety. You two need to talk it out."

"We will." She pulls out her phone and calls Spencer.

"Hey Reid. Yeah, she's okay. I think she's having some PPD. Yeah I will. Umm. Maybe you should tell her. Okay. Bye."

"They're coming home. He said to have you call him asap."

"Okay," I pull out my phone and Spencer answers on the first ring.

"Hey sweetie. I'm coming home."

"I know."

"I want you to let Garcia stay with you until I get there."

"I know."

"Are you high right now?"

"A little." I swear I can hear steam coming out of his ears.

"I'll be home soon. Please wait up so we can talk."

"K."

"I love you."

"Love you more." We hang up and I curl up back on my end of the couch. Garcia just sits with me and rubs my hand reassuringly.

...


	45. Chapter 45

**Thank you to ahowell1993 and lolyncut for reviewing! I do as that more review! I am very open to constructive criticism and suggestions. So far, I've only two consistent reviewers. Let's raise that number**

**Chapter Forty Five**

*Reid*

I take the stairs three at a time. Garcia called right before we landed and said that she couldn't get Ashleigh to come out of the bathroom. She's locked herself in. I got Morgan to drive and we made it here pretty quick. I throw the door open and find Garcia on the couch with Amelia. I go straight to the bathroom door and start pounding on it.

"Ashleigh! Ashleigh! Open the door!" There's no response and my pleas become more desperate.

"Open the damn door! Now! Morgan get in here!"

"Back up, kid." He kicks the door in and I find Ashleigh sitting in the corner with her head resting on her knees. I rush to her side and pull her to me. Her pulse is there but it's weak.

"Morgan, get Amelia out of here."

"I'll tell Garcia to take her somewhere. You might need an extra set of hands."

"I can take care of my wife! I need you and Garcia to take Amelia somewhere safe. There's milk in the freezer."

"Okay. Call if you need me."

I look around the room and see a bottle on the counter. Fuck. That's the rest of the pills from when she was kidnapped. I dump them out and there's three missing.

"Ashleigh if you can hear me, I need you to squeeze my hand once for yes and twice for no. Can you do that?" She squeezes my hand indicating that she understands.

"Did you take three of these?"

Yes.

"I'm taking you to the hospital."

"No Spencer. Just leave me here."

"I'm not going to let you lay in the bathroom floor and overdose! We have to get you to the hospital!" I have to halfway drag her because she's fighting to get away from me. By the time I've wrestled her into the car, my shirt is halfway untucked and my hair is all over the place. She managed to scratch me a few times but I'm not even mad. I'm just afraid for her life. I know that she doesn't know what she's doing right now. Before I close the door, I flip the little switch on the side of the door that locks it from the outside. She lays across the back seat and pulls her knees to her chest, sobbing.

"Talk to me baby, please keep talking to me."

"I'm sorry Spencer."

"Don't apologize. You're not well."

...

I get her to the emergency room and carry her in. Once we're under the bright hospital lights, I see the tract mark on her arm.

"Did you?..." I look down at her face. Her eyes are filled with tears and her lip quivers when she nods.

"Damnit Ashleigh!"

"I'm sorry," her voice is a faint whisper as she drifts out of consciousness again.

"Sir? Sir. We need to help your wife. I'm sorry but I have to ask you to leave." I storm out of the room and down the hall to a waiting room. The first sight I see is JJ. The whole team is here. But the sight of JJ sends me flying off the handle.

"Seriously? What the fuck is wrong with you? Leave my wife ALONE! You should NEVER initiate contact with her. Especially not to tell her we're coming home!"

"Spencer I-"

"Shut the fuck up!" I restrain myself but punch a wall instead. I don't even feel it.

"Get her out of here. Far away from me." JJ leaves and after a few minutes I manage to stop pacing and sit down. Emily comes and puts a hand on my back.

"Hey Spence, we called Garcia to check on you. She said that Ashleigh was having an episode with ptsd? Is everything okay?" Oh good. They didn't tell anyone about the over dose.

"In my opinion she is suffering from some type of temporary psychosis. But we will have to wait for the doctor to find out."

"What happened?"

"She tried to commit suicide. She's convince that I've got one foot out the door and JJ is only making it worse."

...

I wake in a hospital room and I have no idea how I even got here. Spencer's sitting beside me in a chair and his face is in my stomach and his entire body is racked with sobs.

"Please don't take her from me. Please. I'll do anything. Take me but please don't take her. I'll die right now. But please bring her back to me." His tears are soaking through the hospital gown and silent tears run down my cheeks.

"I know that I'm supposed to be a man of science but science can't help me now. Now I need a miracle." Oh, Spencer.

I try to move my hand to touch his hair but I can't. I'm restrained.

"Spencer." I can barely even talk.

"Spencer. Can you hear me?"

"Ashleigh!" He jumps from his chair and rushes out to the hallway. "She's awake!"

He runs back to my side.

"You're awake."

"Will you take these restraints off?"

"Yes." He makes quick work of removing the restraints. He climbs into bed with me and crushes me against his chest.

"Spencer," I don't think he even realizes that he's hugging me so hard it hurts.

"Hmm."

"Nothing." I relax in his arms and snake my own around him.

"I was so afraid. I thought, I thought I lost you. Why? Ashleigh help my understand. Why did you do that?"

"I could take it anymore. The constant images and thoughts."

"Images of what?"

"Every time I close my eyes when you're not with me, I see you with JJ."

"What? How long has this been going on?"

"Since my lunch with JJ."

"A month."

I nod.

"I need to go talk to your doctor."

I just nod and he walks out into the hallway.

...

I go out and find JJ, pulling her into a room with me and Morgan.

"What the hell did you say to her?"

"I told you I just texted and let her know we were coming home."

"Not last night. A month ago. At lunch. What did you say to her?"

"Nothing."

"You're lying." I storm back into Ashleigh's room and go to sit beside her bed, taking her hand in both of mine.

"What did she say to you?"

"She told me about how you took her on a date once and you kissed her. And she told me about how all of you used to go out to bars together and she got messed up a lot and then she was like 'and we both know Spencer is too polite to ever say no to a lady.' And she showed me a picture of her kissing your cheek and told me about how you guys used to be so close and you were like a brother. Which I'm not stupid I know that means she wanted to have sex with you."

"I NEVER touched her. I swear."

"But you dated her."

"I took her out once. It wasn't even a real date. We went as friends to a redskins game."

"But you kissed her?"

"She was taking pictures and kissed me on the cheek. I kissed her on the cheek. That was IT."

"I see it every time I close my eyes! I see you kissing her! And I see you..."

"Ashleigh, stop..." I reach up and wipe a tear from her eye before smoothing her hair.

"Where is my daughter?"

"Garcia has her. Morgan is about to head back to help."

"Oh good." A doctor enters the room and insists that I leave so she can do an exam. I duck out into the hallway and find JJ alone in a conference room and decide it's time to finally confront her. At this point, I don't give a fuck about her feelings.


	46. Chapter 46

**Thank you to ahowell1993 and lolyncut for reviewing! **

**Chapter Forty Six**

"Hey Spence, how's she feeling?"

"Cut the bullshit, Bitch. Sit down and listen. I don't know what compelled you to tell her those things. But that was the stressed for her. She's been off for over a month now. You texting her was the trigger."

"Spencer I don't think talking to someone could-"

"I said shut up!" I yell and slam my fists down on the table.

"You are singlehandedly responsible for this! I'm seriously considering telling will about this!"

"He's home with Henry. Since it's impossible to find reliable babysitters nowadays."

"Ashleigh kept Henry for MONTHS and you know it. So what? She won't watch him unless will drops him off because she still doesn't want to be near you? Who cares? And yeah, we haven't kept him for a while because one, we just had our OWN baby and we're trying to adjust. Ashleigh is exhausted and I finally know why. She can't sleep without me because she sees the images that YOU put in her head! And for two, you haven't asked. No, I'm not going to go out of my way to beg you to leave Henry with us OVER FUCKING NIGHT just so you and will can go out and get drunk because that seems to be the only time you can get along!"

"You are way out of line!"

"No the fuck I'm not, sit your ass back down." I shove her shoulders and she drops back down into her chair.

"I'm not done. It's not my or Ashleigh's fault that you and Will have an unhappy marriage. That's what happens when you're relationship is based on nothing besides being drunk which you two tend to do a lot of. And don't say another word to my wife. Ever. All contact goes through me. I'm done playing this petty little games."

"What games?" Hotch comes in the door behind me. Shit.

"Reid, what's going on?"

"Basically, JJ told Ashleigh that we used to hang out a lot and that we went to a redskins game together. She flat out lied and told her we were intimate. That was the stressor for all of this mess. Then when Ashleigh was already having a panic attack, which she's had ever since her abduction," Hotch chimes in with a 'perfectly normal' before I continue. "Anyways, she was having one of those when JJ texted her before I had the chance to. This sent her into a full blown psychotic episode."

"Prompting her to attempt suicide?"

"Yes."

"JJ, can I have a word?" He nods to me and I leave the room, going back to Ashleigh.

"Spencer, how long was I asleep?"

"A day and a half."

"Did I put those bruises on your face?"

"Yeah. Don't worry about it. You weren't yourself."

"I'm still not."

"I know. You have a psychological evaluation in an hour. They say if you pass I can take you home tomorrow."

"I just want to see my baby girl."

"I have other plans. Your birthday is Sunday."

"Oh yeah...it is. Can I see Amelia tomorrow?"

"Yes and no. We're going to see her for a couple of hours and then I'm taking you away for the weekend."

"Where?"

"It's a surprise. I just think that the two of us need some time to reconnect. The day that you start thinking I don't love you is the day I need to stop everything and prove to you that I do."

"Spencer I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Please don't let this be it."

"It won't be. I swear to god that I'm never going to abandon you and Amelia. I will love you down to my last breath. Forget about her. Just think about me."

"Your whole face is still puffy."

"Don't remind me."

...

Spencer has gone to pick up some things for me at home and I'm alone when Hotch enters the room.

"How are you feeling?"

"Better. The meds are helping."

"Good. I just wanted to come by and see how you were doing. Also, I wanted to give you this."

"It's JJs suspension letter?"

"Yes. I wanted you to be the first to know. She's being suspended for two weeks."

"But how can you-"

"Insubordination, causing conflict within the team."

"Thanks. You didn't have to."

"I wanted to. I heard Reid screaming at her and punching the walls and the vending machines so I went to check it out. He told me everything. Honestly, if I could legally fire her for this I would."

"He was that angry with her?"

"Ashleigh, if I may speak freely? I know we haven't been close and I don't want to offend you."

"Sure."

"I watched him for the past two and a half days. He paced the hallways, barked at your doctors, and checked on Amelia every hour on the hour. That's about 10 minutes each hour. The other 50 minutes per hour?"

"Yeah?"

"He was sitting right there," he points to Spencer's chair.

"He was sitting right there and he laid his head on you and sobbed. I watched him sit beside your bed for two days and sob inconsolably. He cried so hard a couple of times he vomited. Blood once. He is angry. He is more furious than I've ever seen him. It's all he can do not to attack JJ physically. If she were a man, then JJ would already be on the head trauma floor."

"I didn't even realize..."

"You two need to take some time and talk."

"I know." I drop my face in my hands, exasperated."


	47. Chapter 47

**Thank you to ahowell1993 for reviewing! **

**Chapter Forty Seven **

I am being discharged and Spencer is fussing all over me.

"Now remember, the only ones who know the truth are Morgan, Garcia, and Hotch. This is a team of profilers. They know how to read you. Do. Not. Let JJ know. Under any circumstances. I'm going to get you in the car as fast as I can. But you will have to walk past them and everyone is going to ask about you. I think JJ is gone. But just in case."

"Okay."

He leads me out and down to the front entrance where the car is waiting with morgan in the driver's seat. We get in without incident and it only takes about ten minutes for us to get to Garcia's apartment. We spend some time with Amelia and when it's time to go, I almost start to cry. Spencer takes her from me and kisses her forehead.

"Mommy and daddy are going to take a little trip. But don't you worry because we will be back in a couple days and then daddy won't have to work for two whole weeks won't that be fun? Mommy and daddy love you so much we just need to take care of mommy. Don't worry she will be okay. Be a good girl your your Uncle Derek and Auntie Penny." He gives her one more kiss before placing her back in the bassinet and taking my hand, leading me out the door.

...

We've been driving for about an hour when Spencer speaks.

"So do you want to talk about it?"

"You mean do I want to talk about her? No. I don't."

"I just want to show you that all I care about is you and Amelia."

"Spencer, Hotch told me."

"Told you what?"

"He told me how you cried over me and he told me about you praying. I heard you for myself but he told me you say like that for two days."

"I couldn't imagine ever losing you. And I thought I had. You were limp and weak and then when I picked you up, you started fighting me and screaming at me and I was terrified."

"I'm sorry that I put you through that."

"Don't apologize. You can't control how you feel. I just want you back."

"What do you mean?"

"I feel like you're slipping through my fingertips. I just want to protect you. Mentally and physically."

"Spencer I-"

"No. Let me finish. I want to have more kids with you and buy a house with you. And I want to spend every single day with you. I couldn't go on and I would never love anyone else again if you had died. You have to believe that."

"I'm starting to..."

...

Spencer gently shakes me. I fell asleep on his shoulder while he was driving.

"Baby, were here."

I look out and see the Saybrook Point Inn and Spa. Spencer gets out and goes around to the back to get our two bags. He opens my door and puts an arm around me as we're walking up to the entrance. We are led to a waterfront room with a balcony, seating area, oh and a fireplace! Spencer leads me over to the bed and stands in front of me as I sit on the edge.

"Spencer this is beautiful."

"Only the best. Ive got you a spa day for tomorrow."

"I've never been to a spa..."

"Well you will tomorrow."

"Why are you doing all of this? It has to be getting expensive."

"Ashleigh, I've lived alone in that cheap apartment for six years before I met you. I had no social life. And I was home so little that my utilities were a hundred bucks a month total. I have enough in savings to buy a house. And I still haven't had to tap into it once even since meeting you. Just let me spoil you? You deserve it."

"I don't deserve you..."

"Stop that. This weekend is about getting you on the road to recovery. We should get to bed though. It's late and you need your rest."

...

I wake up in a cold sweat with Spencer looming over me.

"It was just a dream..."

"I saw you with her..."

"I'm here. I'm here with you." Relief washes over me and I pull him down, crushing my mouth to his. He pulls away after a few minutes.

"Are you sure about this?"

"Yes..."

"What do you want?"

"I want you to love me exactly like you did the first time."

"I have an eidetic memory."

"So I've heard."

...


	48. Chapter 48

**Thank you to ahowell1993 and lolyncut for reviewing!**

**Chapter Forty Eight**

I wake with a start and Spencer tightens his arms around me.

"Ashleigh!" He's groggy but I look at the clock and it's 8am. That doesn't make any sense. I raise up on my elbows and see that his eyes are swollen and dark.

"Spencer, have you been up all night?"

"I had to make sure you didn't have another nightmare."

"You didn't have to-"

"Yes I did."

"I should probably take a shower before this spa day. Am I allowed to wear clothes or? I've never been to a spa."

"I haven't either. But I've done a lot of reading about them."

"Of corse you have."

"Tell you what, you go do what you gotta do, and I'll order us some breakfast."

"Downstairs?"

"No no no. I'm not leaving you for a second. I'll be right here. Just going to call for room service."

"Okay..."

I am rinsing my hair when Spencer comes in the bathroom and sits on the counter.

"So what should I expect."

"Well you get a massage and a sauna. Which I was going to join you for. They have private ones for couples. You can pick anything else you want."

"Like what?"

"For massages I think the hot stone would be best. Oh I scheduled you a rose wrap too."

"What's a rose wrap?"

"I think it's like one of those clay masks that you use. Only for your whole body. I'm not entirely sure. But my source says you'll like it the best."

"Your source?" I am amused but almost immediately there is a gray cloud engulfing me.

"Not JJ! Penelope."

"Oh...okay. So what am I supposed to pick?"

"All that's left to decide is if you want to take advantage of the waxing that they have. I thought it would help to kind of build your self esteem back up."

"Do I have time to think about it?"

"Of course."

"Come here."

"In the shower?"

"Yes."

"Okay. Let me take my clothes off." He steps in front of me still wearing his boxers, which I'm grateful for.

"Oh honey, what's wrong?"

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't be crying. You planned this while romantic weekend for me and I'm a mess."

"Hey," he takes my face in his hands. "This weekend is about your healing. This is about helping you get better. We're far away from the drama. Our phones won't even ring unless it's Garcia, Morgan, or my mothers hospital. Amelia is in perfectly good hands. There's a freezer full of milk for her and she's got everything she needs. Right here, right now is just us. If we have some romance then okay. But, as long as we leave here with at least a little bit of hope, I'll be happy."

"I'm sorry for ruining what you planned."

"Ashleigh! You haven't ruined anything!"

"I've cried almost the entire time."

"That's normal. There are stages of brief psychosis. You were angry, and now you are sad. If you weren't emotional, I'd be worried. This is a normal part of the healing process."

"But how long?"

"Everyone is different. You will heal in your own time."

I lean against him and he wraps his arms tightly around me. I wish we could stay here just like this forever. Because, when I'm in his arms like this, nothing can get to me. Nothing.

"So the spa will take about four hours. Five with lunch. Then the rest of the day is up to you. But maybe we should wait and see how you feel afterward. I hear most people want to take a nap."

"Okay. We can wing it."

...

Spencer doesn't leave my side the entire time. I've had a rose wrap, we've been in the sauna together, and he stayed while they were putting the facial on. I did, however, make him leave the room when they were waxing me. I did the all over wax, which I plan to keep a secret until later on tonight. Now I am laying on a table watching him intently. They're doing a hot stone massage and he is sitting in a chair in the corner reading. Every few minutes, though, he looks up at me and smiles reassuringly. When we're leaving the spa, he bends down and sweeps me up into his arms.

"You're going to carry me back?"

"Absolutely." We get back up to our room and he deposits me on the bed.

"What would you like to do?"

"Actually, I am really tired..."

"Excellent." He peels my sun dress off and unbuttons his shirt.

"Woah there cowboy, I'm actually sleepy."

"I know. Cowgirl." He winks at me and holds his shirt out for me to slip on.

"As always, you look beautiful in my shirt. Actually. Let me take a picture of you."

"In just your shirt?"

"That's the idea."

"I have a very mean request."

"Anything you want is yours."

"Take all the pictures you want, and send them to JJ."

"That sounds glorious." I know that it's mean. I know that she will be upset, but with the pain she has cause the both of us. She deserves some payback.


	49. Chapter 49

**Thank you to ahowell1993 for reviewing! **

**Chapter Forty Nine**

We end up going out to dinner and when we get back an idea hits Spencer. We're walking past the heated outdoor pool and there's nobody in it. He takes my hand and leads me inside and over to where the hot tub is. He gets two towels and put them on the edge before stripping down to his boxers.

"What are you doing?"

"Being spontaneous. Come on." He gives me a grin and scramble to join him. I settle back against him and he absentmindedly traces circles on my knee.

"How are you feeling?"

"Better."

"Good. I knew that I just needed to get you away from D.C. We just needed to reconnect."

"So Hotch put you off?"

"In a round about way. I think it boils down to him not wanting to watch me make the same mistakes."

"That's what I think too."

...

We get back to the room and he slams me against the door as it closes, taking me off guard and grinding his hips against me.

"Spencer what are you doing?"

"Shh. You're mine." He picks me up and drops me unceremoniously on the bed. He is relentless in his teasing and all I want is him.

"Spencer baby I-"

"Hush. Eyes on me." His eyes burn into mine. I whimper when he slams into my but I keep my eyes trained on his.

"You. Are. Mine. I. Swear. I. Will. Never. Leave." He emphasizes each word thrust for thrust, hitting my core every time and I dig my nails into his shoulder.

"Spencer!" I close my eyes and he stops immediately, leaving me bucking up against him.

"Don't stop," I pant.

"Eyes open." I force my eyes to open and look at him again. He slams into me a few more times before speaking again.

"Come with me baby." His words are my undoing.

...

Spencer is sprawled across me and still inside of me. I can't move but I don't care. I just run my hands through his hair.

"Do you believe me a little more now?"

"Yes. Spencer, you know you don't have to keep doing special things for me. I will eventually come to terms."

"I know. I just want to."

"I love you."

"I love you too." His eyes well up with tears and a stray one streaks down his face. I wipe it away and take his face in my hands.

"What is it, Spence?"

"That's the first time you've told me you love me since you...you have no idea how relieved I am to hear you say that."

"It's the truth."


	50. Chapter 50

**Thank you to ahowell1993 for reviewing! **

**Chapter Fifty**

I wake up and I'm in the car. I have no clue how I got here either. Other than I am resting my head on Spencer's shoulder and he's driving. It's dark out too.

"Spencer, what's going on? What time is it?"

"About eleven thirty."

"Pm?"

"Yes."

"Where are you taking me at eleven thirty pm?"

"Were thirty minutes out now. It's a surprise. Now shush." After a while, he pulls over and reaches in the glove compartment. He pulls out his purple scarf and motions for me to turn my head. He ties it around and I can't even see out the top or bottom. Damn he's good at this. I feel the car move again and stop five minutes later. This time he shuts the engine off. He gets out and opens me door, taking my arm and helping me out. He has one arm around my waist and he's holding my hand leading me. He opens a door and leads me into what I assume is Rossi's house for a birthday party. But all I can smell of flowers and candles. Finally, he takes the blindfold off. I look around and there's drywall and hardwood floor. We're in a house that's obviously being renovated. I can see beneath the surface though. He leads me through the front hallway and shows me the living room, kitchen, den, and dining room.

"Spencer who's house is this?"

"Ours. Well, it won't be ready until around Christmas. But it's ours. And we can arrange the rooms however you want. Morgan is renovating it and he said he can make it however you want."

"Slow down. You bought a house?"

"Yeah I just figured we can't stay in the apartment forever with Amelia. Especially if we want more kids. And I was going to surprise you when it was finished but then everything happened and I-" he runs a hand through his hair at a loss for words. For once.

"Do you like it?"

"I love it. Show me the upstairs?"

"Okay. Let's go." He leads me up the stairs and shows me four bedrooms and two bathrooms before back tracking and opening the door that was right at the top of the stairs. There's a bed up against the far wall with flowers all over it. Candles are everywhere. There's a little table in the corner with ice and a wine bottle on it. And now I hear music.

"Spencer this is so pretty."

"Like you. Dance with me."

"You know I can't dance."

"Neither can I." He holds me against him and we just away together.

...

I am sprawled across Spencer's chest and he's smoothing my hair down from where we got a little rough.

"So, honestly, do you like it? Or are you upset that I didn't run it by you first?"

"I love it, baby. It's perfect. I am sorry that I ruined the surprise though."

"It's even better though. Because, now you can decide exactly how you want things."

"But it's your house. And it's your money..."

"Ours. Everything is ours. And besides, you know what I like. If it makes you feel any better then you can tell me when you have a new idea."

"You'll just agree." I roll my eyes at him and he feigns shock.

"Did you just roll your eyes at me?"

"Maybe. Do something about it."

"Oh I intend to."

...

I take the stairs two at a time when we get home. I just want to get to my girl. Garcia and Morgan decided to meet us here for some reason. When I open the door, I am absolutely floored. The entire apartment is spotless from top to bottom. Garcia and Morgan are sitting on the couch watching tv with Amelia propped up in between them.

"Hey Millie. Mommy and daddy are home!" Derek picks her up and comes to meet me at the door. I take her immediately.

"Hey baby! Have you been a good girl? Mommy missed you so so so so much."

"Oh she's been a perfect little angel. You're looking better."

"Thanks Derek." I look over his shoulder and realize that Penelope is asleep.

"I like what you've done with the house by the way."

"Good. I might steal pretty boy away so he can help me hang some drywall tomorrow if that's okay."

"Sounds like a real party." I laugh and imagine Spencer trying to hang drywall. It's a funny sight that's for sure. We say our goodbyes and once they are gone I lounge back on the couch and Amelia is curled up to my chest eating. They said I had to pump normally for 48 hours and discard it instead of giving it to her which I did. Spencer is leaning against my other side with an arm around me. He's flipping through binders of paint swatches, baseboards, molding, flooring, etc. I didn't realize that there would be this MANY decisions to make. He says he's taking me day after tomorrow to pick out some stuff that has to be done at the actual hardware store. After Amelia falls asleep, I lay all the way over on Spencer and he puts his nose in my hair.

"Is it bad that I'm still sleepy even though I've only been awake for 12 hours over the past 48?"

"Not at all. You need your rest. Every time you take a nap and wake up you feel a little better. Besides, I'm under you now. So you know I'm not going anywhere."


	51. Chapter 51

**Thank you to ahowell1993 for reviewing!**

**Chapter Fifty One**

I'm straightening Spencer's tie. I absolutely dread him going back to work. I'm feeling a lot better but I'm just terrified I'm going to break down when he's gone. He picks up on this. I hate profilers.

"Hey, why don't you drive me to work?"

"Uh yeah. Sure. Just let me get Amelia." We get loaded up and he lets me drive.

"So, JJ won't be there will she?"

"Not until later. You'll be on your way home."

"Oh okay good." I pull up to the front and Spencer gives me a confused look.

"Come in with me."

"Why?"

"Just come with me." He rolls his eyes and I oblige, pulling into the visitor lot right in front. When we get upstairs I follow Spencer to his desk and sit on the edge while everyone passes Amelia around. I'm getting more comfortable with Emily again. She's given me space to get over it. Next thing I know, I am almost knocked off of Spencer's desk by jack.

"Ashleigh!"

"Hey buddy!" I squeeze him before picking him up and sitting him down beside me. Hotch descends the stairs with Rossi.

"Sorry about that. I brought him in with me because Beth has an appointment today. She's picking him up after lunch."

"Can I take him?"

"You sure about that?"

"Absolutely."

"I'll let Beth know to pick him up at your place."

"Don't bother. I'll just bring him back when I come back for Spence."

"You want him all day?"

"Yeah. It'll be fun."

"Yeah Dad! It'll be fun! Please can I go?"

"Alright but if you give her an ounce of trouble she is bringing you straight back here."

"Thanks Dad!" He jumps up and runs to Hotchs office to get his back pack."

"I hope you didn't have plans today..."

"I hope you don't mind him getting dirty. I'm going to the house today."

"Not at all. Call me if he misbehaves."

"He's an angel."

"Come on, I'll walk you out." Spencer holds his hand out to me and I see a flash of blonde hair out of the corner of my eye. Before I even realize what I'm doing, I grab his tie and pull him down to kiss me. He picks up on what I'm doing and snakes his arm around me. JJs desk is across from his so I know she has to take notice when she puts her bag down. He leads me down to the car and buckles jack into the back seat as I strap Amelia in before coming to stand beside my open door.

"You good?"

"Yeah. I know that was inappropriate but-"

"Nobody blames you. I think you put her in her place right off the bat."

"Good."

"So what are you going to do at the house?"

"I think I'm going to paint some of the down stairs. I know I know, you and Morgan have it under control. But I like doing things like that."

"Sounds good to me."

"Have a good day. Be back at five. Love you."

"Love you too."


	52. Chapter 52

**Thank you to ahowell1993 and torikat123 for reviewing! **

**Chapter Fifty Two**

I get a text from each member of the team (minus JJ) basically saying "nice one". Apparently JJ threw a little hissy fit saying that Spencer and I kissing was "misconduct". Hotch of course told her to give it a rest. I take the kids to lowes and let jack pick out colors and floor samples. By the time we leave we have like 30 samples total (flooring and paint). I decided instead of having a separate den and living room that I want to have a play room downstairs so that's what we're getting samples for today. When we get to the house, I let jack go into the playroom after I've put swatches on the wall. I give him what's left and a few small paint brushes. Telling him to keep it to one wall and have at it. I get Amelia to sleep in the dining room in her pack and play. Now time to paint the living room and kitchen. Yesterday, morgan, Spencer, garcia, and I managed to get everything but the playroom primed. We even got the hallways and entryways. Finished. At least for the downstairs. Morgan says it goes a lot faster if you focus everyone on one floor at a time so that's what we're doing. After I've got everything but the playroom done, it's almost one. I clean Jack up and take the kids out for lunch. Afterwards, I decide to stop at Patawomack park to let jack play on the playground and push Amelia in the swings. When 4:45 rolls around I get them loaded up and drive back to the BAU. When he elevator doors open, jack takes off running to his fathers office. I take my time walking over to Spencer's desk. I perch on the edge of his desk when Morgan steals Amelia away from me.

"Hey baby, I'm almost ready. Give me five."

"Okay. I'm just gonna run up and talk to Hotch real quick."

"Okay." He gives me a questioning look but doesn't say anything else so I ascend the stairs to Hotch's office.

"Hey Ashleigh. Jack says you had a fun day."

"We did. And I've actually been thinking. I've got something I want to run by you."

"Me?"

"Just as a reference."

"Have a seat." He motions to the set of chairs in front of his desk and I sit down.

"Okay so I know this is absolutely crazy but do you know the one thing that keeps my mind occupied when you guys are on a case?"

"What's that?"

"Kids!"

"You want to start keeping everyone's kids?"

"No I was offering to start keeping Jack again."

"Well, Beth has been having some problems so I'm sure she would appreciate it. If you want to coordinate with her."

"Alright cool! Just give her my number and let me know. Maybe we should have a group text?"

"Good idea."

...

When we get home I make quick work of dinner while Spencer lays on the couch with Amelia on his chest. I can't help but watch them. She's holding her head up and they're cooing back and forth at eachother.

"So what did you talk to Hotch about?"

"I'm going to start keeping Jack some."

"Good! You need to keep your mind busy when we're away."

"So, how was work?"

"I got a promotion. Well, sort of."

"Sort of?"

"Yeah. I mean I was promoted to SSA. I was already SA."

"What's the difference?"

"There really isn't much. It just means I can run point on a case officially pretty much."

"Oh well that's still good."

"And I get an office."

"Oh really?"

"Yeah."

"Oh wow. What brought this on?"

"I'm not sure. I haven't exactly been a model agent here lately. I do have to go and see Strauss tomorrow though."

"Uh oh."

"I'm not worried. I've always been her favorite."

"Good."

"So what did you get done at the house today?"

"I got the living room, kitchen, and dining room painted. Haven't decided what to do with the play room yet though. But I used that to keep jack occupied."

"Awesome. I can't wait to see."

"What do you say we...go take a shower?"

"I second that motion."

...

"You're amazing. You know that?"

"I just want to be a good husband."

"And I want to be a good wife."

"I love you. So much."

"And I you." I prop myself up on my elbows and kiss him.

"I'm not sleepy, Spencer."

"So what do you wanna do?" He's laying on his back idly playing with my hair.

"I'm actually hungry."

"Oh yeah? What do you want? I'll fix it." He starts to get up and throw on his pajama pants.

"I actually want some chocolate ice cream..."

"I'll go out and get it."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah. I'll be ten minutes."

"You're the best."

"I know."


	53. Chapter 53

**Thank you to ahowell1993 and lolyncut for reviewing!**

**Chapter Fifty Three**

I wake up before Spencer, which is rare so I decide that it's my turn to make breakfast. I put chocolate chips in his pancakes and get the regular syrup out of my hiding place. This is bad but I always put the low sugar kind in a regular bottle. Because by the time he has his sugar with a side of coffee, anymore sugar sends him sky high and I can't keep up with him. Today is different so I break out the big guns and go to wake him. I sit on the side of the bed and kiss him. Eventually he returns the kiss and his eyes open.

"What a way to wake up."

"Good morning Supervisory Special Agent Doctor Spencer Reid."

"Good morning yourself. What's that smell?"

"Chocolate chip pancakes."

"Chocolate chip!" He gets up out of bed and scurries into the kitchen. I am trailing behind him when I hear him talking to himself.

"She got out the good syrup too!"

"Wait a second, you knew about the syrup?"

"Duh. Profiler." He points to himself before he starts eating. I drive him to work and after I leave, I get so carsick that I have to pull over. I finally make it back home and I curl up in the bed with Amelia beside me. I prop pillows up on Spencer's side and put her little activity arch over her in case she wakes up. Finally, I set an alarm for 3 before drifting off.

...

When I get up at 1, I feel a little better so I try to get some laundry washed and dried before it's time to go and get Spencer. When he approaches the car, I get out.

"I think you should drive, I've been nursing a headache."

"I could have taken the metro home..."

"No, I wanted to come and get you."

"Okay." When we get home Spencer carries Amelia inside and I collapse on the couch, exhausted.

"Baby, maybe we should go to the doctor."

"No I'm okay. I promise. I just need to rest for a little while. It's just a headache."

"I'll fold the laundry. You go on to bed."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah. I'll heat you up some soup."

"Thank you Spencer."

...

After I've eaten, I try to get some sleep but I just toss and turn all night. At 2am, Spencer's phone rings.

"Where?" I ask when he hangs up and peels himself out of bed and walks around the room getting ready.

"Florida. Military academy."

"Is that something you guys usually deal with?"

"Mass suicide."

"Oh no."

"I'll call you before we land. That place is notoriously low tech so I don't know how much reception I'll have when we get there."

"Just be careful. And don't do anything stupid. I know how you get with teenagers."

"I will be. And this is nowhere near a normal school with normal kids."

"I know. Do you want me to drive you in?"

"No. It's late. I don't want you having to get out."

"Love you."

"Love you too." He bends over and kisses the top of my head before running out the door.


	54. Chapter 54

**Thank you to ahowell1993 for reviewing! **

**Chapter Fifty Four**

*Spencer POV*

I am sitting at the far end of the plane alone. I'm skypeing with Ashleigh on the way home. Strauss comes to sit across from me. She's scrolling through her phone but I can tell she wants to talk so I wrap it up pretty quick with Ashleigh.

"I've been meaning to sit down with you but I haven't been able to catch you."

"I'm sorry. There's been a lot going on."

"Care to elaborate?"

"JJ has been really getting to Ashleigh."

"I'll tell her to back off."

"She tried to commit suicide. JJ put all of these thoughts in her head and manipulated her to the point where she had a brief psychotic episode. If anything like this ever happens again I will not hesitate to leave the BAU. honestly, the only reason I'm still here is because Ashleigh wouldn't let me quit. Don't worry, I've calmed down and I'm okay again. But something needs to be done about her."

"I'll take care of it."

"I really appreciate it."

"Agent Jareau. Come here please." I give Strauss a look but she raises her eyebrows at me.

"Chief Strauss." She sits next to me and I immediately tense.

"I don't know what is going on with you and Dr. Reid and his wife. But this stops here. Leave Ashleigh alone. Do I make myself clear?"

"Crystal." Yet, I feel her glaring at me for the remainder of the flight. When we get back, Ashleigh insists on picking me up so I'm waiting for her. I'm putting some stuff away in my office when there's a soft tap on the door. I turn around smiling, expecting to see Ashleigh. My smile fades when I realize it's JJ.

"What?"

"I just wanted to apologize. I really am sorry for all of this."

"Then prove it. And give us some space."

"I just want you to know that I'm here for you. Whenever."

"I mean it JJ. Never speak to my wife again. Ever. All contact goes through me. I don't care how trivial it is. Your relationship with her is over. Finished."

"But if she really is psychotic then should she really be alone with the baby? I mean, I can help you out with her."

"She is perfectly capable of taking care of my daughter. HER OWN DAUGHTER."

"I'm sorry, Spence. I guess I just always saw you as someone who would always be there. Someone who I could always turn to."

"That ship has sailed."

...

**Ashleigh POV**

I decide to go up and surprise Spencer in his office instead of just waiting in the car for him. Garcia took Amelia the moment the elevator opened and she's walking around in the bullpen showing her off. I walk down the hallway that Morgan pointed me to and when I am moving past his window I see Spencer has his back turned to it and JJ is facing him.

"Spence..." she reaches her hand toward him but he jerks away from her.

"Don't call me that. And don't fucking touch me."

"What did I tell you?" I throw Spencer's door the rest of the way open and cross the room to her. Next thing I know we are on the ground and Spencer is trying to separate us.

"I was just apologizing to him."

...

The car ride home is almost silent. Spencer and JJ were in Hotchs office with Strauss for over an hour.

"So what did they say?"

"Pretty much, she cannot be alone in a room with me, we will no longer be paired in the field, she is not to contact or otherwise communicate with me unless it is directly related to a case. The next infraction will be a month long suspension. Strike three will be termination."

"I was hoping it wouldn't come down to this."

"It has. And it's all on her."

"I'm sorry, Spencer."

"What do you have to be sorry for?"

"She was like your best friend."

"A best friend wouldn't do what she's done. I don't need people like her in my life. I need you though. And I will do anything to protect you."


	55. Chapter 55

**Thank you to ahowell1993 for reviewing! Okay I realize this is REALLY short but I wanted a sweet little filler. **

**Chapter Fifty Five**

I am laying across Spencer's lap on the couch and he's reading to me. I really don't know how we came into this pastime but it's refreshing and we haven't had the time or felt like it since the day after Amelia was born when we were still at the hospital. So much has happened. Amelia is laying beside me on the couch babbling at the both of us.

"She likes Chaucer."

"I think so." I smile up at him and he closes the book, sitting it on the table beside him. He runs a hand through my hair and bends down to kiss me.

"I have an idea."

"What's that?"

"Why don't you go ahead and get Amelia to bed."

"It's actually past her bedtime. But what did you have in mind?"

"I want to play a game." He winks at me and I laugh.


	56. Chapter 56

**Thank you to ahowell1993 for reviewing! **

**Chapter Fifty Six **

I go out into the living room and Spencer has put a sheet over the couch. I eye him suspiciously.

"You are wearing far too many clothes." He slinks over to me and slowly undresses me.

"What's the sheet for?"

"You'll see. Go lay down and close your eyes."

I roll my eyes but oblige. After a few minutes, he comes and blindfolds me with his scarf. Next, he kisses me and when he opens his mouth I taste ice cream. He lets it slide down my throats before I feel a cold spoon on my collarbone. He traces down my body, stopping right above where I really want him to go. I hear him set the ice cream down before he starts licking it off. By the time he is done, I am panting and desperate.

"Now, lets get serious about this."

...

I am laying back against him in the bathtub and I am completely spent. We ended up going twice on the couch, once in the shower. Three hours later my legs feel like jello and he ran a hot bath which we are relaxing in now.

"How does a man who was a virgin when we met turn into such a sexpert?"

"I read a lot," he shrugs. "Plus I've had these fantasies since about a month after we met. There isn't enough time in the world to get through them all."

"I believe you. It's been different almost every time. You're always pulling new tricks."

"We aim to please."

"I love you," I yawn and melt back into him.

"I love you too, baby."

...

I wake to the sound of the shower running. I have no idea how I even got in the bed but there's still a towel wrapped around me. Spencer must have carried me. I hear the water shut off and he emerges from the bathroom.

"Hey sleepyhead."

"What time is it?"

"830."

"You're late!" I jump up and try to get dressed in a hurry.

"No I'm not. We're meeting at the tarmac at ten. Hotch should be here soon to pick me up I'm riding in with him."

"I missed a call from Hotch?"

"I called him back. Beth is sick so he's dropping jack off that's why we're just riding in together. And he will bring me home when we get back. I hope that's okay."

"Yeah yeah. It's perfectly fine. I would have been annoyed if you told him no."

"That's what I said."

There's a knock on the door and I can hear jack yelling in the hallway.

"Ashleigh! Spencer! Dad I don't think they're here."

"I'm coming!" I open the door and Jack leaps into my arms.

"I hope that Reid didn't wake you on our account."

"No not at all. So where are y'all headed?"

"Texas."

"Oh okay."

...

Jack is watching cartoons and Amelia is sitting in her saucer when my phone rings. It's Will. It takes me until the last ring to decide to answer it.

"Hey."

"Hey Ashleigh, I know this is really short notice but do you think you could watch Henry for a few hours?"

"I guess. Are you dropping him off?"

"Yeah. Thank you so much. Be there in a few."

...

When Will gets back he cuts tight to the chase.

"Can I talk to you about something?"

"Yeah sure. Shoot."

"Is there something going on between Reid and JJ that I should know about?"

"She's made advances. Spencer didn't reciprocate. They didn't do anything. She was mostly just a bitch to me. No offense."

"Is that why you were in the hospital with panic attacks?"

"I haven't been altogether there since I was abducted. It all just piled up and crushed me."

"I'll talk to her."

"Thanks."

...

When Spencer gets back, him and Hotch come through the door laughing.

"You told her husband?"

"It slipped?" I try but the three of us just bust out laughing. We sit around talking for a while. They're decompressing. When it's time for them to leave, Hotch turns around in the doorway.

"Oh I almost forgot, we aren't taking any cases until Tuesday. I'm giving everybody a four day weekend to catch up on consults. You'll still have to come in tomorrow and work from home through the weekend but we won't be leaving town."

"Oh cool. Thanks."

"I've got a pile at home that would rival yours."

"Ouch."

"Yeah. That's what I'm thinking. Have a good weekend guys!"

"Thanks! You too."


	57. Chapter 57

**Thank you to ahowell1993 for reviewing! **

**Chapter Fifty Seven**

Since they got a three day weekend, I decided to take Spencer to Vegas to visit his mom. His birthday is Sunday and she still hadn't met Amelia. It was love at first sight and Diana didn't want us to leave. We visited more of Spencer's family before heading home. He's gotten most of his case load out of the way. I think he's got two more to do. Derek says we should be in the house within the next two/three weeks max. That being said, Spencer has put me on house duty so I'm going to be spending a lot of time at the house getting it ready when he's away on cases.

...

I've thrown up three times since we've been home and I think I'm getting a stomach virus or something. Spencer keeps fussing over him but I'm trying to get him to give it a rest.

"Ashleigh, come on. You can't keep anything down. You threw up water."

"I know. I'll be fine. I'm sure it's just a virus."

"I have to go to San Francisco. Please promise me you'll get some rest."

"I promise."

"And call Garcia if you need anything at all."

"I will."

...

I try to go about my business like I normally would while Spencer is gone. Jack is with me but he's never any trouble. If anything he's a big help. Derek texts me and lets me know that Spencer's surprise is supposed to be taken to the house today and wants to know if I can go and let them in. I agree and that's where I am now. Two older men show up in a Lowes truck and get out smiling politely at me.

"You must be Derek Morgan's friend! I'm George and this is John."

"Nice to meet you. I'm Ashleigh. I'll show you inside."

They work silently and within a couple hours they're leaving. I go to look and I am so giddy with excitement. Floor to ceiling bookshelves line a section of the living room and they match so beautifully. I never told him about this. A while passes and I get a call from Hotch. He's checking on Jack and I can hear him distancing himself from the group.

"Ashleigh, we have a problem."

"What?"

"With everything that has been happening, we really screwed up big and forgot Reid's birthday."

"Oh no. I'll take care of it."

"Thanks so much. You're the best. We should be home tomorrow by 4."

"Where? Round table room?"

"Sounds perfect. But...is the whole team coming? If so I might need to set it up and leave."

"Don't be ridiculous. I'll take care of it. Just set up a group text with me, Emily, Morgan, Rossi, and Garcia. You can use the card I gave you for Jack."

"Oh that's not necessary I can-"

"Don't argue. Just use it. I want to do this."

"Thanks Hotch."

"You're welcome."

...

When we get home at 9pm, Amelia is already asleep so I go ahead and put her to bed before curling up next to Spencer on the couch.

"Thank you for the party."

"Hotch pulled all the strings. I just set it up. Did you have fun?"

"Yeah...yeah I did. More fun than I've ever had at an office party."

"Wow I can't believe I've got to go take my picture tomorrow."

"For what?"

"My badge," I say nonchalantly. "I'm the BAUs personal party planner now." He laughs and kisses the top of my head.

"The best damn party planner in the business. Now, since it IS the night of my party, how about some birthday sex?"

"Good idea." I climb on top of him and grin at him maliciously.

"Oh...that's how it's gonna be? Okay."


	58. Chapter 58

**Thank you to ahowell1993 for reviewing! **

**Chapter Fifty Eight**

I still haven't been able to shake this stomach bug but I refuse to go to the doctor. There's no need to freak out over being nauseous and I have so much to do. Spencer is away on a case and I'm trying to furnish this house. We've decided to put Amelia in the room closest to us and make one bedroom into a home office and one into a quest room. The fourth one is being used for storage for now. I've got the entire downstairs done. All we have to do as far as furniture goes is move the couch and tables from the apartment when we actually move. I've been hanging pictures, decorating, and moving a few things here and there. Jack has started staying with me full time when they're on a case so right now I'm in the pickup line for school. He gets into the car and we drive off without issue.

"How was school?"

"Eh. School was school. Can we have pizza for dinner?"

"I think pizza can be arranged."

"Hey aunt Ashleigh?"

"Yeah buddy?"

"Are you and Spencer in love?"

"You could say that," I giggle. "Why do you ask?"

"Well I think I'm in love..." I look back at his sweet face. Seven years old and already starting to notice girls.

"Who is it?"

"Well her name is Reagan and she's so pretty and shes really nice and she smells good too."

"Does Reagan like you?"

"I think so...she gave me a sticker with a heart on it. See?" He holds up his folder and sure enough there it is.

"Well maybe you two should have a play date. Who are her parents?"

"I don't know, but there's a fall festival at school this weekend can we go?"

"Well your daddy might be back by then, but if he can't take you then yes I will."

"You're the best!"

"I know." I give him a cheeky grin before shutting the car off and helping him out. After I've got both kids baths and put them to bed, I sit out on the fire escape with my tea and wait for Spencer to call. Just like clockwork, my phone rings at exactly 9:45.

"Hey babe, how are the kids?"

"Good, as always. How's Oklahoma?"

"It's Oklahoma," he laughs. "Not very interesting. It's clearly a copycat. How's the house coming?"

"We should be ready to move in whenever you get back."

"Awesome! A week ahead of schedule!"

"I know! I'm so excited. I've got the entire upstairs finished now. Literally all we have to do is move our stuff over from here. That's it. Oh and the fridge came today and the- oh shit never mind that's a surprise. Just focus on the fridge."

"Surprise?"

"Yeah. Surprise! So don't spoil it! And don't interrogate Morgan either!"

"Calm down calm down I won't ruin your surprise. I'm just happy to hear you so enthusiastic about something. It's refreshing."

"I'm starting to feel more like myself again."

"Good. That's a good thing. A very good thing."

"So, you know how you've been talking about wanting more kids?"

"Are you pregnant?"

"No!" I laugh him off. "I'm just saying I feel like I'm ready to discuss it. Not now of course. You're on a case. Just...once we get moved into the new house we can take it under consideration."

"I like the way you think."

"I miss you."

"I miss you too. So very much. And I miss my baby girl."

"She misses you too, babe."

"On the upside, the entire team is guest lecturing next week so I'm actually going to have shorter hours."

"Really?" I yawn but try not to let him hear.

"You bet. Now you should get some sleep."

"What about you?"

"We should be home tomorrow night. Seriously, get some sleep. You won't get much tomorrow night."

"Is that a threat or a promise?"

"Hmmmmmmm. Both. I love you."

"Love you too."

It's not long after we hang up when I go to bed. I don't sleep very well but it's better than nothing. The next day goes pretty smooth and when I get back from picking Jack up from school, Spencer and Hotch are sitting on the couch.

"Hey buddy! Were you good for Ashleigh?"

"He was excellent," I smile. "Oh and there's a fall festival at school tomorrow." I lay Amelia down into the bassinet.

"Thanks for the reminder. We're going to get out of here. Thanks again!"

"No problem."

When they're gone, Spencer snakes his arms around me from behind.

"So...Amelia is napping. What do you say we take this reunion to the bedroom?"

"I'd say lead the way."


	59. Chapter 59

**Thank you to ahowell1993 for reviewing! **

**Chapter Fifty Nine **

Spencer and I have managed to get everything packed into boxes in a day and a half. We were going to hire movers but instead everyone insisted on having just one convoy and getting it all in one trip. Rossi borrowed Will's truck so that we could have two. We managed to get all of our big stuff in the beds without issue and packed Spencer's, Emily's, Hotchs, Garcia's, and my car with the rest. Morgan and Rossi are driving out in front of everyone just in case something comes loose and we need to stop. I'm caught off guard when everyone stays and helps put everything where it goes. I just assumed we would unload and they would be on their way. Once we're officially moved in, we all sit around the dining room table with pizza. Jack is in hog heaven. He's gotten pizza like three times this week.

"You'll have to fill those bedrooms up, kid." Morgan winks at us and Emily slaps him on the arm.

"Oh we're working on it." I wink back, emboldened by the wine. Damn, Rossi has game with wine. Everyone leaves and I am cleaning up when Spencer comes into the kitchen and takes a plate from my hand, putting it back in the sink.

"Come to bed."

"Isn't that my line?"

"It's mine tonight." He chases me up the stairs and into the bedroom.

...

I drive Spencer to work and I am pleased with the drive. It was only a 20 minute round trip verses the 2 hour round trip we did have from D.C. to Quantico. Now we are just seven minutes away from the BAU. I'm still nauseous all the time so I decide to go to the walk in clinic just to get checked out. They've checked me for everything under the sun and nothing. Finally I relent and agree to let them do a pregnancy test. Except I'm almost certain that there's no way I'm pregnant. I wasn't nearly this sick with Amelia. Spencer calls me while I'm waiting.

"Hey, what're you doing today?"

"Well, I can't keep feeding you pizza for dinner so I'm going to the store."

"Ooooh can you get me some of those little pizza rolls?"

"Yes but you can't only eat pizza."

"Jack likes em too!"

"Fine! I'll get pizza rolls," I laugh. "You're sure in a good mood."

"You could say that. It's been a refreshingly normal day, actually."

"Well that's good. What do you want for dinner?"

"Stir fry? You make the best stir fry baby."

"Stir fry it is." I smile into the phone.

"Oh, gotta go. See you at five. Love you"

"Love you too." I hang up and play with Amelia for a few minutes until the doctor returns.

"Mrs. Reid. It seems you're pregnant."

...

I am reeling all afternoon. I mean I know how this could happen but it's so soon. Amelia is only five months old for crying out loud! Turns out I'm three months along already and I didn't even realize it. I go through the motions and drop the groceries at home before going to pick Spencer up. I wait in the parking garage for him and he comes down with a confused look on his face.

"Hey Honey, are you feeling okay?"

"Uhm, no. Not really. I'm still nauseous.."

"I'm taking off and taking you to the doctor tomorrow. This has gone on long enough. Baby, you're miserable."

Just keep my mouth shut. I want to find a subtle way to tell him. I manage to keep it to myself until we are collapsing in bed. Both of us are exhausted.

"Boy or girl?"

"Huh?"

"You need to cast your vote."

"My vote? You're pregnant again!"

"Three months. Just found out today."

"It's about time you went to a doctor!"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean you haven't had a period in 83 days."

"Wait a second, when did my last one end?"

"Approximately four days before we made love for the first time after having Amelia."

"And you didn't think to say something!"

"I didn't wanna put the cart before the horse. You're the one who has to be pregnant and go through labor and delivery. It's your place to tell me. Plus you get kinda snappy when you're pregnant and I didn't want to be in the dog house."

"Oh I do?"

"lil bit."


	60. Chapter 60

**Thank you to ahowell1993 for reviewing! **

**Chapter Sixty **

I wake up to beg the sound of Spencer running all over the bedroom. It's like 9am.

"Hey babe, what's going on? I thought you were going to the convention with Garcia?"

"I was. We just got a call though. Bank robbery gone wrong. Crisis negotiation is overseas. Please whatever you do, do not go into the District. This is a mess."

"Okay. Be safe?"

"Always. I'll call you later okay?"

"I love you."

"Love you too." He gives me a quick kiss before running out the door. I periodically watch the news coverage of what's happening. According to the news, this group has been responsible for seven robberies and seven murders over the past seven months. It's been hours and I haven't heard a peep from Spencer but I know he's busy. After a while my phone rings and it's a blocked number. Normally I don't answer these but I have a bad feeling so I accept the call.

"Hello? Who is this?"

"Oh thank god you answered."

"JJ? Why are you calling me?"

"Please don't hang up! It's an emergency!" This stops me in my tracks.

"What's wrong? Has something happened to Spencer? I saw the bombing on tv and they said there were federal agents inside but didn't release wether they were killed."

"No! No no no! Don't go there. He's perfectly fine. Everyone's fine. We're all fine. Emily was inside but she's okay."

"Oh thank God." Relief washes over me and I sink down into a chair at the kitchen table.

"Look. I know we have our differences but I really need your help. I know you don't want to see me but I NEED a safe place for Henry to go."

"What can I do?"

"Just stay put. Me and Rossi will bring him to you. We're ten minutes out now. I was going to stay at the BAU with him if you wouldn't take him."

"Ok I'll watch for you."

She hangs up and leaves me reeling. It must be bad if she's having to call me. But this makes me realize: even though JJ and I can't stand eachother and aren't even on speaking terms, we would never let our differences put our kids in jeopardy. When they arrive, I can tell that Rossi is awkwardly waiting for the claws to come out, but they don't. Instead I hug Henry tightly and send him into the playroom. I am fighting back tears because honestly, I'm afraid. Spencer is out there. I have no way of contacting him. And from what I've seen these people are masterminds with bombs.

"Thank you so much, Ashleigh. I really appreciate you helping me."

"Don't mention it. I know you'd do the same for Amelia." I turn to Rossi. "Can you just...have Spencer check in? Please?"

"You got it."

A while later, I'm sitting on the porch watching Henry play in the yard when I see a black SUV coming down the road. Something seems off about it. It's driving way too slow.

"Henry! Henry! Get inside!" I pick Amelia up from the pack n play and usher them in the house. I take them up to my and Spencer's bedroom and drag the bassinet into the walk in closet. I get in the gunsafe on the top shelf and tuck a pistol in the back of my pants before turning to Henry.

"Stay here. Do not for any reason leave this room."

"Where are you going?"

"To see if we have company."

I close the door behind me and take the stairs three at a time on the way down. I lock all of the doors and look out the front window. There's someone in our driveway. I can't let him get near my house. I take a deep breath and open the front door, walking outside. He's walking- more like limping- up the driveway.

"Can I help you?"

"I'm from the FBI, I was sent to get the kid."

"Name and rank?"

"Agent Anderson."

"Nice try," I draw my gun and point it straight at his head. "I've met Anderson."

"Don't try it." He pulls a gun too and there we are. In a standoff.

"You better hope your first shot kills me because if not I go down shooting."

"I'm already dead anyway, Bitch."

Out of the corner of my eye, I see another SUV approaching. I can tell that Morgan is driving. There are no sirens and no lights though. The man takes two steps toward me and I pull the trigger without hesitation. I end up hitting him in the neck and he drops to his knees. His gun skids across the ground and I run toward him, kicking it away. I just stand there, holding the gun pointed at him until they swerve into the driveway. I barely register Spencer running toward me.

"Ashleigh. Ashleigh honey, you're okay. It's me. It's Spencer and Derek. Okay? Give me the gun, baby." I turn to him and hand over the gun. He sticks it in his back pocket and wraps his arms tightly around me. He smells like ash and sweat.

"I got him. Get her inside, kid." Spencer keeps an arm around me and leads me into the house.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah I'm fine. Don't worry about me. Go get the kids."

"The kids? What?"

"Amelia and Henry. I locked them in our closet when I saw him coming down the road. Something just felt off." He runs off and comes back momentarily with them, putting them in the playroom and closing the gate.

"Why is Henry here? I thought JJ was taking him to the BAU?"

"She called and asked me to take him so she could focus on Will."

"And you were okay with this?"

"When it comes to the kids, yes."

...

It's after midnight when JJ calls Spencer. He is in the shower so I answer the phone.

"Hey Reid, how's Henry?"

"He's okay. Spencer is in the shower."

"Okay. We should be there in about an hour to pick him up. They're just now discharging Will."

"Okay. He's asleep."

"Thank you for doing this, Ashleigh. I really appreciate it."

"Don't mention it. I'm going to get to bed but Spence will be up."

"Alright. Thanks again."

"Hey babe, who was that?" Spencer comes out of the bathroom with a towel slung around his waist.

"JJ. She just left the hospital with Will. They'll be here in about an hour. Can you wait up?"

"Yeah. Oh while I'm thinking about it, Rossi texted me and he is having a surprise wedding for them. We don't have to go though if you don't want to."

"You should go. I might. To be polite. It just depends on how I feel tomorrow."

"Okay deal."


	61. Chapter 61

**Thank you to ahowell1993 for reviewing! **

**Chapter Sixty One **

I don't stay long after they've said their vows. Ashleigh has been miserable all day so I brought Amelia along with me to give her a break. Morgan comes to sit next to me at the table while everyone else is dancing.

"I take it that even though the wounds are starting to heal, it will be a while before the hurt goes away?"

"You take it right. I actually tried to forbid Ashleigh from coming tonight. I didn't think it would be a good idea. But she insisted. Said that she wanted to start laying it all to rest. But she's having a hard time with the pregnancy so she ended up staying home anyways."

"Pregnancy?" He raises an eyebrow at me and I mentally kick myself.

"I mean..."

"Oh my man! Pretty boy has done it again!"

"Keep your voice down! She doesn't want to tell anybody yet!"

"How far along is she?"

"About fourteen weeks."

"That's about three and a half months and Amelia is five and a half so..."

"It was probably the first time after she was born."

"That's great news though. Congrats."

"Thanks man. Hey, I'm gonna get home to Ashleigh now."

"Alright cool. See you tomorrow."

"Yeah, see ya tomorrow."

When I get home I find Ashleigh curled up on the couch in the playroom. Amelia is on her belly in the floor, slapping at a little floor keyboard that Garcia got her. I smile and go over to the couch, pick her feet up, sit down, and put her feet back down in my lap. I peel her socks off and start rubbing them.

"Oh Spencer, don't look at my legs and feet." She puts her face in her hands. "But why not?"

"They're already swelling!"

"Baby, that's a perfectly normal part of pregnancy. Don't you worry."

"So I was thinking..."

"Yeah?"

"Well, I know that Rossi's is the usual hangout. But I was thinking maybe we could invite everyone over one weekend."

"Good idea."

"Oh and I had another idea. But you probably won't like it."

"Lay it on me."

"I think I want to start keeping a couple of kids."

"I'm confused."

"Babysitting, Spencer."

"Are you sure you want to tie up all your time like that?"

"We have the room. And I won't take anymore than four."

"Why Four?"

"Well, we already have Amelia, and I already have Jack all the time. So I figured that four would be a good number."

"Yeah but when you take on to account we've got one on the way, that's seven kids total."

"Oh yeah. You're right. Maybe I should take it down to just two."

"Okay so where are you planning on finding these kids?"

"Is there anyone you work with?"

"I could mention something to Anderson about it. He's got a couple of kids. I think they're two and four. I've heard him talk about what a pain it is because they live in Quantico but can't get theirs into any sitters or daycares around here. His wife works at the academy. So they have to drive an hour into the District and an hour back to work."

"Oh that must suck."

"Yeah they're spending like four hours a day just driving. And that's with no traffic. I'll talk to him tomorrow. I'll just mention that you're going to start sitting and ask if he wants first dibs."

"You're the best, honey."

"I know." She wiggles her feet out of my hands and crawls into my lap, wrapping my tie around her hand and leaning down to kiss me.

"I'm going to put Amelia to bed. Meet me upstairs. And don't take that tie off."


	62. Chapter 62

**Thank you to ahowell1993 for reviewing! **

**Chapter Sixty Two **

I roll over in the bed, with difficulty, push up on my elbow, and gaze at my husband. His eyes flutter open and he smiles up at me.

"Good morning, beautiful."

"Good morning yourself." I glance down and giggle.

"And good morning to you too, morning wood." I smile at him mischievously and glide my hand down, puking the covers down to expose him. Spencer sits up on his elbows to look down at my hand.

"Damn, Ashleigh. We've had more sex just in the past seven months, than we've had the whole time we've been together."

"I know," I lick my lips and smile deviously at him. "Are you really going to complain?"

"No not at all!"

"I could make you beg..."

"I've got another idea," he flips me over onto my back and pins my wrists above my head. He leans down and kisses my cheek before moving his lips against my ear and hissing. "Don't move." He nips at my ear and makes his way down. He pins my legs apart. Every time I put my hands in his hair, he stops and pins them to my sides.

"You're turn to beg."

"Oh fuck, Spencer!" I try to squirm underneath him but he just playfully nips me telling me to stop.

"Now, I don't know what has gotten into you. You have been...relentless. You're so turned on by teasing me...well...how does it feel?..."

"Fuck me Spencer please?"

"In your words: how should I do that?"

"Please! I want you inside of me!" He slams into me but all I can do is beg him to go harder. Eventually he becomes almost erratic and is slamming into me with every move.

"Spencer please please please! Oh please!"

"Please. What."

"PleaseCanICum PleaseCanICum PleaseCanICum!"

"Now." He buries his face in my neck and slams into me two more times before he fills me and slows. He leans his forehead against mine and we are both panting.

"So, how does it feel?"

"Amazing," I smile.

"Let me make you breakfast."

"Oh you don't have to."

"I want to. As much as you drive me to work I owe you."

...

I take Spencer to work and pick up Eli and Carley, Anderson's kids. Eli is two and Carley is 4. I offered to pick them up from the BAU because I drop Spencer off everyday anyways. And anytime Spencer is out of town, or when I'm not feeling up to it, I just text them and they bring the kids by. Considering that our house is on the way they leave home at the same time anyways. Eli is the spitting image of his dad and Carley has his eyes. But she shares her mom's light brown curls. They are both the sweetest kids ever. Amelia is nine months old now and she is crawling all over the place. Prompting us to put baby gates everywhere. Anderson does have to travel occasionally. But luckily, his wife, Amy never has to since she works at the academy. I am making lunch for the kids when Spencer comes in the door.

"Hey, how did you get home?"

"Morgan drove me. I didn't want you having to get all the kids out just to bring my go bag."

"Oh...where are you headed?"

"Pensacola, Florida." He runs up the stairs and returns seconds later with his bag.

"I love you, I'll call you from the plane."

"Love you too, be safe."

"Always," he gives me a quick kiss before rushing out the door.


	63. Chapter 63

**Thank you to ahowell1993 and lolyncut for reviewing! i understand that this is a very short chapter BUT I feel like its neccesarry to tell the rest of this "scene", so to speak, as third person and i didnt want any confusion. **

**Chapter Sixty Three **

Spence has been gone for over an hour and I'm starting to worry. He just went out to get ice cream. I try to call his phone but it keeps going straight to voice mail. Something tells me he's in trouble so I decide to call Derek. He's groggy. Obviously, it's 2am.

"I think Spencer is missing. He went out for ice cream like two hours ago and I can't get ahold of him."

"I'll call the team."

A few minutes later my phone is ringing, it's Rossi.

"Hey I'm twenty minutes out."

"I'll be watching for you."

When Rossi comes in, he gets Amelia's bag and carries her out to his car while I walk behind them.

"Did he say where he was going?"

"He just went to the store right down the road."

"Okay I'll have Morgan check it out."


	64. Chapter 64

**Thank you to ahowell1993 and lolyncut for reviewing! **

**Chapter Sixty Four**

"Okay I know it's difficult but we need to think of victimology. Why Reid? Anybody?"

"He's like a puppy it has to have been someone he put away."

"What about an ex girlfriend?"

"Maybe...Ashleigh, has he ever mentioned any ex girlfriends to you? Ashleigh? Ashleigh?" She is snapped out of her trance and looks up toward Hotch.

"Umm. No. Never."

"Look I know your mind has to be running a million miles a minute but we need you to think. Please think."

"He did mention one...but he never told me her name. They went to Caltech together. I think she was like 19 when they dated and he was maybe 17? I'm not sure but I do know that he told me about how she took him to a party and got him drunk. She wanted to...but he didn't. I don't know. He doesn't really like to talk about it." She looks down, conflicted. They need to know in order to help him. But at what point do you decide to betray your husbands trust? Hotch seems to pick up on this and doesn't press her.

"Morgan? Maybe you can take her into Reid's office and you guys can talk about it."

"Yeah. Come on, girl. Lead the way." Rossi takes Amelia as Ashleigh and Morgan walk out of the round table room and down the hallway.

"Now I know this is tough-"

"I just- I don't want him to feel like I've betrayed him."

"Look, this may be the only way to save him. Please tell me what you know. I promise I will keep it to myself unless it's relevant to this case. But I need to know if this girl had a motive."

"He was seventeen. Knew nothing about girls but he was mildly curious. She was a chemistry student and everything went great for the first month or so. Then she got...weird."

"Weird how?"

"Well she wanted affection and Spencer couldn't give that to her. I mean damn, it took him a full month to hold my hand. It took us almost six to kiss. But anyways. He was uncomfortable and she said that it was normal. She took him to a party and got him wasted. She wanted to take his virginity but you know, alcohol can keep a guy from-"

"Yeah I know."

"Well she was brutal about it. Convinced him that there was something wrong with him. The next weekend she got him high."

"On?"

"He thinks it was a date rape drug. But he still to this day doesn't know. They never had sex but she...when she touched him he freaked out. He didn't even know why at the time all he knew was that her touching him was terrifying. He worked his ass off and managed to finish his degree early so he could transfer out of there after that. Morgan he worked so hard that he developed an eating disorder. Consistently forgot to eat. Took multiple online classes on top of the course load he already had. Hybrids that were designed to be completed in half the time of a regular class. He had 30 credits just for that one semester. Went home to see his mom at Christmas and then that's when he moved to the east coast."

"So that's why he transferred to Yale mid year?"

"Yeah."

"Okay. I'm going to go and try to find this girl. It shouldn't be hard to narrow it down. Did you get a discription?"

"Just a basic one. And he did tell me a name now that I think of it but I can't remember. And when we were moving I found her picture. I'm not even sure he realized he still had it. It was buried deep in the closet in a box full of old text books."

"I'll let you know when we have something."

"Thank you."

...

Spencer comes to in what looks to be an apartment. It's dim and bare. Save for the couch that sits across the room from the chair that he's tied to. He looks around and groans when he moves his head. It hurts bad. Probably from being hit with a pipe. He can't see anything that would even help him get out of here. He hears the door start to open and drops his head back down, closing his eyes. He can hear two people. A man and a woman.

"Wow. He's really filled out since I dated him."

"Yeah. Mother fucker put up one hell of a fight too. If I hadn't had Jeremy with me I probably wouldn't have been able to grab him."

"Oh, Spencie. Wakey wakey." He felt lips brush his cheek bone and it was all he could do not to last out. He opened his eyes and there she stood. Maeve.


	65. Chapter 65

**Thank you to ahowell1993 and lolyncut for reviewing! While im thinking about it i would like to add that i have always felt spencer would be a doninan tpersonality in the *bedroom* sense. let me know what you think! **

**Chapter Sixty Five**

"Spencer...Spencer. Come home. Please come home."

"I'm trying. I'm trying so hard...don't..."

"I love you Spencer..."

"I love you too..." he is gently roused from his dream, head pounding and groggy.

"Oh that's so sweet of you to say." Maeve smiles down at him and he lunges at her but the chair just tips over and she jumps back.

"Bitch..." he tries desperately to kick but she just laughs. "Why are you doing this? Because I wouldn't fuck you as a kid?"

"Oh sweetie don't flatter yourself. I'm just a pawn. BUT my bosses pay well so," she shrugs and pulls him back up, straddling him in the process.

"I've heard that this is how you like it. Isn't it? Is that what I did wrong? I had you laying down and you like to sit up. You're a biter aren't you? And to think I was trying to be gentle." Maybe he should have known it when he first met Maeve. She was 19 just like he told Ashleigh. What he didn't tell Ashleigh was that he was only 13. He broke up with her alright, but she followed him around and mocked him for four years until he was able to get into Yale and out of there.

"You think I wanted you then? No. I needed a joke to pass the time. It was a fun joke Spencer. Although, when you told me about being tied to the goal post, I did feel kinda bad. But I got over that when I got you fucked up."

"I'd almost forgotten about it."

"You know, Spencer, repression isn't healthy. You know I got you high as a kite and you just couldn't get it up. It must be hard to watch your wife get high and still retain her sex drive when yours goes out the window. Must be tough to watch her get high in general."

"She has crippling anxiety. Not to mention a prescription. I'd rather her get high a couple times a week than have her in bed all day crying her eyes out."

"So that must be why you argue about it."

"You leave her out of this!" He struggles against her but she grabs ahold of his face in a vice grip.

"Stop moving. You're grinding and you know what that does to me." She runs a hand through his hair, across his shoulders and down to the first button on his shirt. He slows his breathing and slits his eyes, dissociating just like Morgan taught him to do. In the back of his mind he wishes that Morgan had thought to teach him this *before* Tobias Henkel. But at least he knows it now.

...

"Baby Girl, I can't tell you. Please just open the file."

"But if there's a good reason...I don't want to invade his privacy like this it feels...wrong."

"Statutory rape is wrong."

"This report probably isn't about her it's dated when he was like thirteen. Ashleigh said that it happened when he was seventeen. We all heard her."

"Open it, Garcia. You know Reid as well as I do and we both know that he probably lied about his age at the time so she wouldn't go ballistic."

"Oh my God...I can't. I'm just going to print it for you I'm not reading it."

Morgan rushes into the conference room to find Hotch and pulls him into Hotch's office.

"Man I've gotta tell you something. And then you, as the leader of this team, can decide wether or not to make it known. But I won't do it. I ask that you allow me to tell his wife as you are telling the rest of the team because she cannot be blindsided by this."

"What is it, Morgan?"

"It's bad..."

...

"Reid was raped?"

"They didn't classify it as rape. There has to be actual intercourse for that."

"This statement says that she rode him...but with all of the drugs in his system he couldn't..."

"And everyone found out about it. There was video."

"We are not watching that."

"Absolutely not."

"So what do we think the connection is?"

"This girl was a patient of Doctor Malcolm who was just released from ESP a month ago."

"ESP? Wasn't he from New Jersey?"

"Overflow had a lot to do with it."

"So tell me about this girl, Garcia."

"Well her name is Maeve Donovan. She's from New Jersey, had a kind of rough childhood, stayed under the care of Dr. Malcom for five years before getting accepted into MIT. Her grades were really all she had going for her. From what I've gathered, she dated our good doctor for about three months before the incident."

"Tell me about Malcolm."

"Let's see he was transferred to ESP in August two years ago and he...jinkies."

"What, Garcia?"

"He shared a cell with Will Reid until his death ten months later. But the kicker is, Will Reid was also set to be released yesterday if he hadn't died."

"Okay, Prentiss and JJ, I want you to find out everything you can about the relationship between Malcolm and Will Reid. Garcia, get in contact with ESP as well and request a full file sharing of their time there. Dig. And cross check visitors. Chances are, Will Reid planned this attack before his death and this guy went ahead with the plan. If that's the case, there has to be a fourth man orchestrating this."

"Hotch and Morgan, will you guys be okay digging into Maeve's life alone? We'll brainstorm when I get back."

"Where are you going?"

"The administrator who signed off on the report st MIT, works at Johns Hopkins now. I'm going to pay him a visit."

"I could go?" Hotch speaks up but Rossi silences him.

"No. I'm going."

...

Rossi steps out of his car and walks slowly up to the main building.

"I'm looking for Doctor Charles Rednick."

"He's in a meeting."

"Pull him out."

An old gray man comes out from behind the desk moments later.

"SSA David Rossi from the FBI's behavioral analysis unit. I'd like to ask you a few questions."

"What kind of questions?"

"About a report from Caltech. Seventeen years ago."

"Let's step into my office..." the man looks nervously at Rossi.

"Yes. Let's."


	66. Chapter 66

**Thank you to ahowell1993 for reviewing! **

**Chapter Sixty Six**

"Tell me about Spencer Reid."

"Oh he was exceptionally bright. I was kind of put in charge of him at the time. You can't have a thirteen year old running all over Caltech."

"Oh course not. When you say you were 'put in charge of him'?..."

"Oh just the usual. He checked in twice a day."

"What can you tell me about Maeve Donovan?"

"The girlfriend. Did a real number on the kid."

"But you signed off on burying the allegation?"

"Well, yes. Honestly the boy needed thicker skin. Male rape? Really? He was a thirteen year old kid and she was a good looking nineteen year old girl. And your telling me he didn't want it?"

"So you encouraged this?"

"Well I wouldn't say encouraged..."

"You just did. Tell you what, doctor, why don't we take a ride?"

"I actually have some business to attend to."

"You don't have a choice."

...

"Jeremy...you can come out now." Reid glances over at the door and sees a guy walk out that bares a striking resemblance to his father. No. It can't be. There's no way.

...

Everyone congregates in the round table room when Rossi is finished with Doctor Rednick.

"Dave, what did you get out of him?"

"He signed off on dropping the allegation because he felt there was no need for it."

"You're kidding."

"I've got something relevant," Garcia chimes in. "It looks like they had one common visitor. A guy named Jeremey Thomas. But here's the kicker, when I look into his life, his mothers residence is the same as Will Reid's last known. So I did some digging, and turns out she gave birth to Jeremy August 21st, 1992."

"A year after Will Reid walked out?"

"Exactamundo."

"Any connection to D.C.?"

"An apartment in Shaw. Sending the address to your phones."

"You're the best."

"Wait Hotch. We don't know what we will find. Maybe we all shouldn't go."

"What are you suggesting?"

"You and I can go check it out. JJ and Emily should keep looking at the jail in case this doesn't pan out. Someone needs to stay with Ashleigh."

"Good idea. Dave?"

"On it."

...

The pull up outside of Jeremy's apartment and brace themselves for what they might possibly find. As they're getting out of the car, they see a man walking out. When he sees them he takes off running.

"Go. I'll check it out." Hotch nods and takes off after him. When Morgan kicks the door in, Maeve jumps up and holds a gun to Spencer's head.

"Just leave,"

"Not a chance, that's my boy now let him go and I won't shoot you."

"Can't shoot both of us at the same time." A man comes out pointing a gun at Morgan. Damn. Both of them are so trained on Morgan that they don't see Spencer bring his hands around in front. He's managed to get them untied. Morgan trains on the man and shoots as Spencer reaches up and grabs Maeve's gun. She gets off a shot to his shoulder before he knocks her down and shoots her too. He drops the gun and puts a hand to his shoulder.

"Fuck! Morgan, untie me damnit."

"I'm working on it kid." He checks for pulses on both of them but they're gone. He rushes over and unties Reid, helping him stand and leaving him against himself."

"Come on, let's get you out of here."

"Where's Ashleigh? I need to call Ashleigh."

"From the car."

When they get to the car and call Hotch he tells them to go on and send someone to pick him up. He's waiting on an ambulance for Jeremy.

...

Rossi is playing with Amelia when his phone rings. He answers it and then holds it out to Ashleigh.

"It's for you." She shakily takes the phone and walks over to the corner before putting it to her ear.

"Spencer? Oh thank God. Yeah I'll tell him. Which hospital? Oh God. Okay. Okay. I love you too."

"Come on we've got to go. I'll get Garcia."

When they get to the hospital, Ashleigh rushes to the emergency room to find Spencer and everyone else stays behind with Amelia.


	67. Chapter 67

**Thank you to ahowell1993 for reviewing! **

**Chapter Sixty Seven**

I rush down the hallway and ignore the protests of the nurse following me. When I hear Spencer talking I open the door and rush to him, holding him, being careful of his shoulder.

"You were shot? Why do you never tell me when you've been shot?"

"I didn't want to worry you."

"Spencer Reid! You know you can't brush this under the rug!"

"Oh shut up," he pulls me down to kiss him and the doctor clears his throat.

"Now the bullet went straight through and didn't seem to do any damage. I stitched it up but you'll need to stay the night for observation."

"Can I stay with him?"

"Yes. But no children after 8pm."

...

When they get Spencer into a room, the team comes in to see him. JJ doesn't stay long, but we are cordial for the time she is here. Spencer holds tight to Amelia the entire time until it's time for them to go. Garcia agrees to watch her over night so I can stay. Once everyone is gone, I lay down beside him at his request and lay my head on his good shoulder.

"What did they do to you, Spencer?"

"She didn't get that far if that's what you're thinking."

"Then what did she do?"

"She just messed with me."

"What did they want?"

"Well, one of the men was a guy that I put away for child rape and molestation. The other was actually...my half brother."

"You have a half brother?"

"Had. He's dead."

"What did he want?"

"He blames me for our father getting killed. And yeah, it is my fault. I personally had him sent to ESP knowing how brutal it was. And I made his charges known."

"You didn't poison him though."

"No, but I could have prevented it. That's all I remember. I dissociated myself for most of it."

"Dissociated?"

"I went to a different place. I went to you. And you got me through it."

"I was terrified."

"I know. Are you okay?"

"You're laying in a hospital bed with a gunshot wound and you're asking me if I'm okay?"

"Seems that way, yes."

"I'm fine."

"And how's my little boy?" He moves a hand down to my belly and runs his fingers across it.

"Kicking away. I was terrified that I would go into labor without you."

"I was already working on a plan. I had untied myself an hour before Morgan even came. I was waiting until she approached me again so I could take the gun off of her. I was going to get back to you no matter what."

"Spencer..."

"I'm exhausted," he winces in pain.

"Have they given you anything?"

"I don't need pain medication. I'm fine. Now get some rest. I love you." He kisses the top of my head before we both relent to the exhaustion of the last two days.


	68. Chapter 68

**Thank you to lolyncut for reveiewing! **

**Chapter Sixty Eight**

We've been home for a week and Spencer is increasingly frustrated. He doesn't want to take a full four months off. And if he takes paternity leave then that's how long it will be coupled with the time off from being shot. Hotch was able to talk him in to finding a substitute of sorts because he was so concerned about leaving the team a man down for so long. She's coming to the house today to talk to him. I think he said her name was Blake? I'm sitting the nursery trying to put this damn crib together and it is not going very well when Spencer comes in and leans against the door, smiling at me.

"What are you doing?"

"Putting a crib together," I say matter of factly.

"Your Allen wrench is upside down."

"Oh."

"Here..." he sits down in the floor beside me and takes the tool from my hand. "I'll be done in ten minutes."

"But your arm..."

"I can put a bed together." He rolls his eyes and me and I go into the closet, busying myself. I come out fifteen minutes later and he's putting the mattress down into the crib.

"Don't say I told you so."

"I wouldn't dream of it." He folds me in his arms and I get the familiar ache in the pit of my stomach. The door bell rings and he laughs.

"Way to ruin a mood. Come on."

...

"Alex Blake, this is my wife, Ashleigh." She extends a hand to me and I take it timidly.

"How do you know Spencer?"

"He's guest lectured for me a few times."

"Oh I see. So you're joining the team?"

"Temporarily. Just while he's on sabbatical. He will still consult on cases, of course."

"Of course...I'll let you two talk, I think I hear Amelia."


	69. Chapter 69

Thank you to lolyncut for reviewing! Also I would like to address a few things. 1. This story is averaging about five to ten readers per chapter. Yet, I only have two consistent reviewers. Please review guys. I'm serious. I get my best ideas by brainstorming with people. 2. I am about to start a new story and would like title suggestions. You would be credited of course. PM me for more details or just throw out a suggestion. 3. POLL TIME if you would like Alex Blake to join the team permanently, drop me a line and vote. Seriously. I'm not going to do it unless I have people actually interested.

Chapter Sixty Nine

I keep feeling movement and something touching my chest but I try to fall back asleep. Next thing I know, Spencer's lips are on mine and his hand is running down my body.

"Spencer what are you..." I mumble sleepily.

"Shhh...happy Easter baby."

"What? It's Easter?"

"Amelia's first. I thought we could...have a little fun before we wake her."

"You thought right." I hook my hand behind his neck and pull him down in a kiss.

...

I waddle down to the living room with Amelia in tow and she squeals happily when she sees her little basket. Spencer takes pictures of us and I take pictures of him with Amelia all morning. Eventually she tires out and I put her down for a nap. I go in the bedroom and lay down next to Spencer. Of course the mood has a mind of its own.

He stops mid thrust and looks at me wide eyed.

"Ashleigh. I think your water just broke..."

"You're joking. There's no way."

"Well I'm pretty sure that's what just happened!"

"Spencer, you know that sex can't break water."

"It's a slight possibility."

"Spencer...I probably just...you know."

"Without me?"

"Kinda," I bite my lip and laugh. "Here, I'll fix it."

...

I have been having contractions but I'm not saying a word. I'm not due for two more weeks and I will make it till my due date. When we go to bed, I can't get comfortable. I toss and turn for hours before saying fuck it and getting up to go downstairs. I am sprawled across the couch when Spencer comes down the stairs. I laugh to myself when he walks right past and doesn't even see me. Eventually he comes back into the living room and sits on the coffee table in front of me.

"I've been looking all over for you."

"I saw," I laugh.

"What are you doing down here?"

"I can't get comfortable. Can't explain it. I'm just not comfortable anywhere for long."

"Are you having contractions?"

"No," I lie.

"Your micro expressions just changed. Yes you are."

"No I'm not," I lie again.

"Don't lie to a profiler, Ashleigh. How far apart?"

"Ummm...maybe every 10 minutes give or take?"

"We're going to the hospital." He jumps and takes the stairs two at a time. Returning moments later with Amelia in tow, my bag, her bag, and a pair of shoes and jacket for me.

"We have to call someone."

"From the car." He helps me up with one hand and ushers me towards the car.

...

Amelia is with Garcia and I'm having a really hard time. I feel like passing out. They've tried to medicate me but I keep refusing. The last thing I need is to get hooked back on pain meds. This doesn't stop Spencer from becoming irate towards the doctors. This is going way too slow and I'm getting worried. As soon as we have a moment alone I pull Spencer closer to me.

"I need you to promise me something."

"Anything."

"Choose the baby. If something happens. Please." He starts to argue but he can see that I'm dead serious and just nods, kissing my forehead.

...

Thank you to lolyncut for reviewing! Also I would like to address a few things. 1. This story is averaging about five to ten readers per chapter. Yet, I only have two consistent reviewers. Please review guys. I'm serious. I get my best ideas by brainstorming with people. 2. I am about to start a new story and would like title suggestions. You would be credited of course. PM me for more details or just throw out a suggestion. 3. POLL TIME if you would like Alex Blake to join the team permanently, drop me a line and vote. Seriously. I'm not going to do it unless I have people actually interested


	70. Chapter 70

**Okay this is a short chapter. I apologize in advance. Where did my two favorite reviewers go?! Ahowell1993 and lolyncut? **

**Chapter Seventy**

One by one they enter. Until the entire team is standing in front of us. Morgan and Rossi bring up the rear.

"Meet Easton Cole Reid."

...

I groan as I try to get up off of the couch. This is the worst part. If I am already standing up I can get around fine and don't need any help. It's getting off of the couch or out of bed that's an issue. Screw it. I'm just gonna start sitting at the kitchen table or something.

"Spence! Hey can you come here for a sec?"

"Yeah I'm coming." He comes to stand in front of me and reaches out a hand.

"When did you say Alex was coming?"

"In an hour."

"I'll go upstairs so you two can work."

"No honey, we're just bouncing ideas for her new class."

"New class?"

"Yeah she's going to start teaching at the academy."

"Oh that's cool."

"Yeah. But how are you feeling?" He takes me in his arms and I relax against him.

"Better every day. It has been a month."

"Not six weeks."

"So technical," I roll my eyes and kiss his chest. "I think Rossi wants us over Saturday."

"How would you know that?"

"He texted me yesterday. I told him we were coming. How do you know?"

"Just got off the phone with him."

"Oh okay. What did you tell him?"

"I told him we were coming."

"Well, it seems we are on the same wave length." I shoot up on my toes and kiss him until we hear the door bell ring. Followed by our little man fussing.


	71. Chapter 71

**Thank you to ahowell1993 and lolyncut for reviewing! Everyone please review! Also, please check out my other story at:**

s/13281483/2/The-Evolution-of-Spencer

**Chapter Seventy One**

I'm actually warming up to Alex. Emily and I are getting close again too. With JJ it's tentative. We're at Rossi's and I've parked myself on a chair. I can't help but let my mind drift to right after Easton was born.

...

***flashback***

Morgan carries Amelia into the room and she squeals when she sees me and Spencer. Spence reaches out for her and she lunges into his arms.

"Look, Millie, meet your brother."

"Brufer?"

"His name is Easton."

"Eson?"

"Yes!"

"Baby!" She claps and holds her hands out to him. Spencer sits her in the bed beside me and I prop him up across her legs, keeping hold of the back of his head. I don't think I've ever seen her smile so big. Soon enough though, she gets bored and turns to climb on me. Spencer quickly scoops Easton up and addresses her.

"Be careful with mommy now! Her belly is hurting!"

"Oh Spencer lighten up."

"Yeah lighten up pretty boy!" Spencer rolls his eyes but bites his lip. There's no way he's going to argue with me right now.

*end flashback*

...

Millie is crawling all over me now too.

"So how are you healing?"

"Good. Spencer won't let me lift a finger," I laugh.

"Good. It's about time."

"Hey now, in his defense, I do have a system. I normally won't let him help."

"True." Rossi winks at us.

...

When we get home I am the definition of exhausted. Spencer goes to lay Easton in the bassinet in our room while I get Amelia settled. He comes into her room just as I'm pulling the blanket up over her.

"No fuss?"

"Nope. She's doing great with the transition to her own room."

"I'm glad."

"But you know me. She will end up back in our room the very first case you have."

"I wouldn't expect any different." He bends to kiss me and scoops me up off my feet, carrying me back to our bedroom.

"I wanna take a bath."

"Okay."

"With you..." I trail my fingers down his torso and grin at him. He starts to say something but I cut him off. "Just for you. Promise. No penetration..."

"Okay cause I was about to say-"

"The same thing you've been saying for the past five weeks. I know."


	72. Chapter 72

**Thank you to ahowell1993 and lolyncut for reviewing! Everyone please remember to review! **

**Chapter Seventy Two**

"Stop! No! Don't touch them don't fucking touch them!" I am jolted awake to the sound of Spencer screaming to the top of his lungs. His forehead is shining with sweat and he's grinding his teeth.

"Spencer! Spencer! Wake up!"

"No! I'll kill you!"

"Spencer!"

"Let me go! Let me go!" He jerks awake and halfway throws me off of him before grabbing my arms and pulling me against his chest.

"You're okay...you're okay."

"Yes baby, I'm fine." But this brings him no comfort. He's still shaking beneath me and he tightens his arms around me so tight that I can barely breathe.

"Spencer, honey calm down."

"I'm gonna be sick." He jumps up out of the bed and bounds off to the bathroom. I'm right on his heels. He's on the bathroom floor and I'm sitting on the edge of the tub, rubbing circles on his back. I don't know how long we sit like this but at some point I realize that we're both naked. I get up and go into the bedroom, slipping on his discarded shirt and bringing him a pair of pajamas back with me.

"Wanna talk about it?" He nods. "Tea?" He nods again. "Okay. Meet me downstairs." I walk slowly out of the bathroom, checking on Easton on my way out of the bedroom and popping my head into Amelia's room before going downstairs. A few minutes later, Spencer comes into the kitchen and sits on one of the bar stools across from me while I'm making his tea. He just stares at me and I can't place the look on his face. I see fear and pure rage. Coupled with...relief? Huh? I hand him his cup and he murmurs a thank you. I walk around the counter and take his hand, leading him into the living room to sit on the couch.

"What is it? What was your dream about?"

"I'm not sure. But they made me watch."

"Made you watch what?"

"My greatest fear. I saw you and the kids die." My stomach drops and my heart aches for him.

"Spencer, I'm here. I'm alive. I checked on the kids. The kids are perfectly fine and sleeping peacefully. Nothing is going to happen to us."

"You don't know that!"

"Yes I do! Look at me!" I take his face in one of my hands and snap him back up to me.

"I...I couldn't...couldn't save you...and they...oh my babies..."

"Do I need to get them?"

"No...no let them sleep."

"Spencer just tell me."

"I can't."

"Yes you can. You have to get it out."

"We had to watch the kids be...and then they took you...and I had to watch. And I couldn't stop it. And after they killed you..."

"I understand."

"I will never let that happen to you."

"I know that."

"I love you."

"I love you too. I know you don't want to go back to bed. How about a movie?"

"That's fine." I scroll through the channels and he crushes me against him. I'm surprised I can move enough to hold the remote because he's got a death grip on me. His nose is pressed into my hair and his heart rate is finally slowing. I just whisper reassuringly to him and try my best to soothe him. Slowly but surely it's working. I hear the baby monitor and I go to get up but he stops me.

"Stay. I'll go get him." He walks out and after a few minutes I go to check on him and I find him sitting on the foot of the bed, clutching Easton against himself and whispering to him.

"Daddy loves you and mommy and Millie so so much. And I swear I will never ever ever let anyone hurt you ever. Nothing will happen to you as long as daddy is here I promise. And I'm never ever going anywhere I'll always be here." My eyes fill with tears as I listen to him talk to our baby boy. If only I could take away his pain.

...

Amelia is turning one in a week and what started off as a simple birthday party has now been hijacked by Garcia, Emily, and Alex. Every one of them calls me at least once a day with a new idea and it's actually kind of amusing. Spencer has officially lost his mind with it too. Yeah birthdays are a big deal but geeze. I swear that team will find any excuse to throw a blowout. I can recall off the top of my head the dinner party that Rossi threw just because Amelia started crawling. I guess it comes with the territory though. With as much as they see, they need something good to think about. I just wish I could help Spencer. He's not been sleeping well, tossing and turning all night. Granted, at least he hasn't had anymore dreams. His subconscious is trying to keep him awake to avoid it, that's why he's been tossing and turning. Since that night, he's decided that he wants Amelia and Easton sleeping in the room with us. So we've been putting them in their own beds when we go to bed and then moving them to ours when we're ready to fall asleep if you catch my drift. Spencer hasn't hardly let go of Easton either. My guess is that's because he must've gotten it the worst in Spencer's dream. I've been letting him do what he feels is necessary. That seems to be working the best. I've pretty much talked to the whole team and they are all buzzing with excitement of Amelia turning one. I look down at my phone buzzing and see that it's JJ.

"Hey what's up?"

"Just calling to check on you guys."

"We're good."

"Well if there's anything st all you need, don't hesitate to ask."

"Thank you. I'll have Spencer someone later."

"Thanks Ashleigh. We're all worried about him."

"No need to thank me."


	73. Chapter 73

**Thank you to ahowell1993 and lolyncut for reviewing! **

**Chapter Seventy Three **

"Ashleigh. Baby wake up."

"Huh?" I roll over in bed and see Spencer standing in front of me holding a tray.

"What's that?"

"It's been eighty nine days since I brought you breakfast in bed." He sits beside me and places the tray between us.

"I'm not keeping score, Spencer."

"I know. I just love you so much. And I know sometimes I'm not the best at showing it." He gives me a peck on the lips and I beam at him.

"And besides, it's Amelia's birthday and I feel like I should celebrate you too. You brought her into this world."

"Aw Spencer. I love you."

"I love you too."

...

After we've done presents and cut the cake, Jack, Henry, and Carley are huddled around Spence learning magic tricks. Eli and Amelia are playing, and the rest of us are sitting back on the couches. Beth, who luckily was visiting Hotch this weekend, is holding Easton and talking to me.

"Ashleigh he is just the sweetest thing ever."

"Thanks," I smile.

"So are you two done? I'm sure you'd like to get back to working and finishing your degree."

"Oh I um, actually..." Spencer interjects and pats my knee from where he is sitting in the floor.

"We've decided for her to stay home with the kids. She babysits Andersons kids too."

"Oh how nice!"

"Yeah, Ashleigh is the best! They just love her!" Amy chimes in making me blush.

"Oh stop."

The day evolves into us all venturing outside. Spencer got me a whole outdoor seating area for Mother's Day. Eventually someone lights the fire pit and we sit watching the kids all run around and play.

"I can't believe boy wonder is actually working on a playground!"

"Haha. So funny." Everyone is laughing and joking around and I am just sitting and watching them in amazement. I am so thankful for every single one of them. When I first came to DC, I knew one person. I isolated myself to the point where I only had one friend. Until a chance meeting at a bookstore gave me the opportunity to have this amazing family. Not just Spencer and the kids. This team too. They have been the closest thing to a real family that I've ever had but I think it's like that for all of them. When you look around, you realize that everyone here belongs. After a while, Rossi clears his throat.

"In all seriousness, I would like to say how proud I am of you, Spencer. I always hoped that you would find someone whom you wanted to spend your life with, but I never dreamed of you having such a beautiful growing family. Kid, when I met you I had this sinking feeling that you would work your life away. But I am so glad for you now. And one day you will see that this is your greatest accomplishment."

...

The kids are exhausted and Spencer and I are soaking in the tub together. I am leaned back against him and he is kissing my neck tenderly.

"Thank you, Ashleigh."

"For what?"

"For giving me this. The life I always wanted but was too afraid to chase. The life that, until I met you, I was certain I would never obtain."

"Oh Spencer, you know that's not true. You could have any woman you wanted."

"No I couldn't. I am so undeserving. But I want to make it all up to you."

"What are you talking about?"

"I'm putting in my resignation at the end of the week."

"Why would you do a thing like that?"

"I want to protect you. I need to protect you. And I can't do that from the other side of the country. I don't want to make you raise our kids alone. I want our kids to see that their daddy was always there."

"Spencer don't you dare! That's where you belong and you know it. The kids and I are fine. Your kids will grow up knowing that their daddy is off saving lives. You're a real life superhero."

"I just don't want to be the father that isn't there."

"You won't be! You give it a hundred percent from the second you hit the door to the second you leave. You even give a tremendous effort by calling and texting constantly and video chatting at least once a day."

"If there's ever an issue you will tell me?"

"Absolutely."

"Because i don't want you to grow to resent me."

"I won't, I promise." I turn and straddle him before kissing him. He fills his hands with soap and rubs it all over my body before we lose ourselves to


	74. Chapter 74

**Thank you to ahowell1993 for reviewing! This chapter is going to take place right before S08xE16 "Carbon Copy". Please everyone review! I'd like to see how many people are actually reading! **

**Chapter Seventy Four**

I smile at Spencer when he enters the kitchen.

"What's the occasion?" He looks at the spread I've made for breakfast quizzically.

"Nothing special. I just hope you have a good first day back."

"I'm just worried about leaving you."

"We'll be fine. You aren't the only one with a gun." I rise up to my toes and kiss him. Pretty soon he is tightening his arms around me and turning to set me on the counter and stand between my legs.

"I should take you back to bed."

"No. Cause that would make you late for work." I start to pull away but he pulls me roughly against him.

"You're just so damn sexy." An idea hits me and I slink down to my knees, unbuckling his belt.

"Ashleigh there are nine windows in this room!"

"And?" I open my robe a tad where he has a nice view from above and pull his pants and boxers down seductively.

"It's broad daylight!"

"And?" I kiss the tip and swirl my tongue around it.

"And Morgan is picking me up. He always comes in this door..."

"Better be quick." I smile up at him mischievously before taking him in my mouth and playing over him with my tongue. I don't ever remove him from my mouth and I just stare in his eyes as he grows. Next thing he knows I am bobbing my head up and down and he is caressing my face.

...

When the door opens, Spencer is finishing his breakfast and playing with Amelia from across the table.

"Ready kid?"

"Yeah. Just a sec. let me grab my go bag. I'll meet you at the car."

"Alright." He turns to walk out the door and when he's gone I give Spencer a suspicious look.

"Your go bag is right beside you..."

"He didn't see it. Walk with me." He stands and wraps an arm around me, walking slowly to the door. He lowers his voice to a barely audible whisper.

"When I get home tonight, and the kids have gone to bed, I'm going to make you regret that little stunt you pulled." What? "Imagine your wildest fantasies come to life. I will literally fuck you senseless. On this kitchen counter." Once we are within earshot of Morgan, he gives me a chaste kiss and bites me lip subtly as he pulls away. He opens the car door and calls back an I love you before getting in and Morgan driving away. Oh fuck. What have I done?


	75. Chapter 75

**Thank you to ahowell1993 for reviewing! Everyone please take a minute to review! This chapter takes place the day/night before and during S08xE17 "The Gathering" **

**Chapter Seventy Five**

I am just finishing dinner when Spencer walks through the door at 5:15. Wow. He must have drug Morgan out of there. Normally when Morgan drives him, it's almost six before he's home.

"Somebody's eager," I wink at him.

"Morgan is right behind me. And I can see that you are too." He motions to the fact that dinner is ready almost an hour early.

"Touché" dinner passes without event as does the rest of the evening. After the kids are in bed, Morgan leaves pretty quick and I go into the kitchen to clean up while Spencer mysteriously disappears. Just as I'm finishing up the dishes, I feel him snake his arms around me from behind and lean down to kiss my neck.

"I was wondering where you snuck off to."

"Hmmm..." he hooks his fingers around the hem of my shirt and pulls it over my head and behind my back, trapping my arms behind my back.

"I like you like this..." he softly drums his fingers along my skin until he gets to the clasp of my bra. He unhooks it and brings it around over my head with my shirt. He tweaks my nipples causing me to throw my head back against his shoulder.

"Very nice..." he picks me up and sets me down on the island, but not before unceremoniously taking my pants and panties off. Now I am sitting in front of him, arms pinned behind me, completely exposed. He smiles mischievously and bends down, spreading my legs and dipping his head between them. He continues his torture for a few minutes before pulling me off of the counter and bending me over it.

"Spenc...what...what are you..."

"Shhh. Nothing bad I swear." He starts to finger me from behind and when he curls his fingers I let out a gasp and whine.

"Spencer please..."

"Please what?"

"Please fuck me," I whimper and I can hear the smile in his voice.

"Are you going to tease me in front of my friends again?"

"What are you talking about?"

"Morgan saw us this morning."

"He didn't..."

"Oh yes he did," he slows his pace and keeps his fingers in me, stroking me from the inside.

"I promise I promise. I won't!"

"Good. Come here." He turns me again and lays me flat on my back on the counter before plowing into me.

...

I am sated and spent with my head lolling on Spencer's shoulder as he carries me up the stairs.

"How was that?"

"Mind blowing."

"Well, we aim to please." He lays me in bed and I sit up, noticing that he never even made it out of his shirt. I'm stark naked and he's just got on a pair of boxers with his t shirt.

"Take your shirt off."

"You seriously wanna go again?"

"No," I laugh. "I want your shirt silly."

"Oh. Okay. Yeah that makes more sense." He takes it off quickly and hands it to me to put on before laying down and pulling me to his chest.

"I love you. So very much."

"I love you too, Spencer. So so so much."


	76. Chapter 76

**Thank you to ahowell1993 and lolyncut for reviewing! I am sorry for the short chapter but I will update by tomorrow. I've had a VERY crazy work week. **

**Chapter Seventy Six**

"Security detail? You have got to be kidding me."

"I'm not. Ashleigh can you please just cooperate? We are trying our best to keep our families safe."

"You don't even know if we're even in danger for sure."

"I do know that whoever if doing this has intimate knowledge of this team and all of our families. Everyone is getting a detail."

"What do you mean everyone?"

"I mean everyone. And not just everyone in the immediate area either, they've assigned a detail to Morgan's family in Chicago. And my mom."

"Spencer I just don't like the idea of having a goon squad following me around all the time."

"It'll just be a tail. That's it. And when you're home they will just be at the end of the driveway. I will personally find someone that you're comfortable with."

"This is only until you catch this guy?"

"Yes. I promise."

"Okay. I'll cooperate."

"Thank you. Seriously. If something ever happened to you or Easton or Amelia, I'd lose my mind."


	77. Chapter 77

**Thank you to ahowell1993 for reviewing! **

**Chapter Seventy Seven**

Spencer starts to feel me up but I swat his hand away.

"Spencer! We can't!"

"Why not?"

"Because...what if they...you know...see?"

He laughs and rolls his eyes at me.

"Ashleigh, sweetie. Nobody is going to see."

"But aren't they supposed to be watching me?"

"Not you persay. Moreso your surroundings."

"Still though."

"We don't have to if you aren't comfortable."

"Thanks." I give him a kiss and settle in beside him. He holds me close and I get an idea.

"Spencer can I ask you something?"

"What is it?"

"What did she do to you?" I feel him sigh and he runs a hand through his hair. Oh shit. He's already frustrated.

"This again?"

"Spencer you need to get it out."

"Why?"

"That's what you tell me."

"Ashleigh, I don't want to bother you with it."

"I am your wife Spencer. You have to trust me or what are we even doing?" I get up and storm downstairs. It's clear that he is still closing himself off and the thought pisses me off more than anything. I sit down on the back porch with a huff. He comes out after about ten minutes and sits down beside me, looking off across the yard and into the woods behind our house.

"You're angry."

"Yeah. Looks like it."

"Honey, I'm sorry. I just don't want to fill your head with these things."

"But Spencer I need to know. You haven't been yourself. You just agree with everything I say and that's not you. You have to at least tell me why the change."

"She knew we argued."

"All couples argue. Everyone. It's normal. If we didn't argue I would be worried."

"I don't want an outsider seeing conflict."

"Spencer she was stalking us."

"She knew a lot more than anyone ever told you."

"Then tell me now."

"She knew you smoke. And what you smoke. She knew that we bickered about it. She also knew how we make love."

"What?"

"She watched us enough to know that you are on top and I bite you sometimes."

"What did she do to you?"

"I told you I dissociated myself."

"Tell me what you told Rossi behind closed doors. Tell me what will never make it to trial. You have enough already to keep her in prison for the rest of her life. I swear it will stay between us."

"She raped me. But male rape doesn't exist."

"Yes it does Spencer. That's why you haven't wanted me on top of you since."

"Yeah..." he puts his face in his hands and he looks like a weight has been lifted off of him.

"Why did you lie to me and say she didn't get that far?"

"To protect you." He looks up to me and sniffles.

"Spencer you've been living with this for months."

"Yeah..."

"Oh honey," I wrap an arm around him and he leans his head against my chest.

"I'm sorry for not telling you. I'm so sorry."

"It's okay..."

"Since I'm telling the truth, I might as well tell the whole truth. She's still alive. All three of them are."

"Why would you keep this from me?"

"They're all in maximum security, Ashleigh. They aren't going anywhere."

"Maximum security my ass. I'll kill her."

"Calm down tiger. You aren't going to kill anybody."

"The fuck I'm not." If he really laughing at me?

"Okay okay."

"I'm coming to that trial."

"Can we discuss it later?"

"You can talk and I'll listen."

"Can we please go back to bed babe?"

"Sure. But you ain't getting any tonight."

"I wouldn't dream of it."


	78. Chapter 78

**Thank you to ahowell1993 for reviewing! **

**Chapter Seventy Eight**

The phone rings and wakes me up. "Spencer? I thought you were headed home."

"We got tied up. We're coming home. Just to the BAU. Listen to me carefully, I need you to stick close to your security detail. Do. Not. Let them out of your sight. Keep the kids in the room with you. If you need to go to the restroom, Anderson stays with the kids and agent Harris will stand outside the door."

"Spencer what is happening."

"It's the replicator."

"Oh my god." My heart drops and I jump out of bed, running down the hallway to collect the kids.

"Ashleigh you need to stay calm. Chances are he won't approach you. It's all about this team. I just need you to stay calm and stay safe. Do. Not. Leave. The. House. For any reason. Do you understand?"

"Yes," I choke out as I look down at Amelia sleeping so peacefully.

"Good. Anderson and Harris will be there in ten minutes to switch with the current detail. I figured you would be more comfortable with someone you actually know since they'll have to stay with you."

"Is his wife coming? I mean technically he IS a part of your team even if he's not considered to be a profiler."

"He didn't say for sure. But I offered."

"Okay good. Be safe."

"I will. I love you."

"I love you too."

I manage to get both kids down the stairs and they never even wake up. I lay them both down on opposite ends of the love seat and sit in between them. Exactly ten minutes after I put my phone down, I see headlights. I go and peer out the door, seeing Anderson and another woman in a suit climb out of a black SUV. He opens the back door and out comes Amy, Carley and Eli. Oh good. I open the door when they step onto the porch and everyone hurries in.

"Ashleigh!" Carley jumps into my arms and giggles.

"Hey baby!"

"Can I go to the playroom?"

"Umm...might want to ask your daddy..."

"That's fine, honey. Go ahead." He turns his attention to me. "Okay, Ashleigh. We should probably run through some security measures."

"I'm all ears."

"I'm sure that Reid already called you. Don't let that freak you out. There's two of us in here with you and there's also an unmarked car on the street. You are safe here. It would be better for us all to stay down here on the ground floor but other than that move around freely."

"Why the ground floor?"

"Just so it's easier to keep track of everyone."

"So do you have a direct line to the team?"

"Yes. I do. There's no need to worry."

"Oh okay," I turn my attention to the agent standing next to him. She's short and slender yet I can tell by looking at her that she can definitely hold her own. She has bright red hair and green eyes.

"I'm sorry I don't think we've met."

"We haven't. I'm Special Agent Whitney Harris. I'm normally with Sam Coopers team. I have pretty much the same job description as Anderson. But since my team is consulting with your husbands team, Cooper sent me here to help out with security detail."

"Oh...okay. Anderson? Is Jack safe? What about Henry?"

"Yes. All dependents have been accounted for."

"Oh good."

I decide that there's no way I can go back to sleep so I curl up on the couch with a book. Amelia is laying on my legs and Easton is sleeping soundly on my lap. It's been almost a full day and I still haven't heard anything. Spencer checked on me right before dark and told me to go to bed. But I just can't. I've just gotten Easton down for the night when Anderson comes into the living room.

"I thought I should let you know that they are heading out now."

"They found him?"

"We think so."

"Can I talk to Spencer?"

"They're in helicopters so I would say that wouldn't be a good idea. But I have them in my ear so don't worry."

"Oh good." I watch him intently until his expression changes to one of shock and he's on the phone with Garcia.

"Get backup to their last known coordinates. Yeah. Yeah they're fine. Get me two more agents here...because Harris and I are going in. Okay. Yeah. Thanks Garcia."

"What's happening?"

"One of the helicopters went down."


	79. Chapter 79

**Thank you to ahowell1993 for reviewing! **

**Chapter Seventy Nine**

The next few minutes happen in slow motion. There's two agents bursting through my front door as Anderson and Harris run out the back door and through a small patch of woods behind the house. On the other side is a field and I can see a helicopter landing there.

"Where is he? Where is my husband? What happened?"

"Mrs. Reid. We need you to stay calm."

"I'll calm down when someone tells me where my husband is!" I storm into the kitchen to find my phone and call Garcia. Thankfully she answers on the second ring.

"Oh thank goodness. Have you heard from Spencer?"

"We're coming back online now. I can keep you on until I have confirmation."

"Please do that." There are a few moments of silence before I hear Spencer's voice. "We're okay. He got Blake." Damn.

...

Hours later, Spencer comes shuffling through the door. He looks like absolute hell. I don't care that there's a house full of people. I rush to him and throw my arms around him. I barely register Anderson running past us and to Amy.

"Oh, baby. I was so worried."

"I know. I know. I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault. Did you catch him?"

"He's gone. We're all safe."

"Oh thank god. I love you so much."

"I love you too." He kisses my forehead and keeps an arm around me while addressing the other agents in the room.

"Thank you so much for staying with them. You guys can go home now. Don't worry about paperwork or anything tonight." They nod and leave, followed by Anderson and his family.

"Are the kids already in bed?" He gazes down at me and it's now that I see how dirty he is. He's covered in ash and sweat and dirt.

"Yeah..."

"I'm going to check on them."

"Okay...do you want tea?"

"No...just a shower."

"Alright."

...

Spencer comes out of the bathroom, hair dripping, and sits up in bed next to me.

"Its been a long few days..."

"Yes. It has. What happened out there?"

"Strauss was...she was killed. In New York."

"That's when you called me."

"Yeah...I'm sorry if I scared you or came across as kind of a jerk. I just...I saw her body and thought 'if he could get to her then he could get to Ashleigh' and all logic went out the window."

"It's okay. I know why you did it." He wraps his arms around me and squeezes so hard I can barely breathe.

"I love you so much. The thought of losing you...it paralyzes me."

"I feel the exact same way. I love you too." I shift and kiss him, timidly at first. But then it grows and we are all want and need. He rips our clothes off unceremoniously and in one swift move he is inside of me. Every inch of him. I think he is going to move but instead he stills. I am completely full and he leans his forehead against mine.

"Just let me feel you." He moves his hands over every inch of me and his lips never leave mine. After what feels like hours, he begins to move at a slow, agonizing pace. This is unlike what we usually do, the games we usually play. This is soft and sweet. He kisses me tenderly and his touch is so soft that it's almost a whisper. This is desperate. He's pouring all of his emotion into every kiss and when we reach our peak, he never removes himself from me. He just collapses on top of me and smothers my face in kisses, trailing down my neck before he comes to rest his head on my chest. I run my hand through his hair and after a few moments, I feel a wetness on my skin and look down at his face. He has his arms wrapped around me like a lifeline and he is softly crying into my chest.

"Spencer, baby..."

"It could have been you. It could have been you..."

"But it wasn't."

"But it very well could have been."

"I'm alive. I'm right here."

"I'm sorry I didn't call. I just was so terrified that f I heard your voice I would break down."

"You don't have to explain yourself..."

"Yes I do," he raises his head and looks me in the eye with a sniffle. "I don't ever want you to think I will stop calling. I will NEVER stop calling. I love you so much."

"I love you too. Come here." I put my hand on the back of his head and pull him down to kiss me. He rolls over, taking me with him and now I am on his chest. He snakes his arms around me and tangles his legs with mine before pulling the covers up over us.

"Goodnight. I love you."

"Sweet dreams. I love you too Spencer."


	80. Chapter 80

**Thank you to ahowell1993 and lolyncut for reviewing! **

**Chapter Eighty**

I collapse back into the bed after what I believe is round four. Spencer is laying beside me panting. This was my turn to be on top and phew. I'm actually starting to get sore and I think that he picks up on this.

"Sun is coming up,"

"Yeah," I mumble.

"You okay?"

"Yeah..."

"Coffee?"

"Yeah..." he gets out of bed and returns minutes later with my coffee mug, a little cup of water, and a couple Tylenol.

"Sorry if I got carried away..."

"I get it. It's been what? A month?"

"Thirty seven days."

"But who's counting," I laugh.

"I count every single second with you." He wraps his arm around me and kisses just behind my ear.

"Spencer, you are so sweet."

"I have my moments. Now. You, my lovely wife, can stay in bed I will take care of the kids this morning. Stay put."

"It's Tuesday...don't you have to work?"

"We're getting a week off in the wake of Strauss's death...so we will go back Monday. Because technically our week started on Sunday when she died."

"Well at least we get a week together."

"Yeah." He smiles down at me and kisses my forehead before getting out of bed. I can hear him down in the kitchen with the kids and my heart swells. Everything grows quiet and after a few moments, Spencer is coming in to the bedroom, holding Easton in one arm and a tray with his other hand. Amelia is right behind him.

"What's all this?"

"Breakfast!" Amelia squeals.

"Oh did you make this by yourself?"

She nods and Spencer and I share a laugh.

"You and daddy are just the sweetest! Come here, give mommy kisses." She climbs up into my lap and cuddles into my arms. Spencer sits down on the side of the bed and puts the tray on the table.

"What's all this for?"

"I always want you to feel appreciated. And I never want you to forget how thankful I am for all that you do. Now you, dear, need to eat. You are spending the morning in bed. Derek and Penelope are coming to get the kids in a few hours and in taking you out tonight."

"Oh is that so?"

"At least one date a month, remember?"

...

I take a long hot shower after breakfast and go downstairs to find Spencer reading to both of the kids. Easton is cooing but Amelia is sitting perfectly still and watching him intently, soaking in every word.

"You're such a good daddy."

"And you're the best mommy. You're out of bed?"

"I wanted in on story time."

"Well, far be it from me to deny you that."


	81. Chapter 81

**Thank you to ahowell1993 and lolyncut for reviewing! This chapter will take place in the gap between season 8 and season 9. **

**Chapter Eighty One**

I'm at the mall with Amelia, Easton, Carley, and Eli. I've gotten a few stared because I DO have four kids with me but whatever. I see more security than I'm used to but I just brush it off I get food for the kids but I'm not hungry so I just go for a coffee. I'm sitting inside the little play area watching Amelia, Eli, and Carley play and feeding Easton when my phone rings.

"Hey Spence."

"Hey honey...just wanted to call and check on you guys."

"Oh we're good. At the mall now."

"Which mall?"

"Downtown...why?"

"Don't say anything to anybody..."

"Spencer, what?"

"Shit. I could get in a lot of trouble but I have to tell you."

"Tell me what?"

"Well they haven't raised the terror alert yet..."

"Terror alert? What are you talking about?"

"I need you to calmly go home."

"Spenc-"

"Just do it," he cuts me off. "For once, don't question me. Just gather the kids and leave as quickly, quietly, and CALMLY as you can."

"Spencer if you expect me to wrangle four kids peacefully you need to let me hang up."

"Okay. Call me the second you are pulling out of the parking lot."

"Umm...okay."

"I love you."

"I love you too." I gather the kids up without much protest and make my way to the door. Just as I'm almost to it, a security guard stops me.

"Sorry ma'am. Nobody in or out."

"I was just leaving."

"No...you aren't." He brushes his jacket to the side and shows me a gun. Fuck. I am led, along with three others, back to the food court. That's when it hits me. They've got about twenty women and children rounded up. No men. What? Oh fuck. This makes the most sense. SWAT always tried to get the women and children out first. And men would fight back a lot quicker. Damnit. Come on Spencer. I know they're coming.


	82. Chapter 82

**Chapter Eighty-Two**

I stare down the barrel of a gun and silently hand over my cell phone. No fear. No emotion. Nothing. Just wait it out. I can hear sirens outside and the man who looks to be the leader is carrying on about the feds being here already. Thank God. I realize that all of them are dressed as security guards. I keep the kids pressed close into my sides and look around for a way out. That's when I see it. A saving grace. I'll send kids out with the other moms a few at a time. They're going two at a time to rotate checking entrances. This is a huge food court. If I can get a few people at a time to the service hallway door, they can definitely escape. I whisper to the woman beside me and she passes the message along. Soon enough, kids are being inched toward me since I am the closest to the hall. I subtly hand Easton over to a woman who looks to be about six months pregnant and give Amelia to a girl who I assume is about sixteen and whisper to the both of them and pull a third woman over to me.

"As soon as you hit that door, run. She will take up the rear since she doesn't have to carry anyone. Do not stop running. Get outside as quick as possible. Everyone else will count to three and be right behind you. Make sure to stick your hands out the door before you open it all the way, to clarify you are hostages before throwing the door open. Their fathers are out there. Oh and, when you get out there, tell them that they are talking about anthrax so they need to be careful."

"Anthrax?" The both look confused.

"Just get the kids out."

"Are all these kids yours?"

"No. The two youngest are. The two oldest are kids I babysit, but I think of them as my own. My husband works with their father."

"Is your husband a cop? You said he was out there."

"FBI. Just do as I told you."

"But how will we get out without being noticed?"

"I'm going to create a distraction…" I walk up to one of the guards and try my best to keep my face as emotionless as possible.

…

A pair of hands emerge from the door and Hotch yells.

"Hold your fire! Morgan, go!" Morgan runs up to the door followed by Rossi and Reid just as the door is swinging open. A woman emerges holding Easton, followed by three small kids. Next comes a teenage girl holding Amelia, followed by two more kids and another woman bringing up the rear.

"That woman…there were supposed to be more behind us..."

"What woman?"

"The one with four kids…"

"Ashleigh? She sent you out?" Spencer looks confused.

"She said she was going to create a distraction…"

"Shit!" Reid takes off toward the door but Morgan grabs him and drags him back behind the police line.

"You can't go in there, kid! They have weaponized anthrax!"

"Let me go! I have to help her!"

"Think about your kids!"

Spencer recoils like he's been slapped. That implies that something is going to happen to her. Just then, five more women file out of the side door and when they are behind the police line, Reid starts interrogating them.

"How many are left?"

"Seven, not counting the woman who helped us escape."

"Why aren't you counting her?"

"Because we heard a gunshot when we were coming out." Spencer draws his gun and bolts for the door, Morgan is right on his heels but he's not trying to stop him this time. He calls ahead at SWAT to move in and they cut spencer off, running through the door before he can get to it. The food court is cleared of the hostages and then the entire building becomes like a swarm. There are cops, SWAT, and FBI running all over the place, clearing stores. Every unsub that they find has one hostage with them. Blake and Prentiss are the ones who find Ashleigh. The unsub has her in a dressing room. He goes pretty much without a fight and Ashleigh is frantic.

"Untie me. Emily, untie me before Spencer finds me please."

"What happened to you?" He cuts the zip tie from my wrists and helps me pull my pants back up. "What did they do to you?"

"I can't breathe…Emily I can't breathe…"

"Did they give you anything?"

"They blew a powder on all of us."

"Ashleigh…Ashleigh!" She looks up to Emily with pleading eyes, silently begging her not to tell him how she was found.

"Please…Don't." Spencer rushes through the door and holsters his gun, pulling her tight against him before turning to address Blake and Emily.

"The mall is clear."

"We really need to get her to a hospital…I think she's ingested anthrax."


	83. Chapter 83

**I have a few things to touch base with you guys on first so please bear with me**

**1) Thank you to MayisGJ for reviewing and a very special shoutout to lolyncut for ALWAYS reviewing every chapter! You rock! **

**2) I need to apologize to you guys. For those of you that saw, I posted an authors note. It has since been deleted. I want to say I'm sorry and I feel as if I should have handled it better. I just let my anger get the best of me. I realize now that I should have just sent that individual a private message and not aired it all out. **

**3) Everyone please check out my other story "The Evolution of Spencer" and give me your thoughts!**

**4) As always, please review! **

**Chapter Eighty Three**

My eyes flutter open and I'm laying in a hospital bed. I see Spencer sitting in the corner asleep.

"Spence...Spence..." I call to him and his eyes slowly open before he jolts out of his chair and he's by my side.

"Baby..." he wraps his arms gently around my and rests his head against mine.

"What happened?..."

"You were the hero this time."

"I remember that...but...did everyone get out okay?"

"Yes. Thanks to you a homegrown terror cell was cut down."

"But..."

"It was all you baby. You got those hostages out and sent the entire mall into a panic. There were three more attacks that were supposed to happen over the next three days and we got intel on them all. They broke up one last night and we have raids planned for the next two."

"Come on. Do a cognitive." I lay back into the pillow and close my eyes.

"No...stop." He puts his hands on the side of my face and I open my eyes, rolling them at him.

"We got it all from the security cameras. I only have one question for you."

"I wasn't raped. He tried to take my clothes to prevent me from running. Humiliation. That's it. You can ask the rest of the hostages."

"Oh...I...I haven't seen the rest of them."

"Oh...but everyone came out okay?"

"Yes." He looks nervously around the room.

"Honey what is it?" I reach and rest my hand on his face.

"I umm...are you okay?"

"I'm fine. Honestly. Yeah I was terrified. But the whole time I was protecting our children."

"Baby..."

"I promise I'm fine. But you know what...Maybe I should have a psychological evaluation."

"I'm not gonna make you do that."

"I want to. I think it's for the best. Have Morgan do it."

"Uhh...okay."

...

**Okay I know that ended awkwardly but I need your guys opinion. Should I skip ahead to when Spencer is shot in the neck? Please review and let me know what you think! **


	84. Chapter 84

**Thank you to lolyncut for reviewing!**

**Chapter Eighty-Four**

They finally release me after another day in the hospital and Spencer takes me straight to the BAU so Morgan can do a psychological evaluation. He said the kids are at Amy and Grant's. Apparently, the Unsubs are still in interrogation and I can tell that Spencer can't wait to get his hands on the leader. He silently leads me into his office where Morgan is waiting for me and I sit in my usual spot on the little couch. He turns to Morgan, murder in his eyes.

"I'm going to interrogation. Don't let her out of your sight."

"Want me to bring her down when we're done?"

"Yeah, that works." He stalks out of the room without another word and shuts the door hard behind him.

"So…what's his problem?" I raise an eyebrow at Morgan and he sighs.

"Ya know, I get tired of doing these evaluations holed up in a room. Wanna go for a walk?"

"Yeah." He leads me out and we walk around the sidewalk that circles the entire complex. I can see trainees running around the track.

"So now will you tell me what's wrong with my husband?"

"He's angry, Ashleigh. Angry is really an understatement. I've known that kid for ten years and I have never seen him so furious. I think he is seriously considering leaving the Bureau."

"He can't do that because of me…"

"I think the two of you need to talk."

"That's easier said than done. He can barely even look at me."

"Just give him time. I think after this is over he will come back to his senses pretty quick. Okay now, let's cut to the chase?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, you didn't ask for this for shits and giggles. You obviously needed to get something off of your chest. And I can tell that you aren't disturbed. What's even more interesting is why you specifically asked for me of all people to conduct this evaluation."

"Okay, I know this is going to sound weird but you know how if Spencer is concerned about me, he talks to Garcia?"

"Yeah...And you decided that you would talk to me since you are worried now?"

"Something like that…"

"I'll keep an eye on him. Is there anything that you need to talk about?"

"It's just nice to talk to someone."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, I'm pretty much an introvert. The only people I ever even talk to are this team. That's it."

"Why do you think that is?"  
"I think after the abduction, I cut off the outside world. Spencer let me quit my job, and school for that matter. He was just trying to protect me I guess."

"But you've started back at school?"

"Yeah. When I found out I was pregnant with Amelia."

"Well that's good."

"I take online classes…and yeah, technically I have a job. But just think about the kids that I keep."

"Your own, Anderson's, JJ's, and Hotch's."

"Bingo. I only see this team. That's it. And I know that Spencer didn't intend to make me so incredibly lonely or he would have never encouraged me to start cutting people off. He knew that I was afraid and he knew that I wanted to stay in the safety of our home so he thought he was doing me a favor by making it possible and easier for me to do so."

"Well we're all your family. And if you and Reid ever get into it or you feel like you need to get out of the house, hit one of us up. Hell, I should introduce you to Savannah. She's a definite keeper. The two of you would love each other."

"Thank you, Derek."

"Any time. And you'll be pleased to know that I am signing you off with a clean bill of health. But we both knew how this would end."

"I'm sorry to waste your time. I just needed to talk to you without Spencer getting suspicious."

"No problem, I totally understand. Now, I think we should go and see how hard Pretty Boy is nailing this son of a bitch to the wall."

"That sounds like a great plan."

…

**_Okay guys I apologize for yet another short chapter. I've been having some anxiety flare ups along with a killer migraine so it hasn't been pretty. This chapter pretty much wrote itself. But as I said, my head is killing me and I cannot see too well at the moment so please excuse any grammatical or spelling errors. And as always, _****_Please Review!_**


	85. Chapter 85

**First of all, thank you to my followers: giderasia, MayisGJ, tannerose5, lolyncut, emmymay96, Turbo Stryker, and imwiththeband69. Also, thank you to the people who have favorited this story: AlwaysABabe, lolyncut, RAD092515, ihavenoideawhattocallmyself, and TurboStryker. Everyone PLEASE review! And don't forget to check out my second story, The Evolution of Spencer! Lastly, I'm sorry for the short chapter. I have been wrestling with anxiety and depression on top of writer's block as of late and I could really use some positive vibes. Drop me a line!**

**Chapter Eighty-Five**

Morgan sneaks me into the interrogation viewing room just as Spencer is walking out and slamming the door behind himself. Shit. He caught me.

"What happened to that psych eval?" He cuts his eyes at me and walks out of the viewing room, into the hallway with us on his heels. He goes straight into his office and sits in his chair, leaning his forehead into one of his hands. I timidly approach him and stand behind him, rubbing his shoulders.

"Honey?"

"I'm not angry with you."

"Wha- What?"

"I know that you asked for that evaluation so you could pick Morgan's brain. I'm not angry with you. I'm just angry in general. With this whole situation. I'm thinking about turning in my badge and gun when this is over. Moving us to Alaska."

"Spencer…"

"I'm serious. What do you think?" He raises his head and looks me square in the eye.

"I think we need to discuss this at a later date, when you've calmed down."

"I won't be calm until that son of a bitch is dead."

"Spencer what are you talking about?"

"Just what I said. I am going to personally watch them execute this sick son of a bitch."

"You're scaring me…"

"I'm sorry…distract me."

"Why don't we go pick up our kids? You can take me home and you can get cleaned up and come back fresh. Everyone is going home to rest for a while."

"Okay. But only because I want to get you out of here."

…


	86. Chapter 86

**Thank you to lolyncut for reviewing! Everyone please review! Sorry for the short chapter. I'll try to update again within the next day. **

**Chapter Eighty Six**

I am twiddling my thumbs and nervously watching the road. Spencer is driving.

"So...what happened?"

"Don't worry about it," he snaps. The rest of the drive to Grant and Amy's is completely silent. I get out of the car before Spencer has even shut it off and make my way up to the door. We collect the kids without issue and once we're home, Spencer takes Amelia straight up the straits to put her to bed. It's almost 11pm so that does kind of make sense. Once Easton is down for the night, I look all over the house and finally find Spencer sitting on the back deck, both baby monitors on the table next to him.

"You wanna talk? Let's talk."

"Okay..." I tentatively sit down in the chair next to him.

"This specific terror cell is notorious for some pretty horrendous crimes against children."

"So that's why you want to nail this guy to the wall?"

"Yes."

"What aren't you telling me?"

"This specific man has already been tied to over a dozen rapes across the United States. And they are no doubt part of a human trafficking ring."

"So you're going to do a bust?"

"Yeah...we're going to do a bust."

"Spencer what has you so shaken up? You've worked on hundreds of classes worse than this one..."

"Just knowing what could have happened to you...to the kids. Amelia is only a year and a half old. And she wouldn't be his youngest." My stomach turns as the weight of what he's told me sets in. "Tomorrow we're starting fresh and going over each crime that each individual has committed that could have led up to them joining this organization. I don't think I can look at those pictures knowing how close-"

"Knowing how close the kids and I came to that same fate," I finish his sentence and he nods.

"Then don't look at them. Ask Hotch if you can sit this one out."

"It's my job...I have to."

"Spencer..."

"I need to take a shower." He gets up and eases past me, going back into the house.

...


	87. Chapter 87

**Hey guys. Sorry I haven't updated in a while. And I'm sorry for that. I'm also sorry for such a short chapter. I just want to make sure there are still people actually reading before starting back up again. Please review and say SOMETHING to let me know y'all are still there! **

**Chapter Eighty Seven**

I sit on the bed until Spencer emerges from the bathroom carrying his dirty clothes, towel wrapped around his waist.

"You wanna get me some more clothes? I'm going to throw these in the washer."

"You're leaving now?"

"Yes."

"Oh...okay."

"Spencer-" I call our just as he reaches the door that leads out into the hallway.

"What?"

"Are you angry with me? For doing something so reckless?"

"A little. But now I know how you feel."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"Can we just talk about this later? Please? I really need to get back to work."

"Spence-"

"Just stop." I recoil like I've been slapped, but I don't say another word as he stalks out of the room. I go over to the closet and get him a change of clothes, laying them across the bed before going and getting in the shower. Spencer opens the door a few minutes later.

"I'm leaving now. I love you."

"Love you too. Take a nap while you're gone and come back in a better mood."


	88. Chapter 88

**Another shortie. Please review. **

**Chapter Eighty Eight **

Spencer drags in the door 36 hours later. His face is ashen and he looks exhausted, his shirt is halfway untucked and his tie hangs loosely from his neck. I get up off the couch and meet him at the door just as he is hanging his bag on the hook.

"Spencer-" I am immediately silenced by the look on his face. It's not anger. I've seen this look about a dozen times since I've known him. This hit him hard. And left a mark on him. My heart aches as I stretch my arms out and he crumbles into them. I lead him to the couch and whisper reassurance as he sobs into my shoulder.

"Spencer, I know you don't want to talk, but let's get you cleaned up okay?" He sniffles and nods into my shoulder. We are halfway up the stairs when he scoops me up in his arms and buries his face in my hair, carrying me into the bathroom and setting me on my feet. I help him wash and I can tell that he is stiff. Once I get around to his sides and his back I can see why. There is a giant bruise stretching from his right side all the way around to his left shoulder blade.

"Spencer! What happened?"

"Fell off the top of a moving train. I'm good. I hit the grass." I screw my jaw shut and finish washing him, once the water around the drain has run clear, he pulls me into a tight embrace.

"I'm so sorry."

"Are you still angry with me?"

"A little. But I understand why you did it. You were protecting our children. If it weren't for you, we could have lost dozens of civilians. But now I know how you feel. I run off to save the day and leave you here for days on end, alone, not knowing if I am okay. I get why you get so mad at me when I take risks. Because for about five minutes, I had to imagine a life without you. And I never want that. Ever."

"Spencer-"

"I'm thinking about leaving the BAU. I haven't made any decisions yet but I'm considering it. Will you support whatever decision I make for this family?"

"Can we discuss it at a later date? I'm just happy to have you home and I want to be in our bubble for a little bit."

"Of course." He tilts my head up and kisses me. After a moment, our kids changes and he is scooping me up and pinning me against the wall, slamming into me as I cry out. This isn't the sweet lovemaking I'm used to. It's primal and need filled. As we reach our release tears spring to his eyes and he sinks to sit in the tub with me in his lap.

"Oh I love you so much."

"I love you too."

...

I wake up to Spencer trembling beside me.

"Spence...spencer...baby you're dreaming." He rouses and locks eyes with me.

"Was it the same dream again?"

"Yes...I need some air I think."

"Want me to join you?"

"Please."

We make our way out to the back porch and he sits in one of the chairs while I go to get him some tea. I curl up in his lap and pass this cup to him, he takes it gratefully and cuddles me against his chest.

"If you only knew...the depths of depravity we see. Every day it seems to get worse and worse. It's eating me up inside. And I'm changing."

"You've changed a lot...in the six years I've known you you've changed exponentially. But you're stronger. You have more street smarts. You know how to survive now. And you know how to keep your family alive. None of those things you would know if it weren't for the BAU. Just- don't make any hasty decisions. You know that your team will always be family. That will never change. But even on nights like tonight, when you want to pull the covers over your head and quit, I remember the good side. I remember all the times you've bounded through the door smiling from ear to ear because it ended well. The time you called me because you were so elated you got there in time for a little boy. You have to remember that to. Even though the darkness and evil leaves a mark, I'd like to believe that the good does too. And you, my love, have done so much good."

"Thank you. Thank you for that. And thank you for always knowing what to say. I'll give it some thought." He gives me a chaste kiss on the cheek and I snuggle back against him to watch the stars.


End file.
